Fact, it takes more than 30 days to learn the Ukulele

There are web sites and tutorials claiming it is possible to learn the ukulele in 30 days, of course proving participants are naive enough to believe this and then fish deep into their pockets for the cost of these on line lessons.  Here is a fact, unless you have prior experience with another string instrument, it is not possible to learn at an accelerated pace how to place the ukulele in 30 days.  Just as a little man I met in Gdansk said to me. It is generally agreed in music terms you only start to get any good once you have dedicated 10,000 hours of doing something.  The little fella I'm speak about is a professional opera singer and a musician, and Sparkling thinks he looks like Johnny Depp and insisted on calling him Johnny Depp as well. He didn't seem to mind at all. I must admit he appeared a little eccentric, but he also seemed to be a nice enough man. 

I began teaching myself, with the help of Youtube how to play the ukulele on the 25.12.12., it was this Christmas Day when Sparkling finally got me the instrument after a lot of pretty heavy hints.  I'd wanted to play it for months and months prior.  There have been days when I have failed to pick it up, but those days are pretty few. My passion for playing and learning the ukulele just continues without fail.  It is therefore 14 months of playing.  Yet every time I pick it up and look at a video I will learn something new, just as I am still learning the chords because it really does take a lot of practice to switch from one chord to the next. At the moment I'm in a phase of learning and transitioning from various different chords to the E chord.  It's a barre chord and requires a bit of finger gymnastics to get right.  The fact I am still learning and I will continue to learn to play this instrument and continue to learn more and more about music as I go along doesn't perturb me, it is exciting.  I don't want to learn to play the ukulele in 30 days, I know it will take years to be what I'd think is proficient but I don't care. However, if there are people out there thinking they can just pick up this beautiful little instrument and learn it in a few days then they are completely mistaken.  It doesn't just take a little bit of talent, it takes a whole lot of practice. Especially if you are coming from a place of zero music background other than listening to songs through the media.

However, all this said, of all the instruments in the world, if you want to pick one up and be able to play a tune in a short period of time then the ukulele is your instrument.  You'll feel immediately good because there will be something you will recognise, something which does actually sound like the music you wanted to mimic. Be aware though, this is mostly a method of rote learning it will not mean you'll know how to read music. It will not mean you actually understand what 4/4 time is or 3/4 times is either. To be truthful these things only come with practice.  It is possible to play a tune within an extremely short period of time when you have this little instrument in your hands, but it doesn't mean you can do much else with it.

So if someone hasn't said it before, give the little jumping flea a little respect and don't kid yourself you're Elvis Presley after 30 days because the King will come back and give you an arse whipping for sure.

Sometimes you just have to cry

I don't know why it is but out of nowhere I am suddenly entrenched in emotions.  Not particularly happy ones either, it's listening to sad songs which does it.  Yet, I like those songs, they are good.  Funny though the other day as I was walking from the station to the Fish Factory I kept having a song go round and round in my head and I was enjoying it as well. It was from the Sound of Music. Bloody ell. What is happening to me?  The normal reaction of most men to songs from musicals is to vomit, I did say most. It is a cardinal rule unspoken amongst men, but it goes like this.  If there is a musical on TV, turn it over, if you can't walk out of the room and do something more interesting, such as playing with an electric drill, a saw, a wrench, or immerse yourself in hard man literature.  Some would say this includes sport, most would gravitate to football, but personally I don't find either of these options stimulating and on a similar par to listening to a musical.  Yet, there I was walking up the road, bloody tune going around in my head and on the point of singing it. Which would of been possible as there wasn't many people around and it was very windy.  The wind has a noise to it which would cover any vocals.  Where the hell did this music come from? I sure don't know, it was almost like it had been implanted into my head and it included an attitude of liking it as well. I really don't know what is happening to me.

So this evening catching up on some Youtube music videos, and venturing to listen to an artist I hadn't come across before I enjoyed the songs and felt weepy.  Could this be symptomatic of something else I ask myself. I know it is a fact, no matter man or woman sometimes you just have to cry.  Because crying is the only thing which will release all those chemicals in your blood stream which have to come out through the tear ducts, this I am sure is a scientific fact.  I read it somewhere, though if pushed to quote the source I wouldn't be able to say. It then become a matter of literally going with the flow, letting it all out, although probably not in a loud sobbing like manner because this would draw way too much attention. A man crying is bad enough but to do it with people taking concern or paying attention isn't the done thing. Not when there isn't any particular reason, just the old tear ducts getting a bit over full and needing an empty. It's a physical need, just like going to the toilet.  Yes, once in a while it is good for you.  Let the floods flow forth from your eyes because you need it. At this point it is good to disguise the crying urge by watching some soppy film and pretending it was on TV and you couldn't be half arsed to turn the channel over.  There must be men who have done this before but obviously don't stick the hand up and shout it out. The thing is having a good weep is not a thing the average man likes to draw attention to if they can help it.  Being a Fanny as they say in Scotland is one good reason for not doing it. It's OK to be called a Fanny for something else, but not because you been shedding a tear to a track you like on the radio.  Which is another reason why men always prefer to show they like rock music or stuff which is heavy.  You can't cry if your doing a bit of head banging, because the two just don't go together, not at the same time anyway.

It's been a couple of hours now and it is all out of my system.  When I think about why it is I understand the reasons. It's because I wanted to skype Rock Chick and see Princess J, but the bloody thing wasn't working so I just gave up on it. There is something about the Skype software I haven't liked ever since I loaded the program on my laptop.  Lets just say it's a piece of crap in my opinion and msn messenger was better.  Anyway back to the action packed movie I was about to watch, and hopefully a few testosterone hormones to come with it.

Cabin Fever is a good moan

There is no doubt about it, the impact of doing the 1000 word a day challenge is effecting my BLOGs. I can only do one thing at a time, although in the Fish Factory I'm expected to do about thirty things at once. Walking sideways with multiple brooms up my arse is a common sight and not a pretty one. The only reason I am writing now is because I've been stuck in the house all day long and am getting my own version of Cabin Fever.

Sparkling was the one to diagnose it, all I'm doing is having a moan at other members of the family who I don't get on with and wish were not my family.  There should be a rule of fact relatives know.  It is, you might be family but we got nothing else in common and we will dislike each other in some cases our entire lives.  The thing is having a good moan once in a while is a uniquely human thing to do, for there will always be something which gets under your skin. Something which enrages and makes blood boil. It doesn't have to be a big thing either. As Sparkling would say with my habit of not putting a tea towel in exactly the right place it should be. Then when I spy the tea towel not where it should be and it wasn't me then I don't say a thing.  Because I know what is good for me, which includes keeping my trap shut. Whereas when I am the culprit I will be given a formal reprimand and possibly the dreaded finger point. It's like the finger point is women's Kung Fu. It can be jabbed through the heart, eye or kidneys of a man with accuracy, speed and effectiveness even Grasshopper would acknowledge.

Now it's time to go to bed and I'm awake and watching Political news videos, well then looks like I'm going to be shit in the morning as well.

Two habits, not quiet a third and the farts

The 1000 word a day challenge has now reached day 17, it's surprising how fast it goes, but it certainly is a challenge and leaves me with little energy to write a here.  Which is my excuse anyway.  I now have two regular things I do each evening. One write a 1000 words and two play on Harvey.  I should really fit in there a third which would be some kind of exercise to get fit, lose weight and be healthier.  However there just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day. However, the reminder comes and slaps me in the face every time I put on a particular shirt which used to fit me but doesn't now. Especially around the waist where I can feel a tight pull.  I'm hoping eating chilli with your food speeds up metabolism, being on account it is spicy and fire like.  So maybe my stomach kicks into overdrive.  However at the rate I eat it looks like my breakfast, lunch and dinner should be nothing but bowls of chilli vegetables.  I blame the chilli sauce in my chicken noodle soup today for the farts.  Sparkling will be glad I'm not near her. Mind her occasional sinus problem is useful and avoids me having to worry about being told off for farting. It's got to be an age thing, and a food thing.  I'll have to check out micro bacteria yoghurt things maybe they will help.