England footy players should be paid in chips

England gave an abysmal performance against Algeria last night. To say they were lacklustre would be an understatement. For someone who doesn’t actually follow football, watching this game was for patriotic reasons. However, I can only come to one conclusion those players were not patriots, they were aplysia in the depth of an ocean. There was no gumption, no bull-dog spirit, no passion of pride in country. It looked like each and everyone of them had been out on the booze the night before and were suffering from hangovers. England’s football team were no better than the morning after the night before when they had all been shit-faced cuddling the pan waiting for their next wretch of vomit.

If footy skills were calculated on wages then these good-for-nothing two legged representatives of England wouldn’t have enough money to by a portion of chips between them. Wayne Rooney made a remark as he left the pitch in a sarcastic tone, of how good it was to have England supporters in South Africa so they could boo them. This team deserves to be put back on a plane and made to walk a tunnel of humiliation. When Gerard was asked what was missing from the game all he could say was goals. Goals! Bloody goals! How wrong could he be? What was missing was pride and passion. These players can not be said to truly represent our country. I would be incredibly proud to have been a North Korean when considering how they played and even lost their match. They were without doubt, respectful to authority, passionate, energetic and gave it every ounce of their being on the field. The scorn England players and management will get in today’s papers will be monumental. Maybe as monumental as their real salaries. If they continue to play like this, when they come back to club football the fans will want their guts for garters. I am ashamed, ashamed to be English. If I could divorce this team and become Algerian I would. If I were north Korean I would hold nothing but pride. Lets hope someone gets a vuvuzela and sticks in a place where the sun don’t shine, eleven times, or twelve if you include the manager. Maybe then they will be motivated, maybe then they will see how they have let down their country, their fans, their families. Today they hold heads in shame. If they don’t then their ignorance and hubris knows no bounds.