In an effort to get some Polish currency I went into a money changing shop, to my disappointment it would take at least 48 hours and the minimum exchange was £750.00, which was a bit more than I had anticipated to change in the first place. In this case it looks like when I and Sparkling hit Poland I'll not have any Polish money. I don't know how to pronounce the currency but it sounds something like "slottsky" I have never been to Poland before but I once used to collect Polish stamps. I don't know why I just liked them, in fact I still have my collection somewhere. They are a few years old but probably worthless. Funny when I was a kid I used to add up the pennies of all the stamps in a self evaluation to work out their value. They are not of any real value, it turns out it is the collecting which is the fun part and admiring them. It's not a big collection, but it's mine. There used to be a cafe I would go to at the weekends with some friends. It was run by an Egyptian man and his wife a Polish woman. They were nice people. He sold the business off at some point and they vanished from my world. As the Buddhists say, the world is in a constant stated of change. Which certainly goes for people as well.
Warm, friendly and happy people are a wonder to meet. When I look back on my life they stand out. My gran and grandad for instance. They were always happy welcoming people. It is such a stability in a child's life to have warm extended family. There were also uncles, but most of them sadly did not take an active part or show affection so much. I don't know why. It has even vexed me how one uncle who's wife decided they were not going to have children never really got involved with his nephews and nieces. For some reason he and his wife preferred their friends to their own family. In my mind even if your family is crazy they are blood and so they are important. You are there for them. OK you might have a really nutty brother or sister but in turn they will have children and those are wonderful little creatures with their own personalities. I am so happy when I meet my nephews and nieces, my only regret is they live too far away. Families should be within four or five miles of each other to enable a better supporting network. As my lost uncle has decided to disown his family I learn to get over it. But I would love to just sit down with him and chat. To ask why he abandoned his siblings and the relationships he should of had with his nephews and nieces, perhaps to put my mind at ease or to challenge him, put some blame on him. Going back to my learning the lessons of how to change myself. I need to get over it. He has the freedom to choose just as I have the freedom to also let it go, get over it. Not everybody feels the same about family as an important thing. If I can do just a small bit in showing I care for the younger ones of my family, then hopefully one day as they get older, they to will look back on me with affection and tenderness. With a bit more lucky they will laugh to themselves at something I would of said and know they loved me.
Sparkling Eyes is my mate. Her daughter Rock Chick is as close as I'll get to having a daughter. She is intelligent, funny and very much a girly, girl. She also has taken on the attributes of Sparkling with her wicked sense of humour. Although I have been an intermittent presence in their life's, I hopefully have given time and shown love and affection to the both of them. Sparkling is in my eyes the most beautiful, warm loving and opinionated woman in the world. I know because if she has a opinion on something I'm going to get to hear about it. lol.
I must be going through a thoughtful introspection period. Weighing up myself and the psychological processes which are part of me. It's like I am on a treadmill but someone has been controlling the pace of the rubber belt as it revolves round. I'm fed up with this, so all this thinking about stuff is a way of wrestling back my own existence. Evaluation shit and stuff. You have to stand outside of yourself and look outside in. Recently I have been thinking about my re-actions to things which are said to me, for everything we say to another person gives away what we are like and also provokes a judgement. I'd just love to give up making judgements on everything and be unconditional in everything which is said to me. It doesn't always happen I know. I read once, if you want to become like a certain person, then act like them, think what they might do in a situation and then do it. Providing they are a good role model your reactions could mimic a great leader, a respected statesman, or even a cheeky chappy.
No comments:
Post a Comment