An interest in Stoicism

For many years I have occasionally dipped my toes into the waters of Stoicism to try and get a grasp of what it is. However, the toe dipping is not a serious thing, if it were I would of put on a full wet suit and learnt to hold my breath for five minutes or more. Getting pretty wet no doubt. This curiosity arose when I came across a quote which has been inscribed on my mind. It is:

It is not what happens to you but how you react to it that matters.
Epictetus

This quote says so much about our mental attitude to everything we experience in life. The stressful events which happen are stressful because we see them that way.  One way to interpret this is to say I choose to feel stressed during a stressful episode in my life so therefore I can choose not to feel stressed as well. The same would apply to any emotion. However emotions are those things internal which are one would think very difficult to control.  Granted, lets say emotions are difficult to control this then does not mean they are impossible to control. For we all know difficult things can be achieved, it is facing difficulties in our own lives which determines what sort of a character we have.

For example, after leaving secondary school I found it very difficult to get a job. I had one job then there was a break of a year before I had another job.  After what seemed like an eternity getting into employment was a wonderful release, although poorly paid it was good to be working.  I didn't actually like the work I was in and felt I had sold my soul to the devil, yet I still did the work I had to do.  Work is important and I also learnt having structure in your day is important. Work gives structure to say the least. Since this time I have never been unemployed. Every new job I have gone into I have done while still working in another job. So the transition has been smooth, working in one place then moving to another.  I also re determined the key to helping myself was through education and spent several years in evening classes getting an education I had failed while of school age.  Just as the adage goes, more is learnt outside of school than in school and life's lessons are harder.  So as a stoic like minded person I had set myself goals and moved from accepting my lot in poorly paid poverty jobs to one which is now slightly above average pay.  Yet in the work place I have learnt another lesson from life's school.  It is the truth in the saying promotion is by Dead Man's Shoes.  However, more than this it is necessary to be prepared, it was the preparation when an opportunity cam up which mattered just as much.  I found interviews were nerve racking and had not given a best account of my abilities. This is perhaps a lacking of the stoic principle highlighted above which exasperated my personal anxieties when being interviewed.  So another principle of the stoics comes to play.

This is to understand it is necessary to deny yourself things at times.  The desire for chocolate may be exceptionally strong, but it doesn't mean it should be eaten every day nor should it be eaten just because you feel the need to eat it. Stoics believe it is necessary to deny yourself things and feel uncomfortable and to put yourself in a uncomfortable situation.  This acknowledges every day of our lives we do the same things and doing those same things becomes easy. It means our lives are comfortable and we fail to challenge ourselves we fail to move out of the comfort zone or ball of protection held around us. The challenge is to do something totally different and outside of this something which wakes us up. For stoicism puts it we must recognise our life is short.  My attitude towards interviews and the stress felt during them was because I simply have not been in the interview situation frequently enough and I allowed my anxieties to dominate me and prevent me from doing what I would like to do.  Not preparing for interviews was another aspect of self immolation.  Therefore this makes me think stoicism is also about being disciplined with your mind and your feelings. However I think this discipline should be gentle. For beating yourself up achieves nothing.  If I am stressed I need to accept it but then persuade myself the reasons why I feel stressed and why it is necessary to both face this stress and come through the other side.  In other words be my own best friend.  All of which sounds a bit clichéd but is true.

So in the next few weeks I just need to get my reserves together and book a dental appointment for a troublesome tooth which has likely got to be extracted. Where is Epictetus when you really do need him is what I say?