Symptoms of falling to pieces

The last few days I think I been falling to pieces.  An arm here, a foot there.  Just dropping off all over the place.  Its littered with bits of me.  I no longer look the whole man I used to be, on account of the bits which have fallen off.  I have just began to realise it this evening, but otherwise it was difficult to tell.  It's like standing in crap.  When trodden in there isn't an immediate smell, it takes a moment or two as you are walking along to realise there is something untoward following you.  A stink.  At this point you understand where it has come from.  Unless you just happen to have a bad case of the runs and didn't run quick enough to the closest loo.  I recall a story L & B man told me about when he got caught for speeding his car.  He desperately needed to relieve his bowels.  Not vowels, bowels.  He was lucky he didn't crap himself while he was being given a ticket.  Though I must admit the story was amusing, it was the way he told it.  I now recognise the signs.  I have not been completely on form.  On account of having fewer body parts, they're scattered about the house.  I don't know if it was the royal shedding, or whether it was the prospect of having a nice long weekend, which continues with tomorrow as well.  My body has just shut down.  There has been no get up and go but more rather of lets sit down not move or do a thing and slob out.  Stuffy nose, loss of motivation, sneezing.  Unless it's hay fever, which I have never had.  It might be.  Who knows.  I don't.  So I've been falling apart, my body has been fighting back and saying it has had enough and wants to rest.  Do nothing.  My mind probably joined in at some point as well, but as with the standing in crap it's taken a day or two to realise it.

Tomorrow I'll try and pick up some of the pieces, motivation prevailing I hope.  Check out the corner shop for some body superglue.  Then put myself back together, in one piece.  All will be fine then.  Unless I forget my left from my right, or what direction it is best to screw my head on.  It's clockwise, I'm sure it is. OK one more day of holiday left.  I can do it.  As the saying goes "pull yourself together man," damn, better hope all the bits are there otherwise that saying might have to be changed.