Yesterday morning at the fish factory I heard some sad news. One of my colleagues had died. It was a result of a struggle against Cancer. The news had a numbing effect on me, he was a nice bloke, who I'd sat next to on the bus a couple of times and had the odd chat. Though not having worked with him, I knew him and couldn't help feel down. Which accounted for my morose mood when later in the pub. Conversation tended onto things like God, and belief or not belief. It's only in contact with death I thought we learn about life. They should both be inextricably entwined so we're always prepared.
This makes me think of the film Forest Gump, when a disabled ex army veteran sits on the mast of a prawn fishing boat as it goes into a raging sea, he holds his fist up and laughs, he cajoles and rants out his grievances against god or not god, as the case may be. But it was an enlightened moment for the character. So although each minute or each second of every day can not be contemplated on the notion of death (partly because it would be too exhausting and would make a normal person verge on insanity) the hand of Thanatos is always around and it's good to know. Perhaps though, acknowledging it more often, embracing it, and respecting it gives greater reason to life. To not let things become overly heavy and stressful. To love and express this love. The odd point some religions got right. Love, a very powerful thing as are each of the persons we meet in life, because they to are this journey.
I got drunk last night after leaving the pub and going onto another venue. It doesn't take much. Just a guinness followed by 4 or maybe 5 pints of shandy. All for a reason, it was the leaving do of a member of the fish factory, who is a hard working, very-knowledgeable-in-his-field nice guy. It's a little sad, but he will be earning more and acknowledged more for his abilities. I was pretty happy being drunk. I enjoy being drunk. Especially drunk and happy. I sat in my chair with a funny smile on my face. And, loved everyone. It's nice to be a happy drunk. This morning I woke up and the room seemed to be spinning but not so bad as to throw me off the edge. Like one of those playground toys. I think I was still slightly drunk, but didn't have a headache. And it's having a hang over which is the killer. Yes Thanatos I know you're there, but this must of been the effect of Lady Inebriation herself. It is wonderful not to have a hangover, I just drunk lots of liquids. Thought about how many calories I must of downed and had some toast for breakfast. Then recalled I had rang up Sparkling Eyes and left two sets of messages on her answer phone. Damn.
I know, I was talking a load of rubbish because when I rang I wanted to talk to Sparkling Eyes in person so just blabbered stuff so as not to get cut off by the answering machine. Which does seem to cut in just when I'm getting to a good part of my message. I must make a very mental note and not leave answerphone messages when I'm drunk. They are recordings when your mind is a scrambled egg. Fortunately, in an earlier incident there was no signal on a colleagues phone to ring up Tweedledum who sits next to me. Because I was going to tell him I loved him to. I couldn't help laughing to myself. I laughed waiting for the train. On the train, and then going to bed. I probably even laughed in my sleep. A happy drunk indeed.
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