Winter is here

There is something satisfying to waking up in a warm snug bed. Where you are just so comfortable and relaxed and just don't want to move, but know there's no choice. It's a working day. Inevitably it will be another late start. This morning, for about the third morning in a row, it was cold. damn cold. So cold I saw a monkey running down the street after his brass balls. Frost disguised the ground like the fine powdering of a Christmas Jule tide log. One step outside and my cheeks chilled. The capillaries constricted, nose ears and cheeks going red. Each exhale was equivalent to the steam from an old locomotive train. Each inhalation biting until my lungs were used to the crisp air. It was cold and I could only hope it continues to be cold for a good 3 or 4 weeks. To remind every person who lives in the UK, there are 4 seasons and this is what winter should really be like.

With global warming there have been very few cold winters in the UK. The weather has been so mild some years that winter may have only visited for a few days. To live in the UK you have to be versatile, your body should be able to adapt to both hot and cold. Come winter an internal clock gets kicked into action. Where your own body realises it has to adapt. Then when the temperature is 11 or more degrees Celsius you know it is mild. On a cold day it's wind chill which makes it worse still. Then the boys from the men are measured. Notably we all become mice, find a building and go into it. Especially with shops. Mingle around the stalls looking, but in reality just keeping warm. Make sure you always got a hat. Make sure you're prepared. Let the body's own central heating start. Eat porridge. Wear the warmest clothes you can find, even if they are outlandish, because in cold weather it don't matter. Because every person will look at your funny Russian hat and show envy. With observation check out the cool hip teenage boys who usually hang their jeans half way down their knees. Because now. Those same jeans have been pulled up. Poor things. Even fashion is secondary to warmth on a winter day. Oh how a cold bum would be a pain.

And eat, and eat, and eat. Like a fat squirrel. Eat store fat because those walks or jaunts into the world burn up more calories than normal. Or is it a chattering jaw? Warm up those arms, warm up your constitution, sing, dance, these are all ways to seek one thing. Warmth. Oh how I do love a warm bed on a cold day. Snuggle, snuggle, snuggle.