Broken phones and a little about the Ukulele

For some reason Sparkling's phones are not working when she talks to me. In the last two days we have been cut off about four times in mid conversation and then she blames the phone for not working. Whether it is the  house phone or her mobile. A normal person would think she is trying to avoid me but I know this is not true. However, Rock Chick did try and wind me up by saying it was purposeful. Sparkling says she is a techno phobe, and just does not know how to work new things, especially phones. As the phone is on the blink anyway I have ordered her  a new one. It's another cordless phone and is German. The German's make good long lasting things and in this case it will be easy to use as well. So the reviews advised. Perfect for the techno phobe, even if the techno phobe says it's because they are too hot. Fortunately this phone has been tested at all sorts of temperatures, or so the advertising video had me believe. So regardless my darling I will get to talk to you.

My BLOGs have been on the decline lately because I'm spending a lot of time playing Bertha (Ukulele). Again it seems the singing bit is the most difficult thing to do. Most of the songs I pick from Youtube tutorials and they are easy and catchy ones. It's just a matter of keeping rhythm, changing chords and singing, other than that I got the hang of it, mostly. I heard on the radio this morning the Ukulele is in the Guinness book of records for being the easiest instrument to learn. Oh yes, forgot to say my strumming pattern needs a bit of work on as well. I do think this is true, it is easy enough to get a tune out of it, but whether it sounds any good, is in time and whether my own vocals are complimentary is another matter altogether quite different. I read an article about one young lad who decided to do Europe during his study break and took a Ukulele with him. He said although it was cheap it helped him make friends pretty quickly. People seemed to like him and accept him on ready terms because he was carrying his little instrument around with him. And although it was a cheapo it was well worth every penny and he seemed to have a fondness for what it did. Even cheap things have a place in life. Better to if they make you smile.  I like this idea, odd how such a simple small thing can be such an ice breaker. I'll have to put in a few more hours and get a couple of songs of by heart. Even if my own voice is out of key. Someone may just like them.

Talking about torture, I hope to see Sparkling again in the next week or two and can treat her to an extended evening of song. Maybe she wont see it as torture this time round and not need to drink so many glasses of wine. But a little alcohol does make my singing and playing sound better as well. Or so I think. I can't wait to see her and now it's a matter of organizing the dates. I'll also get to see Rock and see her big belly as little Baby Fro begins to impose herself on the world. The weeks and days are now on count down. I wonder if babies can hear Ukulele's before they are born? They must do.  Problem is Rock isn't much of a convert when it comes to Bertha, she threatened to wrap Bertha round my head. It must be the pregnancy thing, it just makes women a bit emotional. Anyway, fingers crossed I'll be up in Scotland soon. Yep, better get a bit more practice in, I'll need it.

Stress busting

The pressures of working at the Fish Factory have been high, but as though in some kind of anti-hero to the notion of stress I've decided to be even calmer and more relaxed. To accept them and just do what I can. It's like everybody must have a piece of the action and they all think I am the action thing to have a piece off. Little fishes pester me with questions and throw their own stresses at my direction. They pass on problems, called passing the monkey to those in the know. The monkey then clings to my own back rather than their own. When seeing other people react to pressures they are under a different part of personality comes out. How they act, or rather react as the situation takes them over and their nerves go a jingle-jangle like. One Fish came up to me, sat down and was on the edge of a precipice. I kept it calm sat and listened to what they had to say, even though they had interrupted my own flow of work. Something I've learnt is another person's problem is always the most important thing in the world. Much more important than your own. To the extent they are wrapped up in it, just like the outer layer of a deep fried pancake roll. As another monkey was passed to me, I sat an did a Buddha like contemplation.  The more I relaxed the easier it was to find a solution to the problem.  This attitude in turn had an effect on the Little Fish, they gradually got de-stressed and it was easier to deal with them.  Stress is a contagious feeling but equally calmness can be a contagious thing.  Besides being calm there is another walnut cracker which works well. One even Witchdoctors keep under their hat, it's powerful magic, very powerful. It is, humour. Whether being droll, sarcastically funny or just plain funny, it will do the trick.  Well in most cases it can, it may be difficult with those who have little in the way of a sense of humour. The ones who you speak to and instantly wish today it would of began better had you just stayed in bed.

It is all a matter of personality, some people are able to cope with the pressures of life, others have learnt how to deal with it. Dealing with stress is 99 percent dealing with your own attitude to stress. Learn from others I'd say, but ensure those you learn from are good examples. In my family I have a lot of bad examples of personalities, rather than learn from them I find they can then sap energy from my own reserves. To the point it is worth not even speaking to them or avoiding them. They will get a little of my time and then it is over. In some cases it is not possible to undo what has been a life time of depression, anxiety and emotional vampirism. Not even hard core therapy could dent. Ultimately we are all responsible for our own mental health, learning to relax in even the most confrontive of situations is probably the ultimate in black belt stress busting.

There is a new abbreviation out. It is YOLO (you only live once). If we were to take this to heart in every interaction a lot would change in your own personality. I heard it said Samuri would think about dying everyday. They would consider being killed in a variety of situations, it was  a matter of getting used to the thought and confrontation of an inevitability, certainly present in the line of work they had.  This was one of the exercises which would make them more able to cope with life, and personally I think they were probably quite light hearted people.

Every evening when I head home after work, I look forward to an important part of the night. It is picking up Bertha (Ukulele) and giving her a strum. OK she can give my finger tips pain, she occasionally goes out of tune when her strings have been changed, but she gives me a weird pleasure. Playing Bertha is like having a hit of some kind of happiness drug.  The next step in my progression is learning to sing along with her. Now, my timing is pretty crap, and my singing is pretty crap, and my memory of learning words to songs is also pretty crap.  when I put all of these things together and try a verse or two of a song the result is hilarious, well, it's hilarious to me. I sit there and just laugh. The other night I was laughing so much there was tears in my eyes. I rang up Rock Chick and played a verse to her, she thought I was drunk at first, I wasn't, I was plain happy.  Rock laughed as well. I said little Baby Fro would love this music, and indeed she will once she hears it. Rock will know Baby Fro has been suitably minded when she's been left to sleep in company of Bertha and myself.

Oh what a wonderful world this can be.

A look at Baby Fro

I've been lazy the past couple of weeks, not writing in this diary. But usually it's down to getting the right feeling at the right moment and having the time to do it. It's not like my life has been completely uneventful, although mostly everyday is similar to the next, but there is usually some kind of news which comes from somewhere which is worthy of comment.

For example, Rock Chick's 4D scan. Or rather 3D but the company who do pregnancy scans calls it 4D. It must be some kind of gimmick. The last time I heard of the fourth dimension was from a story called the Time Machine. I'm sure there is no such thing as a time hopping baby, but it is an interesting thought. So, Rock Chick, Dangerous Sports Lad and Sparkling Eyes took a train journey from the East of Scotland to the West. Glasgow to be precise. There they had an appointment with a scan machine. The one thing they neglected to do was to tell Little Baby Fro it was picture time, if anything like Rock she'd need time to compose herself in the appropriate way and give a beautiful big smile. Taking on another trait which Rock has, Fro decided it was a day just to lay in bed and sleep. As Rock lay there the woman ran the scanner over her belly and the Fro as if wanting to keep the world out just put her arms over her face in the classical foetal position, curled up all lovely and warm, not wanting to play football or anything, awwe, she was quite comfortable. The scanning assistant advised they go for a walk, or maybe drink some fizzy drink.So they did, they tried again. Yet again though Fro was not being helpful, so Rock threw in a few star jumps as well. The situation was desperate as the assistant doing the scanning would of rather given them back their money than do her job.  Eventually a dozen or so pictures were taken and a couple of short videos. There is one picture I have where Fro is showing her face, but she really is taking no notice at all of the world and slept happily during the entire event.  I saw this photo and was overcome with emotion and happiness, she is the most beautiful baby I have seen. Of course every baby in the world is the most beautiful, but to me Fro was definitely the most beautiful baby in the world. I believe from the out start Fro is going to be a handful for Rock, because like Rock, Fro doesn't believe in doing what other people want her to do and does her own thing, in her own time. With luck she will take on the calming side of Dangerous's demeanour rather than his drama queen side. She is beautiful and I so can not wait to say hello and be called pops. Sparkling is also very happy to be a glamorous nanny. To the point she will be doing a cat walk for a cancer research fund raiser. This is a very wonderful and special time for all of us, and it's so good Fro is just taking it in her stride.

Sparkling was not happy with the assistant who admitted to hating her job. Which is a disappointing thing at a precious moment in the lives of all those looking on. In her get back way, Sparkling has now written a very long email of complaint and vows to send it every day if she does not get a reply. I gave her some advise, and suggested she track down the Chairman, and Chief Executives of the company, for these sorts of people hate to be bothered by their customers complaining. They will do their best to avoid them and then usually do their best to make up for it. I bloody well hope so.

So my beautiful baby Fro, I am going to hold up to you a glass and say welcome to this world, I'll also write a little book on life's lessons for you. It won't be attached to your umbilical cord because there has been a gene invented to make you wise. At least you will be loved very much and happy.

Bertha is singing - You are my sunshine

I can not believe how loud and beautiful Bertha (Ukulele)is now singing to me. I've had her for over a month now and when first researching about ukuleles, the one common piece of information wast to re-string it with anything other than the one it came with. But, I wanted to play Bertha for myself, learn how she moves just as she was when Sparkling Eyes got her for me. She has been doing fine, or so I thought. However, I'd got this set of strings even before I was given Bertha and had them ready. Now I've changed the old ones and put the new ones in. They are Aquila and are made with a synthetic gut called Nygut. It's supposed to be as close you can get to proper gut strings, which I'm not sure whether they are used nowadays or not. To help me with the stringing I watched a few youtube vids and then had a go. Unlike the vids which indicate it should take no more than an half an hour at most, I took an hour and a half. But it was fiddly and I'm not used to pulling strings, although I'm sure some people would say I can do this and pull legs as well. Now as I strum Bertha she holds her sound like an Alpine mountain returning an echo, it is a beautiful vibration. I love the sound. I wouldn't say I love Bertha, I like her a lot, because love should only be for people and mine is for Sparkling (don't reach for the puke bag). Bertha has now found extra  voice, it is like she has grown the vocal chords of Hercules all in a small black soprano. I almost swoon when she sings. It's lovely.

So in homage to the new strings I have been trying to sing along with Bertha. If someone were to walk into my room and see me they would think "crazy man" and probably be true. As I don't know the words I've written them down and the song doesn't seem so long so the agony of hearing an out of tune voice with an in tune Ukulele is shall I say, unique. I strum the strings, (in calypso beat) start the count which is 4/4 and jump in with song. It is hilarious, it is so funny I keep stopping and laughing at myself. I can not believe the racket I am making as against all those wonderful vocalists who play along with their ukulele's and do manage to sing "you are my sunshine." The words of which I am realising are completely different to what I thought they were, except for the chorus.

The other night dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head and I cried.

[Chorus]
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

I'll always love you and make you happy,
If you will only say the same.
But if you leave me and love another,
You'll regret it all some day:

[Chorus]

You told me once, dear, you really loved me
And no one else could come between.
But now you've left me and love another;
You have shattered all of my dreams:

[Chorus]

In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me
When I awake my poor heart pains.
So when you come back and make me happy
I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away.

It is strange how the time I spend with Bertha seems to fly by. I concentrate on the chords, I concentrate on the strumming pattern, examine with seriousness why a string doesn't quite sound the way it does when plucked. Adjust technique, try again, a little better, check the tunning, twiddle a nob, strum again, then try to put a pattern of chords together in what should be the music to a song and occasionally even sing. It is at this point after a dozen or so words I burst out into laughter at the result and am having the the greatest time ever, all on my own with Bertha. Sparkling has said to me on many occasions, it is the little things which matter. This is so very true. Little Bertha has a great voice a big heart and she makes me see the world in a whole different light. When I die I  hope to go laughing, even if the skies are grey, sunshine is always behind a cloud.