The last three days I've had an experience, camping at the 1980s Rewind Festival in Perth (Scotland), which is a stone throw away from Perth racecourse. It's situated in the grounds of Scone Palace (this is pronounced Scoon). What an event it has been, myself, Sparkling Eyes, L & B man and The Revenues Lady have endured a lot of time with nature, to the point a little too much a nature. A day without a shower is bad enough but now it has been three days, I'm minging as the Scots would say. After we got in the house, unloaded most of the bags, a long hug with Sparkling, I then began hoovering. Sparkles had a long shower, she came back down refreshed and I asked her for another hug, to which she said an emphatic no because I smelled of "shite and pishh." There I was thinking love went beyond the smells of nature and it obviously doesn't.
Of the artists performing were: The Earth, Wind and Fire Experience (sounded just like the real Earth Wind and Fire), Tony Hadley, Mike and The Mechanics, Modern Romance, Rick Astley, Jason Donovan and Belinda Carlisle. Others were there but I can't recall the entire line up. Which could also be something to do with only having 3 or 4 hours sleep each night. My eyelids are about to go on strike and close up altogether. The weather was at first fantastic, which probably added to the body odor situation, putting up a tent when the sun is bright, hard and the temperature is in the 80s is a trial in itself. I saw sweat drip down L & Bs forehead. Sparkling sat on a chair inhaling her e-cigarette. The practice session we'd had earlier helped. But it didn't stop L & B calling me a "fanny" or how he was gonna batter my "puss" which means face and is nothing to do with a pet cat. Eventually our home for the next three times was up. The air beds seemed to take up more space than they were worth and reduced sleeping compartment room. Unfortunately overnight the weather changed, there was no cloud so it got very cold and we learnt the sleeping bags were not up to scratch. Getting used to my own body odor was a difficult thing at first. So I tried getting some kind of fresher clean feel by using wet-wipes. They are not great, but when the queue to the showers is a mile long and a couple of hours wait it wasn't worth it. There was more to do, get drunk, avoid people I thought were not normal. I'll not go into it but nowadays I choose me company to a greater degree.
Without doubt the most traumatic incident of this wonderful event was not being stinky, it was the toilets. The festival only had 30,000 people attend, but at some time or other they would all need to use a toilet. There must of been hundreds of porta-loos everywhere. When the main event was in play a set of about 60 loos was crowded, stinking something rotten, and had about ten deep of people wanting to use them. It must of been something the organizers had put in the alcohol, heavens knows what it would of been like were it pissing down every day. There are videos on YouTube on how to use a porta-loo, it might be an obvious thing knowing how to use a toilet, but lets just say if you are into yoga and can hold your breath for six or seven minutes then you have a distinct advantage to using Festival toilets. The must have essential sets of items for the unfortunate event of using a portable toilet is called the "shit-kit" everyone should put this together, as a just-in-case absolute essential. It will have, wet-wipes, hand sanitizing gel, spare knickers. Extra items would be a peg and some kind of perfumed spray. Ultimately if a toilet is particularly disgusting you have the choice not to use it, however there may also be the likelihood of having very little choice but to use it. Only hope in some way the flushing mechanism is working. Even a small flush is better than no flush at all, but be prepared the sight of some awful toilet dumps could await. As though they were some kind of personal art project left behind by an anonymous person. I was fortunate on a number of occasions to choose not to use certain toilets and then move onto another. But needs must and it may well be you could end up shitting yourself. It's a nasty realisation, but it could happen as L & B man has told of his own experience, but then he is an unusual person and openly talks about is experiences. Though at times I'd wish he didn't, get in a compulsive don't-tell-me-but-I-can't-stop-listening things comes on.
Getting back to civilisation is wonderful. Having hot water run from a shower and the smell of perfumed shower gel is a luxury and so appreciated. However, maybe best of all was having a cup of tea. I enjoyed the festival, the event of camping, the music, it is a love-hate thing overall, at times I loved it at times I hated it. Meeting new people was also a good thing, it seems when you get up in the morning and see what an individual looks like when they are not at their best or they are suffering with the same problems builds up a comadre and breaks down barriers. Now, smelling better, being refreshed, visiting a real flushing toilet have made me very happy to, all I need now is some sleep.
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