Sometimes I find myself stuck in a rut, doing the same things again and again, feeling everything is routine and not changed. Weekends are particularly like this. However so are evenings after getting back home from work. Prepare some food, eat watch TV, that's it. Like there is something missing. Sparkling would call me lazy it's true, my sanctuary room is a mess and needs a good tidy up. So I've pledged myself to gradually and psychologically try and remove things I've had a bond with. Things which are taking up space and collecting dust. I don't look at them and I don't read them or use them, they are often books and notes, but they can be anything at all. Such as a pot of about twenty different pens, and old pair of sun glasses, batteries galore, but most just need to be recharged, the list goes on.
Sundays are marked by a necessity to get up and get out on a walk. This will be between three and four hours. I go to a park which is two plus miles away, walk around the lake and then head to the supermarket. A shop must then take place to get goods for next week's sandwiches. These will likely be, cheese some sliced meat, perhaps a couple of items to eat later in the evening when I return from work. A bunch of spring onions, cucumber and peppers. Mayo. Sometimes additional items are added whilst at other times I will find the sandwich supply is not as empty as it used to be so less is needed. But I will say one thing diet is a problem, having been raised thinking there is nothing wrong with carbohydrates and they should be eaten with nearly every meal. At which point it is so easy to slip into the carb need to consume. It's a little like opening flood gates when you get started it is hard to stop. Cakes as well as being sweet have carbs in them as well and sometimes one cake is not enough, the urge takes over and before you know it you're on a cake stuff festival all for one. The carb rush is not something which happens after I've eaten lunch, the carb thing kicks in during the evening which is the worst time of all to stuff yourself. And I know it while I am doing it, thinking to myself, I really should not be stuffing this second Danish pastry especially after being so good and walking to work all week. But it still goes down quicker than you can say diet-fad.
The working week starts on Monday, I get up have breakfast, wash change and head out the door, it then continues like this again every single morning for five days of the week. Sometimes I take the bus to work, other times the train and just to add variety I walk the whole two and a bit miles which takes one hour to do. Almost to the minute I can time it. The walk is enjoyable because it forces me to just trudge again at a continuous pace and not let my mind be distracted, or just let it be distracted and be damned, it can go wherever it wants to go. Until the moment I have stepped in to the open planned building called the office. Which in its own right becomes a place to struggle with the travails of concentration whilst noise goes on all about me. I complain but am at the point of giving up, put in ear plugs and ear muffs on my head which in some cases only mildly attenuate the verbal chatter of those around me. Work levels increase, I struggle with them and then have to find a moment in myself to calm down. It seems as though everything has become a routine again. Leave work return home, eat and then become vegtable material watching TV all evening.
Something has got to give, change inspire. Otherwise I'd say I am happy.
