Noise

One thing frustrates me when I am at work or trying to concentrate on something at all, is noise. People chattering inanely about subjects, as close as you can get to watching paint dry. In the meantime having no consideration to those around them who may not want to listen and get on with work. Namely me. Perhaps I have a sensitivity to it, just something I've been unfortunately cursed with, how can I lift the curse I ask myself.

I try everything possible to make it obvious, stick my fingers in ears while sitting at desk trying to read the monitor. But the talkers don't seem to notice this, it's like they not only don't give a damn about their verbal diarrhea but also they've gone blind, as well as autistic. I go to the shops and get a frequent supply of ear plugs. Bright orange foam things they are, and in the worse moments I get my ear plugs in, roll them up squeeze them and stuff them in my ears. As the foam expands they filter out some of the din. But it's like the human voice is processed too well by the brain, because I still hear them. I can't get the voices out of my head. They're not in my head, they're in the mouths and the heads of those around me who can't shut up. How they could all do with a Willy Wonker everlasting Gobbstopper methinks.

So people sitting around me dictate how much work I do. My in tray gets bigger. I get more stressed, and they carry on chatting. I could go absolutely crazy.

More and more I notice how noise impinges on my senses. Just getting up in the morning and going to work, the noise of cars, busses, trains, people talking loudly on their mobile phones, youths with music on the mobiles playing enough to be annoying because you just can't work out what the music is. Sometimes when they do this I may loudly hum along to their music, so they might feel uncool. And of course the banal conversation of people who have nothing better to do but moan about the price of bread. At times like this I could take out my mobile phone and talk loudly, swear, or talk as though I have something important they might be interested in, for example the price of flour makes the price of bread go up but I'm a chemical engineer and we've found substitute flour works just as well. But unfortunately let it out trials of the substitute flour tested on volunteers have made them run round naked and think they were DoDo birds. Just make up any story, as long as I'm talking loud and drown out their inane chatter. And of course I'm talking to no one, but they are not to know.

Noise pollution is something no one can get away from. It is forced upon us, there is no shutter like an eyelid to pull down and keep it out. The only time it goes away is when asleep or in a quiet place, preferably with few people.

So next week I am going to have a party for one. Sit at my desk, sing to myself, chat to myself quite loudly and openly and answer myself. Shout, cry, ball, laugh uncontrollably act in a strange and unormal fashion. And with a little luck, I just might make those people around think I am mad or possibly dangerous to the extent they shut up. Thing is, the men in white coats will come along and drag me off, not because I'm disturbing the peace because there never is any peace but most likely because whatever one sided conversation I'm having is more interesting than those 2 or more people have. Or just maybe they'll find a nice quite room for me.