First Ever Salsa Lesson

For several months the ladies at the Fish Factory had been pestering me to join Salsa classes. They’re once a week during a lunch break. But I had on many occasions been able to avoid them. They said there was a lack of men, to tell the truth, me and the baldy carpenter man who sits next to me had been getting the thumb screws. But this was it. I had decided. After a conversation with Sparkling Eyes where she had suggested we could Salsa, I’d have to learn. Of course I don’t think Sparkling knows how to Salsa either, but she will learn I’m sure. And I could teach her if she don’t mind. But I have to be careful. Because if she thinks I’m getting bossy or know something she’d like to know then I’d be in trouble.

Promptly leaving the Fish factory at mid day I headed to the hall. It’s not a little hall. It’s a pretty big hall. With a tall ceiling. About thirty feet up. And the hall could probably hold a few hundred people, with room to spare I’m sure. As I entered there was a lady standing at a table arranging leaflets. All of them were about Salsa. Salsa gigs all over the country. I didn’t take much notice, but asked if she was teaching. She was. There was three of us in the hall. Me the teacher, and her mum. Both these ladies looked familiar, because they work in different parts of the Fish Factory. I introduced myself, wrote my name in a book. And waited. Texted Sparkling and waited a little more. I was the only student. Baldy Carpenter man had blown me out, he was yellow.

The next 40 or so minutes I learnt the 4 basic steps to Salsa. I danced with the teacher, and at one moment I was a bit horrified. Because, it was the moment when for some reason I make an odd face. Sticking tongue out without realising, as though about to lick ice cream from the sides of my mouth. It’s partly to do with the intense concentration. People with brains do this now and again. I caught myself, laughed and reeled it in. During the first ten minutes I nearly walked out of the hall from frustration. The steps and my brain just didn’t seem to be working together. Doing a kinda side step move, I found myself leaning over. Instead of the elegant swaying hip macho latin fellow, as required; I had become a mobile Leaning Tower of Pizza. I commanded my feet to move and at times they were glued to the floor. I was counting and losing count. Pulling when I should have been pushing, left footing when I should have been right footing and generally getting into a knot. There was one move I was a natural at, it’s a quarter turn. Otherwise the whole experience was equally annoying and enjoyable.

I can’t wait to show Sparkling my moves. Though I am sure she will be moving side ways or backwards to keep away from me, especially if the tongue thing gets lose. I’ll even show Rock Chick if she’s interested. However, I'm probably glad Baldy Carpenter man decided not to come, because he reminded me if he had come we'd of been the only students and may have found we were dancing with each other. Now blackmail matterial or what?

There's one small snag to Salsa. I don’t have dark latin skin or the features of Zorro. But I’m sure this is OK, I got the moves, better work on the rhythm though, the side step, the forward step, the back step, the hips, the leaning, couting from one to eight and missing out four, five and eight. Blimey, no wonder I got confused.