Officially having a baby

Rock Chick is now officially in labour. She went into hospital yesterday and they gave her a pessary at about 5:30 p.m., after waiting around three hours and nothing happening. Well,we do know Babyfro is a stubborn minded baby and only does things when she thinks it's time. Last night I hadn't heard a thing from Sparkling Eyes so I texted her about 7:30 p.m. and there was no reply. Apparently it is a poor reception area for mobile phones where the hospital is. Then about 10:20 p.m. I get a text and ring up Sparkling. Nothing was happening, although there seemed to be a twinge just after the pessary. For the time being there were no regular contractions. So I've been sitting most of the evening watching movies and worried out of my mind. What is happening? I don't know how Dangerous Sports Lad is putting up with the tension. If I'm on edge then both Sparkling and Dangerous are very much waiting for any morsel of news. The hospital had decided both Dangerous and Sparkling had to leave. At the time of my phone call they were to hang about at home and then go back to the hospital at midnight. At the moment I don't know what is going on, but it's probably right to assume there is no Babyfro yet.  I'd of been contacted if there was.

It is approximately 8:15 a.m. and the hours are passing by. Rock has been in labour for about 15 hours. There may have been no regular contractions but baby is well over due now so she has to come out whether she likes it or not. We're all waiting for her. I even had to write this BLOG before going off to work because I had to tell someone. I think the doctors and the hospital will not let Babyfro sleep away her entire existence in Rock's tummy. I'm sure Rock would certainly have something to say about it as well. By the time this baby see the light of day she will be about to talk, walk, run, read and write and recite the wisdom of Confucius at this rate. Providing she has reading material.

So it seem today will likely be the day of Babyfro's birth into this world. Dangerous has to endure a few more hours, so does Sparkling. Rock Chick has to hang in there and be strong. As if she has any choice not to, the reality is she's got no choice about anything at all. This baby must come and Rock is the only one who can give birth. Bloody ell, men are so lucky, men are the luckiest sex in the world. Until that is a woman scientist comes along and is able to make us carry babies.  Today at some point I will be a step grand dad. It's a big day, a very big day. It makes me feel weak at the knees when I think about it.  It makes me emotional as well. I'm rooting for you Rock. Babyfro is coming whether she likes it or not.  Lets hope it's not too long.

Come on baby, where are you?

Another False alarm

Rock Chick doesn't know when she is going to give birth. Another false alarm has passed. She's now starting to think she will never give birth and will be  a permanent pregnant woman. But I'm sure nature will take its course. Whether it is by walking about a lot or bouncing on her birth ball. It goes to show how bored Rock Chick is, for she text me to day to remind I should of done a task which I was going to do about 6 months ago. The sooner she has this baby the less time she will have to hassle me. It might sound a bit selfish, but we are all now waiting on Babyfro to be born and everybody can't wait to see her.

Well, better get on with doing a thousand piece jigsaw puzzle, this baby is going to take her own sweet time.

Rock Chick is in labour

I'm not entirely sure, but from what Sparkling has said, Rock Chick is nearly but not quite in labour.  Last night there were twinges, they stopped and she managed to sleep a little. They have been to the hospital and been advised she is having contractions. However, now she has to exercise or something to bring them on full throttle so to say. Sparkling said she has hardly slept at all last night. Indeed as I spoke to her on Skype she yawned, and then accused me of harassing her just because I'd eventually got set up on Skype. It's not true, I don't harass anyone. I was then told my life must be easy sitting there, and told to get a hair cut. It looked freaky. So heck. Now I wish I hadn't set Skype up because suddenly I'm in the firing line. All because Sparkling didn't get a good night's sleep. Rock is exercising, either walking or bouncing on her birth ball, she's probably speaking to Babyfro at the same time telling her she has to come out. So if she is in labour, then technically it probably began last night, then stopped and has began again. She's probably fed up with the pregnant thing and now wants to be the mummy. She'll be able to actually say, "I'm the mummy" if this is the kind of thing new mums do. My thoughts were once the baby is born then that's it. Apparently it is not "it" as Sparkling has said it's just the beginning and advised me I clearly had no experience of these things. I'll get a sow on badge and put in on my coat, something along the lines of "knows nothing about babies." I do know one thing, they usually are born unable to kick a football.

Dangerous must be stressed out with the whole thing. Sparkling tells me he is funny though, she's not sure if he can hold it together, poor kid, I know how he feels. It's only a woman at times like this who can hold it together. For him his part is being there and holding Rock's hand.  She in turn can inflict all manner of pain on him to help her through the entire giving-birth process.  Whatever she feels or says, he has to be calm and supportive, after all he can't go through the same pain as Rock. If it were possible then he would be the pregnant one. Lets not go down this road though, men can't have babies and I'm glad we can't. I do know though Rock will make demands on him and he will be up to it.

I don't know why but I too feel tired. Sparkling is tired, Rock is tired and you can bet Dangerous is tired. I'll be updated shortly but the way things are going, Babyfro will be here soon. Very soon.

What are Rock Chick and Babyfro doing to the men in their life?

At 1:36 a.m. this morning I was woken up. There was a vibration and my mobile was under the pillow. I reached for it and through eyes which had to be forced open was just able to focus on the screen. There was no message. No text telling me Rock Chick had gone into labour. I had woken myself up and the vibration could of only been from my own snoring. Which sadly to say means I must actually snore because it has been Sparkling Chick who has told me and I never believed her. She has a tendency to tell me the odd thing which I do believe only to find out she has pulled my leg. So I don't want to believe I snore, I'd rather of found a text message to say the stalk had landed. It clearly hasn't landed and is to preoccupied doing circles on thermal currents in the sky. Babyfro is taking her merry time and I'm just getting all flustered, emotional and on edge.  To be awoken by my own snoring is humiliating, but it could be worse.

A conversation was relayed to me from Sparkling Eyes. She told me about an incident a couple of days ago, involving Rock Chick and Dangerous. Rock has been eating all kinds of food in the hope they will have some kind of effect, even chillies. Her appetite has been ravenous lately. There was Rock sitting on a chair and all big and rounded, when she puts her hand on her belly and goes "ouch that was painful."  Dangerous who is on hyper-vigilant at this time looked at her. He could see the pain in Rock's face, his eyes opened up expectantly, heart palpitated, was this it, the big moment? It dawned on him. Rock says there's another pain again, Dangerous looks at her in anticipation.  He gets a little panicky and then can't help himself he says "is she coming?" and bursts into tears.  Well Babyfro wasn't coming, it was a false alarm, Rock had a twinge of indigestion from the food and nothing more. Dangerous the poor lad had lost it, he thought the moment had come and he was then expected to do his bit. The tension has gotten too much for him. This having a baby lark is actually doing some pretty weird things to the men in Rock's and Babyfro's life.  It seems we are having hormonal fluctuations in sympathy with Rock. It's also like we are taught elastics waiting to spring back, we're constantly monitoring the situation, constantly wondering when will it happen? In short we are starting to show the signs of physical and mental exhaustion, and we're not even having the baby.

When Babyfro pops out to say hello, there's one thing for sure, it will be a relief, my nerves are on edge.

A chat about being pregnant

Yesterday I rang up and spoke to Rock Chick, I was on the phone for over an hour and we chatted about all the things going on in her life at the moment. Of these the biggest is her pregnancy with Baby Fro. Rock is excited, she just can't wait to have little Fro and so is Dangerous. He is working long hours getting paid a pittance, but the both of them are generally very happy. Issues do arise every now and again, but these are quite natural things and because poor little Rock has got all these hormones working on her body she ends up in tears. Awwe. It is one of those things. However, there are quite a lot of things which happen in pregnancy, quite a lot. I remarked to Rock, "if you're going to have a baby it's got to be with someone who loves you because they got to put up with all through the pregnancy."  At this time she had finished a short topic about bouncing up and down on her birth ball (Swiss exercise ball) had farted and then it was only when she got off the ball the full whiff of the fart hit Dangerous. It must of been one of those deadly silent ones. I gather Rock is enjoying her birth ball and bouncing up and down on it while she watches TV. Mind saying this she reports to me how well she has been as a house wife, tidying up, cleaning, washing, and making sure Dangerous is well fed.  She's been really looking after  him to this extent. Given she has now stopped work.  All in all they seem to be doing OK and Rock certainly knows, it's all about getting by.

Unfortunately though for me Rock Chick then had to go into an extended conversation about what it was like being pregnant.  How she went on a visit to the maternity ward and saw everything. Then she started to give me a little too much information, if not about the maternity ward about her personal experience. Apparently there is a birthing pool in this ward, a place where mothers can have their baby's in a pool of water. So it comes out learning to swim as well as being born. What a great idea. I expect you can always tell the children who were born in birthing pools because they win all the swimming events at school. Anyway. Rock went on to say how she saw this video of a mother in the pool and how she was pushing so hard to have the baby her anus stuck out. Rock wasn't sure at first whether it was the anus and wondered if what she saw was the woman's v v v v vejay.  This really is not something I want to hear about and said it was too much information.  Yet saying I didn't want to hear this kind of thing was like an invitation to tell me even more. I audibly and visibly cringed as the conversation continued. Rock then when on to say "did you know sometimes when giving birth in the pool you can poo because you're pushing so hard?" Bloody hell, no I didn't know it, and yes it was too much information. She then said, "if you do poo they have this little net, and just fish it out." At this point I was like feeling a gag come on. Not a joke, a gag as in the impulse to vomit.  The sight of a nurse with a little fishing net, was in my mind. I could see it, a green net on the end of a cheap wooden cane.  Rock said to me, the reality of giving birth was nothing like what she had seen on TV and the realisation it could take a few hours or more was on her mind.  She is a young strong lady and I'm sure will cope well, I'm glad it's Dangerous who will be there and not me.

Rock told me how pregnancy was effecting Dangerous. She said he was just as bad as she and seemed to cry at anything. She'd seen him crying after watching a film on TV. She found some research on this, apparently a man's testosterone levels drop by about a third when their partner is pregnant. Stating the reason for this, was they had now made a woman pregnant and didn't need to prove anything to the world. They were in effect virile.  Which all sounds very macho and Neanderthal to me.  Except of course in this case of Dangerous he is turning into a right Fanny, a phrase L & B man often uses on me.  Imagine a real Neanderthal man not being able to go out and hunt for food because his hormones were playing up and he just didn't want to kill the odd prehistoric chicken, because  was soft. I'm sure any self respecting Neanderthal man would be severely reprimanded by his Neanderthal wife.  My own experience of emotions at this time, I put down to age.

It was wonderful talking to Rock, as at this moment every hour is a count to the day Baby Fro hits this world, but for sure there just was a little too much information. Cracking pelvis, farts, leaking everywhere, and movements of a new human being under the skin of a large pregnant belly (reminiscent of an Alien film) left me completely speechless and bewildered at the end and yet warm and happy as well. Wonder if I need a hormone test?

Broken phones and a little about the Ukulele

For some reason Sparkling's phones are not working when she talks to me. In the last two days we have been cut off about four times in mid conversation and then she blames the phone for not working. Whether it is the  house phone or her mobile. A normal person would think she is trying to avoid me but I know this is not true. However, Rock Chick did try and wind me up by saying it was purposeful. Sparkling says she is a techno phobe, and just does not know how to work new things, especially phones. As the phone is on the blink anyway I have ordered her  a new one. It's another cordless phone and is German. The German's make good long lasting things and in this case it will be easy to use as well. So the reviews advised. Perfect for the techno phobe, even if the techno phobe says it's because they are too hot. Fortunately this phone has been tested at all sorts of temperatures, or so the advertising video had me believe. So regardless my darling I will get to talk to you.

My BLOGs have been on the decline lately because I'm spending a lot of time playing Bertha (Ukulele). Again it seems the singing bit is the most difficult thing to do. Most of the songs I pick from Youtube tutorials and they are easy and catchy ones. It's just a matter of keeping rhythm, changing chords and singing, other than that I got the hang of it, mostly. I heard on the radio this morning the Ukulele is in the Guinness book of records for being the easiest instrument to learn. Oh yes, forgot to say my strumming pattern needs a bit of work on as well. I do think this is true, it is easy enough to get a tune out of it, but whether it sounds any good, is in time and whether my own vocals are complimentary is another matter altogether quite different. I read an article about one young lad who decided to do Europe during his study break and took a Ukulele with him. He said although it was cheap it helped him make friends pretty quickly. People seemed to like him and accept him on ready terms because he was carrying his little instrument around with him. And although it was a cheapo it was well worth every penny and he seemed to have a fondness for what it did. Even cheap things have a place in life. Better to if they make you smile.  I like this idea, odd how such a simple small thing can be such an ice breaker. I'll have to put in a few more hours and get a couple of songs of by heart. Even if my own voice is out of key. Someone may just like them.

Talking about torture, I hope to see Sparkling again in the next week or two and can treat her to an extended evening of song. Maybe she wont see it as torture this time round and not need to drink so many glasses of wine. But a little alcohol does make my singing and playing sound better as well. Or so I think. I can't wait to see her and now it's a matter of organizing the dates. I'll also get to see Rock and see her big belly as little Baby Fro begins to impose herself on the world. The weeks and days are now on count down. I wonder if babies can hear Ukulele's before they are born? They must do.  Problem is Rock isn't much of a convert when it comes to Bertha, she threatened to wrap Bertha round my head. It must be the pregnancy thing, it just makes women a bit emotional. Anyway, fingers crossed I'll be up in Scotland soon. Yep, better get a bit more practice in, I'll need it.

A look at Baby Fro

I've been lazy the past couple of weeks, not writing in this diary. But usually it's down to getting the right feeling at the right moment and having the time to do it. It's not like my life has been completely uneventful, although mostly everyday is similar to the next, but there is usually some kind of news which comes from somewhere which is worthy of comment.

For example, Rock Chick's 4D scan. Or rather 3D but the company who do pregnancy scans calls it 4D. It must be some kind of gimmick. The last time I heard of the fourth dimension was from a story called the Time Machine. I'm sure there is no such thing as a time hopping baby, but it is an interesting thought. So, Rock Chick, Dangerous Sports Lad and Sparkling Eyes took a train journey from the East of Scotland to the West. Glasgow to be precise. There they had an appointment with a scan machine. The one thing they neglected to do was to tell Little Baby Fro it was picture time, if anything like Rock she'd need time to compose herself in the appropriate way and give a beautiful big smile. Taking on another trait which Rock has, Fro decided it was a day just to lay in bed and sleep. As Rock lay there the woman ran the scanner over her belly and the Fro as if wanting to keep the world out just put her arms over her face in the classical foetal position, curled up all lovely and warm, not wanting to play football or anything, awwe, she was quite comfortable. The scanning assistant advised they go for a walk, or maybe drink some fizzy drink.So they did, they tried again. Yet again though Fro was not being helpful, so Rock threw in a few star jumps as well. The situation was desperate as the assistant doing the scanning would of rather given them back their money than do her job.  Eventually a dozen or so pictures were taken and a couple of short videos. There is one picture I have where Fro is showing her face, but she really is taking no notice at all of the world and slept happily during the entire event.  I saw this photo and was overcome with emotion and happiness, she is the most beautiful baby I have seen. Of course every baby in the world is the most beautiful, but to me Fro was definitely the most beautiful baby in the world. I believe from the out start Fro is going to be a handful for Rock, because like Rock, Fro doesn't believe in doing what other people want her to do and does her own thing, in her own time. With luck she will take on the calming side of Dangerous's demeanour rather than his drama queen side. She is beautiful and I so can not wait to say hello and be called pops. Sparkling is also very happy to be a glamorous nanny. To the point she will be doing a cat walk for a cancer research fund raiser. This is a very wonderful and special time for all of us, and it's so good Fro is just taking it in her stride.

Sparkling was not happy with the assistant who admitted to hating her job. Which is a disappointing thing at a precious moment in the lives of all those looking on. In her get back way, Sparkling has now written a very long email of complaint and vows to send it every day if she does not get a reply. I gave her some advise, and suggested she track down the Chairman, and Chief Executives of the company, for these sorts of people hate to be bothered by their customers complaining. They will do their best to avoid them and then usually do their best to make up for it. I bloody well hope so.

So my beautiful baby Fro, I am going to hold up to you a glass and say welcome to this world, I'll also write a little book on life's lessons for you. It won't be attached to your umbilical cord because there has been a gene invented to make you wise. At least you will be loved very much and happy.

The snow is melting

The snow is melting at last, it may only be a few degrees but there's a constant trickle of water. The snowman I built with Sparkling in her garden has shrunken. This figure happened one intoxicating night, when Sparkling said it had to be done before celebrity big brother. She reminds me the snowman will forever be embedded in my memory. A little like a large snowball which had found its way down the back of my jeans, the revealing builders bum was too much of a temptation. Again something which had to be done as far as Sparkling was concerned. The sun even came out this morning, it was nice to see. As the weather warms up there isn't such a need for me to continue with my facial hair. Sparkling has grown used to it and thinks I look rugged, even though she comments the tash tickles. The snowman didn't have a tash by the way.

Last night Sparkling arranged a meeting with the son of a friend she used to know as a child. He emigrated to Australia when about ten years old. His son was now here in Scotland doing a European tour with his partner. It's funny how Australians do the travelling thing, they just get out see the world and renew family ties, perhaps more than those of us who still have family in the UK. They were a happy couple, Sparkling could not help put her hand on his partner's belly as she is about 14 weeks pregnant. Sparkling does this quite naturally, every time she sees Rock Chick her hand is on Rock's belly, it rests there while she senses any movement from  baby.  Maybe it's a maternal thing, or maybe she is sending some sparkling magic through her touch, which puts everyone at east. It's amazing to see young couples so excited over the experience of pregnancy, choosing names and what the future holds. Emotions and everything else gets thrown in. The Australian connection was good. It is always a little apprehension in meeting new people, but at the same time excitement. Unlike Rock they didn't know what the gender of their baby was but would like find out when they returned down-under. It's a shame they didn't get to meet Rock Chick and Dangerous, there were so many similarities between them.

Tomorrow I return to London. So it's the usual anti-climax and emotional upheaval. I found my mind wondering off to issues at the Fish Factory and life in London. Family there and family here. Sparkling remarked I tell her every day I love her when I'm here. This is true, when you find love you just can't help it. It's been a great time, Sparkles hit fifty, we had the biggest snow fall over the shortest time I can think of and a great deal of fun. Sparkles has even tolerated my Ukulele playing with Bertha. I am so lucky, which if I didn't know it Sparkles would tell me I am.

A Birthday and some feisty forces

It's my birthday today, and I have opened up two cards.  Another year has passed and it is odd how opening up a card can incur sentiment, it just does.  Unfortunately today I am not in the company of Sparkling and for about 15 years every birthday has usually been greeted by her.  He big hug is wonderful, but I will be going to see her next week and I know she will give me a hug then.  How much I love her can not be defined because there is no scale for it. It is good to wake up and be thinking about someone and during the day there will be thoughts of Sparkling.  So I really do look forward to next week.

Rock Chick is pregnant.  She says it feels different than before, already she has been put on lighter duties at work.  I would think Dangerous Sports Lad will shortly have to acclimatise to  his responsibilities as a father and provider.  Another is to not spend all night playing on a games consul.  I know they will get through their differences and tiffs, because they love each other very much. If Dangerous doesn't pull his socks up; Rock she will kick his arse around the flat (apartment) until he does.  Rock likes to be in control of things, and he'll have little in the way of alternatives.  I'm sure he has felt the wrath of Rock but the emotions of a pregnant woman run higher than a non pregnant one.  Further, there is the spectre of being on Sparkling's dark side.  Sparkling is a very feisty woman, and her passions as a mother to protect Rock Chick and kick Dangerous up the arse are highly versatile. She expressed these to me on the phone and as I listened my phone grew hot in my hand.  It was either this or the bad night's sleep she got.  He doesn't know it but there is a great force in movement, a force even Star Wars would be wary of encountering and Darth Vader would avoid.

So today my intentions are to take things easy.  I'm going into the Fish Factory later than usual and the annoyances I have with other persons will be held in controlled abeyance.  Until my very own passionate force has it's chance to kick some arse. There's obviously a common thread here.

As the saying goes, may the force be with you.