No more gym and some thoughts of traditional Polish food

Four days have passed now since Sunday morning's jog, at last I can walk without the pain of lactic acid in my thighs.  They are still a little stiff, but it's been a long time, now I'm conscious of a knee feeling a bit wobbly.  I'm beginning to understand being told by a friend who used to be significantly older "whatever you do don't get old." Well as if I am about to come across the fountain of eternal youth and stay young.  I always wondered what that stream was under the money tree in my back garden.  Knowing my luck if I did have a money tree it would be in Turkish Lira, making pretty good kindling and nothing else. Now I hesitate to contemplate whether I should go for another run.  Maybe tomorrow morning.  But I'm also due to get the train to Scotland tomorrow as well.  Sitting still doesn't burn much calories up either.  In fact when I think of everything I do physically, none of it helps.  Maybe I shouldn't of cancelled my membership at the gym.  I was under some impression by actually cancelling membership I would lose weight.  It has only been since I joined the gym some 15 years or so ago I put it on.  I never thought it was a great place for exercising, it's too neat, too tidy, too artificial, people don't more in the way the machines make them exercise.  It creates technique which is bad for you, well it's my opinion.  I could just be saying this to justify the reasoning behind giving up membership.  Sod it.  What have they done for me?  Make me poorer and fatter.  I think I deserve keeping my dosh in my own pocket.  Especially when considering I'm not going to get a wage rise between now and when they give me the boot.  When they do then maybe I'll lose more weight again.

Yes, Scotland tomorrow.  I get to see Sparkling Eyes again and give her a big hug.  Although I think I will have to probably make my own way to her house, but I'm no stranger to the bus.  It's good because when I wake up in the morning I will actually hug her rather than wrapping my arms around myself wishing I was getting a hug.  There is something about touching someone you love.  It must release chemicals in the brain.  A bit like they say it's good to stroke pets, they have a calming influence.

We will be heading off to Poland early on Sunday morning.  Taking a flight from Edinburgh.  I should of got a tourist book on Poland but just haven't had the chance.  The agenda is open, we will do whatever takes us away from shops and chain stores.  I want to eat real Polish food not a hamburger.  Something traditional.  Something which only tastes good when you are in the actual country, because it is only there the ingredients can be put together the way they should be.  It's like going to China Town.  There are so many Chinese restaurants around they have to be up to standard or they will not get customers.  Except for the unfortunate rise of the "eat as much as you like" troughs.  Where the food just doesn't taste quite up to standard.  Polish traditional food looks earthy.  Basic but good.  British food has been bastardised so much we no longer know what traditional British food is.  I'm sure if a questionnaire was asked of the general public most would think Spaghetti Bolognese was British.  We have forgotten how to make our own traditional foods.  As a country we get our food in instant packets from supermarkets, and then accept what is put in them as sustenance.  It's not, it just looks it.  If all the food in Poland is traditional I am going to be happy and probably put on a few more pounds.  In which case I'll probably have to consider purchasing some Polish clothes to fit my larger girth.  Damn I'd have to think about dieting and exercise just when I'm about to get a chance to stuff myself.

Polish money, families and self analysis

In an effort to get some Polish currency I went into a money changing shop, to my disappointment it would take at least 48 hours and the minimum exchange was £750.00, which was a bit more than I had anticipated to change in the first place.  In this case it looks like when I and Sparkling hit Poland I'll not have any Polish money.  I don't know how to pronounce the currency but it sounds something like "slottsky"  I have never been to Poland before but I once used to collect Polish stamps.  I don't know why I just liked them, in fact I still have my collection somewhere.  They are a few years old but probably worthless.  Funny when I was a kid I used to add up the pennies of all the stamps in a self evaluation to work out their value.  They are not of any real value, it turns out it is the collecting which is the fun part and admiring them.  It's not a big collection, but it's mine.  There used to be a cafe I would go to at the weekends with some friends.  It was run by an Egyptian man and his wife a Polish woman.  They were nice people.  He sold the business off at some point and they vanished from my world.  As the Buddhists say, the world is in a constant stated of change.  Which certainly goes for people as well.

Warm, friendly and happy people are a wonder to meet.  When I look back on my life they stand out.  My gran and grandad for instance.  They were always happy welcoming people.  It is such a stability in a child's life to have warm extended family.  There were also uncles, but most of them sadly did not take an active part or show affection so much.  I don't know why.  It has even vexed me how one uncle who's wife decided they were not going to have children never really got involved with his nephews and nieces.  For some reason he and his wife preferred their friends to their own family.  In my mind even if your family is crazy they are blood and so they are important.  You are there for them.  OK you might have a really nutty brother or sister but in turn they will have children and those are wonderful little creatures with their own personalities.  I am so happy when I meet my nephews and nieces, my only regret is they live too far away.  Families should be within four or five miles of each other to enable a better supporting network.  As my lost uncle has decided to disown his family I learn to get over it.  But I would love to just sit down with him and chat.  To ask why he abandoned his siblings and the relationships he should of had with his nephews and nieces, perhaps to put my mind at ease or to challenge him, put some blame on him.  Going back to my learning the lessons of how to change myself.  I need to get over it.  He has the freedom to choose just as I have the freedom to also let it go, get over it.  Not everybody feels the same about family as an important thing.  If I can do just a small bit in showing I care for the younger ones of my family, then hopefully one day as they get older, they to will look back on me with affection and tenderness.  With a bit more lucky they will laugh to themselves at something I would of said and know they loved me.

Sparkling Eyes is my mate.  Her daughter Rock Chick is as close as I'll get to having a daughter.  She is intelligent, funny and very much a girly, girl.  She also has taken on the attributes of Sparkling with her wicked sense of humour.  Although I have been an intermittent presence in their life's, I hopefully have given time and shown love and affection to the both of them.  Sparkling is in my eyes the most beautiful, warm loving and opinionated woman in the world.  I know because if she has a opinion on something I'm going to get to hear about it.  lol. 

I must be going through a thoughtful introspection period.  Weighing up myself and the psychological processes which are part of me.  It's like I am on a treadmill but someone has been controlling the pace of the rubber belt as it revolves round.  I'm fed up with this, so all this thinking about stuff is a way of wrestling back my own existence.  Evaluation shit and stuff.  You have to stand outside of yourself and look outside in.  Recently I have been thinking about my re-actions to things which are said to me, for everything we say to another person gives away what we are like and also provokes a judgement.    I'd just love to give up making judgements on everything and be unconditional in everything which is said to me.  It doesn't always happen I know.  I read once, if you want to become like a certain person, then act like them, think what they might do in a situation and then do it.  Providing they are a good role model your reactions could mimic a great leader, a respected statesman, or even a cheeky chappy.

Pain of exercise and the challenge of a life evaluation

Since yesterday's run my body has been going through various degrees of pain.  Depending on the part.  This morning it was general all over pain, even my shoulders ached and I couldn't work out why.  It must something to do with the general running action, swinging arms, but they weren't swung too madly like I was some kind of demented idiot, they were swung in a cool calm slow fat man way.  As the day has worn on most parts of me have recovered.  Except for my thighs.  They are stiff and painful when I walk down stairs.  They were stiff and painful with any kind of walking.  Now it's just going down stairs.  I'm on the mend.  I hope.  Today was day two, so I did a little more exercise but this time gentler than yesterday.  I cycle ride with Monster Boy of about six miles maybe a little less.  Cycling wasn't difficult, I enjoyed it and he enjoyed it as well.  I exercised my legs he exercised his jaw by doing nothing but talk for the first forty minutes.  It was like he'd been locked up all day with no one to communicate with and now had been let loose on me.  I like his company and it's interesting to see how an eleven year old sees the world.

I am trying out the thirty day challenge, my personal challenge is a little bit of exercise each day and it doesn't have to be exhaustive.  Something is better than nothing.  This is how I am seeing it now.  I think I am having what Covey would call a paradigm shift.  (Stephen Covey author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People).  Which has been one of the many reading books I have been reading at the same time for a few months.  If I enjoy something I don't think it should be devoured in one sitting, literature wise, if only I ate this way as well then I'd be a bit slimmer than I am now.  Fat Lad is a name which could not of been applied to me at one time.  I'm on Covey's second habit.  Which is: begin with the end in mind.  It is a powerful concept and one I have been thinking about even before I started reading his book.  It will likely have additional impact on me when I go on holiday next week.  I'm off to Poland and Sparkling wants to see one of the Nazi death camps.  It's a historical and more.  I'm not entirely sure how to view it.  I've seen the documentaries on TV know what happened but sometime next week I'll be there.  Seeing things for yourself, experiencing places and events is also part of the nature of Lean management, although in a somewhat different context.  I don't know what to think of it.  It will be a time when watching TV or reading are synthetic in comparison.

Covey states there are three kinds of asset, human, financial and physical.  This is a good way to remember  asset but I'm sure it is a little crude.  An accountant could find numerous ways in which to describe the financial.  Even when the financial doesn't exist.  A bit like the UK's chancellor at the moment, juggling with money he doesn't have.  Physical speaks for itself, but the most interesting is of course the human where again in Lean management the human asset is the most important.  It is the human touch which will decide the success or failure of a business.  As individuals we decide our own success or failure our in own attitude to the world.  Should I say the coloured spectacles we decide to put on.  Which can be inherited by those people around us, family being a prime example.  Every family has it's own set of prisms, and realising you are seeing the world through an inherited set of view points which are maladaptive is a big step.  Changing them is the next step.  Easier said than done.  So the bottom line is, at this moment I find myself re-evaluating myself, I'm taking off those glasses and trying to find another prism to see things through, or hopefully one which obscures but in a different and more pleasant way.  One which makes me at peace with the world.  Maybe I'll go for the job of Dalia Lama when I see it next advertised.  I'm not sure if I can be a vegan though, but I do hear vegans are generally fitter and not as fat.  So there could be an advantage, then at least I wouldn't ache as much as I do now.

Tomorrow is day three, let the slim man inside come on out.

First run Sunday

Before I went running this morning, I was perturbed about one thing.  Dogs.  Whether I was going to be chased by them. I thought back to the days when I was skinny, then I would go out for a six mile run and think nothing of it when I returned.  I would wash get dressed and didn't show a single bit of fatigue.  It was so easy.  I kept wanting to improve my time and get faster but I reached a plateau and couldn't improve on it.  Cold and wet days would harm my motivation because it took a while to warm up and fight off the cold or the rain.  On every run though, it would be dogs and cars I'd be wary off.  Dogs because they like to chase things and there is nothing better for a dog than to chase after a man running.  It's like they have some kind of instinct which says if this man is running he must be a rabbit, a big rabbit, but a rabbit.  I'll have a bit of him if I can.  Owners would shout at their dogs who in turn were temporarily prone to going deaf.  You learnt to give dogs as big a detour as possible, or to slow down and walk up to them and just past them.  They had no reason then.  They like to bark and scare runners, I'm sure it's not encouragement it's the expecting a bit of rabbit bark, this is why they are so loud.

Cars or rather all traffic is another danger because there is always a time when a road has to be crossed.  When running you just want to get across it as quickly as possible.  Standing still and waiting for traffic isn't a good thing to do.  You get cold and are then vulnerable, but you're more vulnerable in getting run over by a car as well.  There is the fast head turn which is developed.  Looking over your shoulder quickly to see if there is a gap in the traffic or on a quiet road there is nothing about to come out of a turning or speeding along for the moment of crossing.  It can be a risky business crossing a road.  A human being will always come of worse.  Because you have to do road running there's always exhaust fumes to put up with and wonder how much you are exposed to the diseases of exhaust smoke against the health benefits of a run.  This is why getting out and pavement pounding on an early Sunday morning is a must.  It's convenient, less cars around and more freedom in getting across the road.

I saw an old man out jogging while I was feebly trotting along.  He was unlike other old men and was a jogger himself.  He was fit, very fit, running faster than me, he was also tanned, like he must of been on holiday.  He wore a white t-shirt and imprinted on the front were some words which indicated he was a member of a running club.  One of the codes of joggers is to raise a hand as you pass each other, to say hi.  I saw him and said hi with my hand.  He raised his, but I felt he might of felt obliged to raise it rather than raise it because he genuinely was saying hi.  It annoyed me, but I'm fat and was going in the opposite direction.  So at the moment I have no say, no stamina, no ability to raise or allow testosterone driven motivation to kick my heal and take off.  I was closer to a walk than a jog.  But it didn't matter.  It was a start.  One day I'll be his age.  Hopefully not called fatboy either.

Changing myself then the world will follow

Going on from my last Blog, I'm now going to cogitate on the notion of choice and how it comes about.

"I have the freedom to choose."

A recap, others can not harm me unless I let them, therefore I have the freedom to choose whether I will let them.  In psychological terms this is about taking self control of a situation, and the harm which is done is usually mental distress of some form.  By saying I am not bothered, or it is not going to have an effect on my control is taking back.  However, there is a thought process which must be gone through.  Of mentally accepting this and reconciling both thought and feelings.  

My nephew Layabout Boy, is 24 years old and hasn't had a proper job since he left school.  I would meet up with him on occasion and buy lunch, we'd sit in a pub and then chit chat.  I found myself getting angry at him  I thought he should be working, and he was not trying enough, no matter what he said to me.  I was getting frustrated, there I am paying taxes and here is someone who for years doesn't know what the meaning of work is.  I then found rather than being an encouraging uncle just accepting who Layabout was I was meeting up with him and sticking the boot in.  Grumbling, moaning.  This didn't do either of us any good.  I could see it happening to myself so then decided the best thing to do was to have a period of time, some weeks where I did not see him at all.  This way when I did eventually set up another chit chat session I would be calmer headed.  But still I would be holding in my misgivings about Layabout's job searching efforts.  Really this was not a solution.  I knew it, because it was negative, negativity was not going to improve the situation.  I also realised it would could spoil the relationship I have with Layabout.  This thing I had was with me, not with him.  But at the same time I could not help how I felt.  I was wondering how could I get around these feelings inside.  The niggling, angry and annoyed feelings I was projecting onto Layabout.  So what did I do?

I sat in the pub, one afternoon, with a book, on my own.  Not reading the book so much.  I was just looking into space.  I kept playing about with these ideas, I didn't want to lose my nephew and distance myself from him.  I asked myself why should I let it bother me.  I told myself I should not let it bother me.  This process of introspection went on for at least forty minutes, maybe an hour just on this one topic.  I love him, he is my nephew, it's his own life, I should be the happy helpful uncle.  The one he can turn to, a support if he needs it.  My own mental frame of mind began to break down.  I asked question after question of myself.  If something ever happened to me and I never saw Layabout again, how would I feel?  The more I played with these thoughts a transition and dissolution of those negative feelings took place.  I was hitting them hard.  I was hitting them with a sledgehammer of reason.  With this barrage they could not sustain it.  The angry frustration was being replaced.  Layabout was too important to me.  You fight for the ones you love, but the hardest fights are with your inner self.  Then it happened.  I can't put my finger on the precise movement because it was building up and up, I just let go off all the baggage.  It fell to the floor in piles and then sank down through the earth.  There was not trace left.  It was then replaced, by warmth and love, an inner peace and happiness knowing the next time I saw Layabout the negative headed devil was not going to be around.  

There are universal freedoms we all have.  One of these is the freedom to choose how we psychologically deal with a situation.  This process means breaking through emotions which are harmful and finding the path to own self control.  I have the freedom to be happy, even if I am in a dire situation, because I know distress and negativity will just pull me down and will not be of help.  I have the freedom to be constructive to take back my own control of how I see things.  I can't do this for others, but another saying goes along the lines of.

"Physician heal thyself."

and the other is:

"To change the world you have to first change yourself."

This process is not a one off thing.  It is something which has to be practised.  Part of practising this is understanding the reactive nature of the self.   If a bee stings me I will first react by making a vocal sound of pain.  Look for the sting, perhaps scratch at it, complain to someone who is near me, it's easy to see.  In a similar way this happens with emotions, they can be reactive and when they are reactive I can equally act in a reactive way.  The situation then takes control of me rather than I take control of the situation.  It is a universal truth, being clear of mind and calm makes for better decision making.  However to achieve this it is necessary to step out of the reactive frame of mind.  A mind which can bias the world.  

  So the world had changed this morning.  But whatever the result, being chased or not, I was going to feel happy afterwards regardless.

What happens on the inside is shown on the outside

There is a saying

"No body can hurt you unless you let them."

I have never really understood what this statement meant.  Or I thought I understood it's meaning but only recently think I do understand it.  The thing is, the answer is not what you think.

I'm guessing most people will interpret this to mean something along the lines of, "it's no good letting other people take advantage of you, you have to stand up for yourself, stand your ground and fight back."  If they did then they are wrong.  For this response can mean replying with anger or aggression.   It is a fact anger is not good for anyone, most of all the self, the person on the inside who has it pent up.  If it's let out, then later there is the period of regret.  Or if there is not regret because of a self rationalisation being aggressive can be justified then it may mean other people will react differently.   Lets say however there are situations when anger is valid, what is done with it is another question altogether quite different.  What this statement is talking about is something much deeper inside.  Or rather both the co-ordination of thinking and feeling in a different way.  Lets repeat the phrase again:

"No body can hurt you unless you let them."

again

"No body can hurt you unless you let them."

I believe now this is to do with your own internal attitude.  The thing is it is not easy to do, to live, to understand and to change in the manner this short succinct phrase puts it.  However, like anything else which results in a psychological paradigm of consciousness the effect of understanding what this phrase is going on about are like one of the ripples of a stone plopped into water.  Where the first concentric circle is smallest and strongest, then as it spreads outwards rapidly becomes less powerful but still has an effect.  The ripple.  Ripple is a nice sounding word.  Ripple, ripple, ripple, ripple.  The ripple effect comes from just thinking what an earth does this phrase mean, but rather than starting at the centre of the concentric circle it is having one of these ripples on the furthest reaches gently lap into thoughts.   Lets reduce this phrase into an even smaller phrase used more frequently, heard more often but not quiet as eloquent.

"Am I bothered?"

So the meaning begins internally.  It is to do with my own thoughts, it is about understanding this and then acting internally to accept it.  The world could come to an end tomorrow, everything may stop in the next half hour.  A meteor is about to crash down through the roof of this house and hit me square on the head.  It's unlikely to bounce off no matter what some think.  I now have four minutes left.  I know this is definitely going to happen.  I can not escape it.  It is an inevitable event, the inkling is so strong it goes without saying.  So what do I do?

A) Worry and stress,  look out of the window, cry, sweat, palpitate grieve and expire.

B) Completely ignore the clues, the writing on the wall, the inevitability of the even happening, this becomes complete and utter suppression.

C) Accept the event is about to happen, then think of all the people I love all the wonderful things which I have been part of in my existence and if possible leave a message in the four minutes of time.  The message would be along the same lines.

If someone says something to me and it is said to hurt my feelings, to annoy, to provoke a response it is only because I let it.  Therefore

"No body can hurt you unless you let them."

Means to understand with the deepest possible mind, to feel with the deepest possible feelings, this thing which is said will have no effect on me.  POW.  This is an easily said thing, the reality is difficult, the reality is challenging, the reality is mature and leads to personal growth.  It is something which has to be lived every day, it is not a religion.  It is a mindful self conscious act, it is powerful beyond anything any person can ever do or say to another.  It is self driven, self motivated and self understanding.  It is probably the highest and most difficult attribute humanly possible to achieve.  Take this and throw in a sprinkle of what is important then a human being becomes a super human being.  It is not unachievable, but then all the best things in life are those which are difficult to attain.  If they were easy to get everyone would have them.  I may be made redundant in the next year, this is a reality.  However, how I choose to tackle this is a wilful decision.  To mope would be unproductive.  Which leaves working on those things which can be worked on and not those beyond my control.  This last paragraph I have made personal, but it applies equally to you.

Now, is this a meteorite I see before me, or is it something else?

Shrinking Socks

My socks seem to be shrinking in more than way way.  I think it has something to do with the washing machine.  I can guarantee over a period of a couple of months, perfect large socks will diminish to the size of a child's.  Large men's socks as well.  When I noticed this shrinking phenomenon start I began to by the larger size pairs.  Although a size 8, I'd by the pair which was made for 9 to 11.  There's nothing like a brand new pair of socks on your feet, they feel so soft and comfortable, they are indeed a luxury.  I love my socks.  Preferring to choose those which have a little character to them, some with stripes of different colours, some completely bright and sunny.  Never the dull ones, I can't abide by socks which are just grey or blue or black and are devoid of any pattern.  Even though they are covered up most of the day by shoes or boots, at some time those shoes or boots have to come off and then you are reminded what is on your feet.  I take my boots off at work and replace them with shoes, so I get to see my socks a number of times during the day and when they are bright and new I am proud to change my shoes.  Unfortunately they only stay new for one wearing, then it's in the wash.  Then next time they go on I know they will not be the same.  A little tighter, less softer, less comfortable and their fresh appeal has gone.  However, it is the slow strangulation of my feet and ankles which is the concern.  I know my feet are not getting bigger.  The socks are getting smaller, this there is little doubt about.

When I go to see Sparkling Eyes, my socks shrink again.  Then it is two fold.  For then my sock supply dwindles.  They vanish somewhere between the drier and the sock draw.  If there were a sock draw, which there isn't, then it would be an empty draw for me.  My beautiful socks are appropriated and I rarely get to see them again unless they happen to be on someone else's feet.  Sparkling's or Rock Chick's.  The washing process also has another effect in Sparkling's house.  For there singular socks go missing.  For no reason at all they will disappear leaving a lonely half behind.  The odds and sods draw is where I can always find a miss matched and unhappy pair of socks.  At one time I used to shirk away from wearing odd socks, now it has got to a stage of relief just to be able to find the socks and wear an odd pair.  Silly I know.  I think I must personally mourn the loss or disappearance of the odd sock.  Like the shrinking tight foot feeling when they are first put on the odd sock is another reminder of being out of place and not truely belonging somewhere.  I could go on a sock hunt but this seems like a fruitless afair for there have been times I have high-jacked my own socks back from Scotland to bring them to London and even found odd socks here.  I don't know what odd socks there are in Scotland or in London or whether they could actually reconcile themselves if I put them in the biggest luggage bag I could find and gave it a shake.  In the tepid hope they would gravitate towards one another.  It doesn't happen.  I once had three pairs of socks which were made from a bamboo fabric, I wore them once perhaps twice and never again did they appear.  I liked the idea of bamboo socks.  For a short while anyway.

I am now on the second pair of a set of four pairs of brand new socks.  I am happy.  Little things are important.  Yesterday I was on my first pair, I began the day quite happy but it did not continue this way.  I got temperamental.  The socks didn't do their thing, their mojo had gone.  Today worked out OK so I have two more days left of likely happiness.  Who knows though, some things you can not rely on, missing or shrinking socks being the exception.

Clutter or not?

I used to collect films.  I got loads of them on DVDs but now they seem to just take up space.  The room looks untidy.  I got books as well.  Shelves of them all over the place, they collect dust and again look untidy but my attachment to knowledge is a perverse thing.  Something in a book has value.  I read it years ago and barely remember it now but thought it was important enough to hang onto.  Some of the books are text books.  They have facts and figures and tell you theories of things.  I haven't read them all.  In most cases it may only be a few chapters, but I respect what other knowledge there is in them and hold onto them in the possibility they could become useful at some other date.  But the reality is I rarely look at them.  Again years go past, dust collects.  I am probably a low level hoarder.  A person who likes to have things around him.  But this isn't entirely true because I have periods of throwing stuff out because it's become an eyesore and I need the space.

What am I to do?  I threw out a load of notes from years back only to regret it a few months later because I felt I should of read through them all.  What am I to do?  Clutter, clutter, clutter everywhere.  Maybe a book of matches would solve the problem.

A chilled afternoon with Layabout Lad

This afternoon was a chilled experience.  I arranged with Layabout lad to go for a drink and chit chat.  We began by meeting up and having a Chinese take away from one of the best local take aways.  I've tried them all so I know which is the best.  He choose a simple special dish which was fried rice, chips and a sweet and sour sauce on top.  I wouldn't of gone for such an option in nearly all circumstances, unless I was already drunk and substituted the sweet and sour for a curry sauce.  It's always good to carry about your own personal supply of salt sachets just in case.  Layabout hardly ate any of his and I advised him to tip it out on the grass.  A flock of about two hundred pigeons descended like crazed flesh starved zombies and in no time his pile of left over food was a memory to the grass it had restfully laid on.  I ate every bit of the Chicken in black bean sauce and fried rice my lunch consisted off.  It was lovely.  A fat squirrel also ventured out of a tree to see what the commotion was, but by this time the crowd of pigeons obscured what food was left.  He didn't stand a chance.  No left overs for fat boy squirrel.  It shouldn't of been so fat and maybe it would of got there a little earlier.  Sounds like a catch 22 situation to me. 

After lunch we went to the pub.  Layabout had to detour for twenty minutes as he had an interview with a dubious employment agency registered by the government.  He came back to a table with me and we chatted.  As the talk went on so did the time.  Five and a half hours later we decided to move off.  Things to do.  We were both amazed how quickly the time passed, both just chatting away over nothing in particular but enjoying the time together.  It's fortunate for me we are both lightweights in the drinking department so it didn't cost a great deal anyway.  Next stop was home and a cup of tea with crazy Momma. 

I did try and get Sparkling involved in a text conversation but I think her alarm antenna must of been raised.  She is careful not to talk to me when I an intoxicated.  Even though I had suggested she could talk to Layabout rather than me.  Shame.  It would of been nice to of had a couple of minutes, the full extent of my allowable chat time when speech is slow or a little slurred.  When you love someone you would think they would also be open to giving you time even when drunk.  But it don't work this way.  I know.  I'm afraid I also steer clear of phone calls or conversations with other drunks if I don't have a pint in my hand either.  The even wore on.  We saw Big Momma, had a cuppa tea then I escorted Layabout back home.  He was appreciative of the time out and the long chilled out chit chat.  It gave him a break, but it was equally relaxing for myself.  Another two or three cups of tea and I might be sobre enough to hit the hay.

The art of Fat Blogging

It seems when you stop writing blogs then you stop getting views.  Like the old blogs are not enough by themselves.  Even when I am writing new blogs the old ones get more hits than when I stop writing them.  And why did I stop for a short while?  I don't know I just did.  Sometimes things don't have explanations, or I know what they are but just don't want to write them down.  Hell if there isn't a loyal following then why should I delve into the inner workings of my mind.  Heck, it can take a day off, maybe more every once in a while.  So I have.

I see myself getting increasingly fatter and hate it happening.  Last time I went on a real diet which was hell it lasted months and I lost 17 pounds.  A pretty big sack of sand.  I'm even heavier than then and if I carry on at this rate I'll be getting fatter even more as each year passes.  Only to be reminded by copious TV programs about fat people slimming or the health implications of being overweight.  Diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol the lot.  Farting is the least of worries for fat people.  It's not just food it's alcohol consumption as well.  I wish I had a naturally high metabolism and didn't have to worry about these things.  It's unfair skinny people have high metabolisms.  I bet there's a lot of skinny people out there who want to be fatter but just cant.  They sit there with three or four hamburgers in front of them a few portions of fries and a large milkshake, they then wipe the plate clean and are none the fatter for it.  Poor bloody things.  Skinny people need to get a metabolism transplant and look a bit healthier.  Worse still are the ones who are skinny because they don't eat much.  It's like they have no appreciation of food.  Of how beautiful food is.  I see some skinny girls eat crisps (potato chips) one at a time as though the crisp is the most filling thing in the world, and is the most precious thing.  Heck, I an eat a whole bag of crisps in under a minute easy but these girls make their snack last at least thirty minutes.  Shame on them.  Life is to short to be so cruel to a bag of crisps, they were made to be eaten not admired.  Their very insubstantial nature means once you've had one bag you should have another or even go for the family size bag, the big one which is an aspiring hand bag.  No.  Some people don't respect food enough.  Food prices are going up every day, so you have to eat as much as you can before they go up again.  Go gorge should be the motto.  I read somewhere in a few years time meat will cost a week's wages.  All because China and India are becoming richer and want to eat more meat.  So eat it NOW.

So there are some good reasons for being slightly overweight, and substantial reasons.  All I need to do now is become a compulsive BLOGGER just as I am a compulsive stuff-my-face-eater and lover of food.  Now if only typing was as good an exercise as running, skipping, cycling or mountain climbing.  Wake up, it bloody well isn't.  Think I'll just console myself with a little snack.  Take my mind of it all.