Today I made my own salad lunch, it was an achievement considering I wasn't particularly motivated. The rabbit side of me just wasn't present and chopping up all those bits and pieces took ages. I should of got up earlier, next time I'll just put a raw but cleaned carrot in the box for ease. I'm sure it has cut down on my calorie intake but I can't help the little naughty side come out. Like eating two packets of chrisps, having a Guinness in the pub and also two bourbon biscuits with a cup of tea this morning. It will be all these little extra things which will probably mean I've achieved absolutely nothing. The thing is it could all come down to buying food, if I buy less food then the less likely I'll eat it, but at the same time the desire to eat is great. Food is like air, I'm addicted to it, the worst thing of all is coming into autumn and winter months. At this time of year it is even more difficult to diet and lose weight. I've not seen many rabbits dieting in October, although there are probably a few which have been caught and put into stew pots. Come to think of it I've probably only eaten rabbit once in my life as a child, it was stew. I was told by my mother it was rabbit, my sisters didn't eat it either, the thought of Bright Eyes in a stew pot was pretty distressing. Saying this, it was a few years ago and those memories may not effect me now. There is even a curiosity as to what it would taste like now I'm more adult and much more carnivorous than I was those days. Well, except for the DIY salad lunch things. Hell there should be health warnings on chopping up a lettuce, along the lines of, "warning this product may not satisfy your greed by 5 p.m."
I wonder what real rabbits eat when they are on a diet. Then there are some pretty big rabbits about as well. Surely they can't all be nibbling away at carrots and lettuces all day long. Well, certainly not the fat ones, the real obese ones which are big and cuddly rabbits. They must be secret fast food addicts. I can see little but fat Harry the Rabbit in his hutch this moment, on the phone ordering a take away for one rabbit, probably chicken curry, a couple of poppadoms and some nann bread. He'll not order any rice on account of it bloats him and Harry to is conscious of what too many carbs do. After all he'll have an entire day of rabbit seeds to quietly tuck into. Or perhaps Harry prefers Chinese food instead, me and Harry would get on fine in this case.We'd sit and keep each other company, especially if it had to be done in secret so no one knew we were breaking a curfew. Harry may indeed be someone I could swop recipes with and learn what the finer points to food preparation for vegetarians is, for example how to disguise a dozen rashers of streaky bacon with a few pulses. We all know vegetarians are only vegetarian so they can boast about it and when they are home behind closed doors they like their meet still dripping with blood. Harry sounds a bit evil now. In fact with those big teeth he's got and those long ears, in the right lighting he may well be mistaken for some nefarious character of the underworld.
Hey, not everything in fur is soft cuddly and loveable, but unfortunately you always know what you get with a lettuce. Not much at all.
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