Most days I get up and go to work. There is a routine and although not always clockwork it is predictable. Wake up, breakfast, wash up, public transport, work and this is it. Day after day, week after week and then the occasional stray off the beaten track and again back on it. So it goes. Another thing which is predictable is a comfort zone which is barely ever infringed. The work place is somewhere very familiar so there is no situation which really steps into the discomfort zone. To be frank it is all becoming a bit boring and easy and non testing or just overly predictable; there's the word again. The circle is small, it is very small and maybe it is a thing with age maybe it is a thing with personality, I just don't have someone to fall back on other than those already many years familiar with. I've even joked in a blog previously to consider advertising for a friend. Maybe it is a sign of loneliness or a sign of needing to reach out.
At work I am a manager, and although I'd love to reach out to some of my colleagues there's always in the back of my mind the niggling thought they are only talking to me because I am a manager, so they have to rather than they don't have to. Yes this may be cynical but it must be the same for anyone who is a manager in a workplace. For although it is good to be on friendly terms with staff there are times when it is necessary to take actions which must be in accordance with HR policies. For example give someone a formal sickness interview. It is so much harder to undertake such interviews when over familiar. Manager's therefore should not be too touchy feely with their staff, and of course there is always the issue of confidentiality. You have to be conscious of anything said which might be considered judgemental and therefore get back to the individual you have been talking about. Even if it happens you are talking to another manager. Some staff don't take kindly if it is necessary to talk to them formally, they get upset and then you become the evil monster. Putting pressure on them. i.e. advising them their sick will be formally monitored for the next year and if it is unacceptable then they will move to a stage two formal sickness procedure. This is again a burden of management, but even with these aspects I love my job. I do am confident when things get formal but I am also considerate of the individual allowing them time and space to question me in any way they feel they must. Doing everything I can to be transparent. Again this is all work and it does not really take me into the discomfort zone.
In search of finding the discomfort zone I have to start speaking to people I don't know. The dreaded stranger. Now and again articles arise on the web and are worth reading or watching. Such as a Ted Talk by Kio Stark who has written a books on this subject, very close to her heart. When Strangers Meet: How people you don't know can transform you. I would like to talk to strangers and meet more people I have never known before. It is a little odd for only a few weeks ago I went with Sparkling Eyes to a funeral. It was someone who she met at a cancer charity event some years ago and had unfortunately succumbed to terminal illness. During the Humanist ceremony (which was lovely) the speaker said the deceased person saw strangers as friends they had not met yet. This person I'd never met before in my life had reached out and spoken words like they were on a personal post card with my name written on it.
However, life is not just a matter of understanding the message it is also a matter of acting on it.
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