Saturday, October 10, 2020

Shrinking Socks

Princess J is now 7 years old, she's big and she tells me she is old. I'll not say otherwise because in this household she is a Princess and she is also the boss. I have to do everything she tells me to do and sometimes I might not like to do it, but I still do my best to follow her instructions. Until the moment Sparkling Eyes rescues me and says I should not be acting like a doggy. Instead I'll eat the left over ice cream lolly Princess J can no longer stomach, it's handed over to me with the words "do you want this?" Lovely I think as the chocolate cornetto is devoured. Now if only I can remember next time not to get an ice lolly for myself because I've now had one and a half and that waist line isn't getting any smaller. Without knowing it she's a little feeder.

One thing about Princess is she wears small socks. On account of only being 7 years old. They would be small of course and as she's a pretty energetic sort of girl, running jumping and generally playing with joy as often as possible so her socks get dirty. I know this. I've seen them, at the end of the day a beautiful light pair of pink socks becomes very dirty with the soles approaching a dark pink come black. What gets me though is the size of her socks, the small size and this in turn is starting to reflect in my own socks.


It was only two weeks ago I bought 7 pairs of socks, each pair has the day of the week on them. Being a rebel this is not something to take much notice of, whatever pair comes to hand is the ones which will be worn that day. Some of these new socks have now been washed and I'll occasionally reach in the draw and pull out a pair. Except now they have shrunk to such as size they could easily be worn by Princess J. If they shrink any further then she'll not be able to wear them but her somewhat smaller 3 year old brother could. After having a show I pick up my socks and then it is like a tug-of-war trying to pull them over the toes and onto my foot. Now this is a problem I've got with T-shirts on account of them shrinking simultaneously as my belly gets bigger so the large t-shirt is now replaced by an extra large t-shirt. The remaining t-shirts I put on but I must admit they are a bit of a close fit and this 8 month pregnancy look doesn't do me any favours. Luckily I'm married not to Sparkling and she'll not go running off with a younger model. She actually likes the older fat dude, probably on account she's a feeder as well. Perhaps I should not be such an eater and the belly will reduce a little. Returning back to the issue of socks, what can be done to solve this problem? 

Maybe it's the manufacturers, they could be using a cheaper cotton, one which shrinks. Maybe it is my feet, maybe on account of getting fatter my foot size is also swelling up. Now there is a little truth to this as my shoe size has increased a little. Yet again I believe it is related to the manufacture of shoes and trainers but this evidence is now coming at me thick and fast. Bigger t-shirts, bigger shoes heavier weight on the talking scales which scream out "ya fat bastard" but ever so politely. No, my socks really are shrinking and they really are small enough Princess J could put them on except they are not the colour she'd normally wear. She likes unicorns and princesses and doggies. She also likes her Pops but I'm sure there's no such thing as a Pops sock she could put on. Sparkling though she loves so much it hurts when she doesn't see her. Awwe.

So what is the answer to the ever decreasing socks?

 

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