Winter begins

Poor baby Fro or shall I say Baby J, has a virus, over the last night both baby and Rock Chick were lucky if they got two hours sleep. It must be wearing the both of them out. To the extent Rock was due to go out on a girls night out but her mummy duties completely took over. Poor things. Sparkling texted me, she was at work and was fretting. I could tell she wanted to be there, to try and help, and try to make things easier. After a visit to the docs they were told there was no choice but to let the thing run it's course. Awwe. I can just imagine what her wee face looked like, as Sparkling told me, she looked sorry for herself. It's amazing how much expressing a 4 month old baby can have, when she smiles though it is like the entire room smiles as well. I have seen fewer beautiful things, and think Baby J's smile must beat everything.  I'm sure in a couple of days time she will feel better. No wonder mums are given so much maternity leave, the fact is they need it.

So it is officially the first day of Winter. The clocks went back, and some of them went back without any help at all. Such as my smart phone. I suppose you don't get called a smart phone for no reason at all. In fact it fooled me, which isn't too difficult nowadays. Perhaps I should call myself dumb man instead.  I woke up, looked at the phone, thought to myself "is that all" and I've still got to turn it back. Listened to a little bit of radio and then realised it was the right time and I was being greedy wanting two hours instead of just the one.  Hell, it's dark, not quite 7 p.m. and pitch black outside. It was a rush to get out of the house and head to work.

This momentous first day of winter has come with a weather warning. One which has been on the news for the last four or five days. Torrential rain and near hurricane force winds are due to hit the south of England. This very moment we should be getting a house shaking. I think it may have decided to move further north than hit us poor southerners. We had it once in October 1987, but twice is not on the cards, no, give us sunny days and mild winters, we just can't take it. There's been more wind in this house after I've had a curry than there is at this moment.  Of course on an inside windy night it's always best to open the window not what I'd do on a weather windy night.

The days get shorter and another year wears on. Chrimbo is round the corner and the fat bearded man is wearing red again. I wonder if he has any wind problems?

A chat about a coloquial word, being 13, and humour

This afternoon I took Monster Boy out for a walk. He happened to mention his birthday is next week and he will be 13 years old. For a growing teenager it is amazing to reflect on the time which has passed. I like going for my walks with Monster, although I'll have to think of a new pseudonym for him as he is no longer the little boy of yesteryear and is becoming all worldly knowledgeable. Certainly in the realms of Star Trek, Star Wars and Marvel Superheroes anyway. It is so unfair such a bright young lad is disadvantaged by his upbringing, a family in poverty, depressive mum and alcoholic father. Well I  hope I bring a little bit of mad sanity, which is an oxymoron I know. Monster could not believe he would be 13 either, so I mentioned he had not yet walked around the lake with me and so still may not reach the age of 13. I had referred to his birthday in a non eventful manner and he pulled me up on it. So I put my arm over his shoulders and told him it was a very important time. It's my grumpy old man hat getting being put on when I should of been more cheerful.

He told me about an event which happened in class to do with colloquialisms. He asked what the word "knob"meant. They had been playing  a game where sitting in a circle each person took a turn to say a word which was in some way associated with the previous word. The words came, door, handle and he said knob. There was laughter from the group including his teacher who must of been overhearing. He was serious in his answer and didn't immediately understand. He knew the word "knob" was a colloquial word as well, but didn't fully appreciate it's meaning. So he asked his uncle, moi. I gave him my full interpretation of what it meant and also advised him he had unknowingly created a comic moment. In the fact he was serious in his answer and this was one of the truths of being funny. Saying something funny but being serious, or droll.

On the walk round the lake we came across a tree which had fallen over. It was as though it had been snapped near the base, how it happened I could not tell. There was no tell tale lightening strike. It was a beautiful work of art in a way. I took a picture of it with Monster standing next to it.

Next week he'll be 13 years old. Time as so flown. Flown like an arrow. I recall when Monster was only 5 years old and we sat at the back door eating ice creams. It was a hot day, sun out and beautiful, I said to him this was one of the most happiest days because we sat there together. He said it was good but it would of been better if Doctor Who was real. It's funny how such moments remain in memory for the rest of your life. Just as one of my other most important memories is sitting on a beach in Portugal, eating sardines on bread and looking out over the sea and a replica sailing ship. Sparkling Eyes was sat behind me. I thought this is such a beautiful relaxing view and place to be it must be made indelible. So I visit it once in a while. Of course Doctor Who wasn't there either. 

Another salad day, where's the rabbits

Today I made my own salad lunch, it was an achievement considering I wasn't particularly motivated. The rabbit side of me just wasn't present and chopping up all those bits and pieces took ages. I should of got up earlier, next time I'll just put a raw but cleaned carrot in the box for ease. I'm sure it has cut down on my calorie intake but I can't help the little naughty side come out. Like eating two packets of chrisps, having a Guinness in the pub and also two bourbon biscuits with a cup of tea this morning. It will be all these little extra things which will probably mean I've achieved absolutely nothing. The thing is it could all come down to buying food, if I buy less food then the less likely I'll eat it, but at the same time the desire to eat is great. Food is like air, I'm addicted to it, the worst thing of all is coming into autumn and winter months. At this time of year it is even more difficult to diet and lose weight. I've not seen many rabbits dieting in October, although there are probably a few which have been caught and put into stew pots. Come to think of it I've probably only eaten rabbit once in my life as a child, it was stew. I was told by my mother it was rabbit, my sisters didn't eat it either, the thought of Bright Eyes in a stew pot was pretty distressing. Saying this, it was a few years ago and those memories may not effect me now. There is even a curiosity as to what it would taste like now I'm more adult and much more carnivorous than I was those days. Well, except for the DIY salad lunch things. Hell there should be health warnings on chopping up a lettuce, along the lines of, "warning this product may not satisfy your greed by 5 p.m."

I wonder what real rabbits eat when they are on a diet. Then there are some pretty big rabbits about as well. Surely they can't all be nibbling away at carrots and lettuces all day long. Well, certainly not the fat ones, the real obese ones which are big and cuddly rabbits. They must be secret fast food addicts. I can see little but fat Harry the Rabbit in his hutch this moment, on the phone ordering a take away for one rabbit, probably chicken curry, a couple of poppadoms and some nann bread. He'll not order any rice on account of it bloats him and Harry to is conscious of what too many carbs do. After all he'll have an entire day of rabbit seeds to quietly tuck into. Or perhaps Harry prefers Chinese food instead, me and Harry would get on fine in this case.We'd sit and keep each other company, especially if it had to be done in secret so no one knew we were breaking a curfew.  Harry may indeed be someone I could swop recipes with and learn what the finer points to food preparation for vegetarians is, for example how to disguise a dozen rashers of streaky bacon with a few pulses. We all know vegetarians are only vegetarian so they can boast about it and when they are home behind closed doors they like their meet still dripping with blood. Harry sounds a bit evil now. In fact with those big teeth he's got and those long ears, in the right lighting he may well be mistaken for some nefarious character of the underworld.

Hey, not everything in fur is soft cuddly and loveable, but unfortunately you always know what you get with a lettuce.  Not much at all.

A beautiful October day

It's Sunday 6th October, by all rights the ground she be frosty, instead as I went out this morning there was a dew on the ground. It looked like frost but it was definitely a dew. The forecast was an unbelievable 20 degrees C, and so it actually was. The sun was low in the sky but it was bright and hard. I could hardly recognise what is a late autumn. Very late autumn. I got up early and decided to spend time with Monster Boy, who because in a short while he will be 13 is nearly no longer a boy at all and nearly a teenager. We did have a little debate about this, wondering at what actual age does a teenager begin to be a teenager. For some are wild earlier than 13 and others later. It is the stage when an individual starts the search to find out who they are and what they are. To date Monster Boy has been straight laced, but I can see the start of rebellion in him. Parents of course are the first point of rebellion, he has his own mind and he is a smart cookie. Unfortunately he still has an infatuation with Start Trek and Star Wars. I am sure now there is no particular hope for him and he will be a Sci Fi junkie and certainly a Trekky for the rest of his life. Even if he manages to live through his teenage years. Apparently he'd been advised he might not get to be a teenager by his brother, his dad and me. I'm sure he will and regardless, I enjoy him talking back to me and also making fun of me, just as I make fun of him.

We took a long walk, up a steep hill, along a main road and then around a lake. There was a lot of people about and although it was great to be out I must admit to being a selfish person and preferring to walk around the lake when there are fewer walkers. Today there were a lot of fair weather walkers enjoying the sun. We chatted all the way. Though I think Monster was not on top form, it seemed he was half tired and I felt a little guilty getting him out and about in such a state. He said he didn't mind. I'm glad I persuaded him not to wear his new trainers because they would of been killing him otherwise. We stopped in Tesco, then went into a cafe for a cup of tea which had suddenly got very busy as it was lunch time, then we left and headed home with a couple of bags of shopping.  The walk back was a little shorter.

At the end of my time with Monster I asked him what he liked and it seemed to be most of the walk. Except he chastised himself for not being able to come up with only 6 alternative ways in which you could help someone who didn't have the sense of smell, and stop them from being killed by a cloud of poisonous gas. It was an exercise in imagination you see and he got ten pence for every idea. I said it was a warm up so as to make him feel a little better and then gave him the challenge of naming ten uses for spaghetti, he came up with 8 uses so it showed he was certainly getting better. In the afternoon I gave him a short ukulele lesson and he laughed as he tried to strum a G chord getting his fingers tangled up. Taking him back home I gave him a slice of cheese I'd bought for him from the supermarket, a banana and a box of chocolate orange matchsticks. Not to mention he ate 8 chocolate biscuits with his glass of milk. He got home happy and as always it was good to see him smile and laugh. Should I now give him another name as soon he will no longer be a boy, even though he says he wants nothing to do with girls. Well, not just yet I'm sure, but I told him if he needed a few lessons I was here, and that my new girl friend was Rhianna. Yes, Kylie just isn't doing it for me at this time.

A pampered hair cut

This morning I planned for one thing, there were considerations but the one thing had to be done more than the others. To get my hair cut. It is simple enough getting hair trimmed but with the demands of six and seven day working weeks this can become difficult in itself. I chose to hit a different hair dresser. Not completely different, just a shop I'd been to a couple of years ago and stopped going.  Getting hair cut isn't like choosing a new car, you get a hair cut many times a year, so I choose to go where I choose to go. I'm not a slave to the habit of a single hair dresser. Further I don't like the idea of any hairdresser getting a bit over smug they got a constant and reliable customer go there. So I spread myself about, depending how I feel. If only it was as easy with going to the dentist, getting a hair cut is a hell of a lot less pain inducing.

So I tried a little bit of chat on the hair dresser but he didn't seem to want to engage a great deal. I think he was run off his feet. A trainee finished off my neck and just as I was about to get out of the chair it had been reclined and he said, he hadn't finished. Next was a hot towel over my face, which is a bit odd considering I have a beard still. Why on earth use a hot towel on my face. I tried to relax into it. He pressed the towel into my face, a glowing warmth permeated through. The relaxing bit wasn't so difficult. I kept my eyes shut and he removed the towel. Then a cream of some kind was put on my forehead and before I knew it my forehead and temples were being massaged. There was also the smell of some perfumed stuff. But hell I got a beard, which didn't seem to matter because he just spread it into my beard. I was starting to smell like a French tarts boudoir. The chair was raised into a sitting position then his fingers were massaging my neck and eventually my shoulders. What? This was good. More than attention than even Sparkling Eyes gives me, I mean she demands I do her feet but it's only like twice a year I ever get any kind of massage. Unless of course it happens to be the wooden massaging cow, then it's a quick run over my back and that's it. Blimey, this guy was doing a job or what. I liked it, but hell did I now smell.

I considering how perfumed I'd just become I decided to not get the bus, I'd of been the odd one out. Short, fat bearded man smelling like a whore on a hot date.  Feck, they should use non perfumed. It was nice though. I texted Sparkling and later had a very short conversation with her. She thought it was weird, and made aspersions. Hell, I didn't realise they could smell me in Scotland.

Three Salads

For three days I made my own lunch, each one was a tub of salad, the ingredients of which were bought on a Sunday. This is the start of healthy eating, of the new me, I'm fed up of feeling fat, uncomfortable and like nothing actually properly fits me. Except today I didn't eat a salad and went to the usual Chinese.  But for three days I ate food which had been grown from the ground. Food which even prepared still looked close to its natural state. Why did I break down? Tomorrow is a new day an new start, there isn't enough food there to make a day four of salad. I'll try and do something else. Hit the shops for a sandwich, made with salad instead of eating inside. Or maybe I could use my imagination, use the existing bits and pieces and see what turns out, it could be another vegetarian feast. Which makes me wonder, do vegetarians feast at all?  I shouldn't of eaten those three dark chocolate biscuits earlier, I need to get on the road again. The straight road not one which twists and turns, taking detours at every fast food place there is. Not one which desires a curry at the weekend. Exercise. This should not be a dirty word, yet it is something I don't do and heard on the radio most adults don't but yet this is the main ingredient to a healthy life, to living long, fighting all sorts of human illnesses. From cancer and heart disease to illnesses of the mind. That's it, it's all in the mind. When I see food I don't really need it, I am feeding the desire, but hell the desire to eat is a pretty strong one.

Got to think. When I die will they need six skinny men to carry my coffin or will it be a fork lift truck?  Exercise, it's almost like garlic to a vampire, hmm garlic is nice when mixed with ginger it's the basis of a lot of foods. Back to food again, how can this meandering stop?  Three salads, tomorrow lets make it a mixed salad sandwich, one day and I'll try to see it as a little blip, better than a big fat elephantine looking man.