The Battle of the Bottle

There is in Scotland a little individual who at the power of her desires has at least three adults running around, whatever her want is they satisfy it. Until now, until this point in time where Babyfro is about to get some gentle persuasion. From breast feeding to bottle feeding. For poor Rock Chick has now survived four months of stolen sleep where ever she could get it. Oh to go 8 hours, Rock Chick the one who loves her bed and the comfortable feeling it's sheets provide. Dangerous, like a caveman of olden days goes out and works. But he's a good daddy, he doesn't mind getting up to his elbows in baby poop. I've seen him, for his little girl he'll do anything, except of course the biological thin he's not equipped to do; but he can hold a bottle. He could hold a bottle, if only Babyfro is amenable to a little coaxing. It will have to be so slowly and so carefully for this little one is not for being fooled by anyone, she knows what the real thing is, she knows mummy is an entire entertainment centre and feeding machine, Babyfro has the stare. A stare where nothing can get between her and her mum, a stare so transfixed it is like she sees a wonder of the universe. And this is true of every mum, they are bloody wonders when it comes to their babies. Dangerous goes in for the mission, bottle in hand, aiming in then out, she's not having it, he can clear up Fro's crap but he's not going to get away with sneaking a bottle feed. This is an altogether different ball game Mr Dangerous, for Babyfro has you twined around her little-lest of fingers. Go away daddy don't try that thing on me she says. A grown man whimpers away, losing this battle.

It will have to happen some time to Babyfro she can't win out time and again, perseverance will have to change the tide of this sea.  Rock Chick is needing a break but baby is not convinced when a bottle is pushed in her mouth from Rock. Out it goes.  In then out, in then out. She knows what she wants. So it is this little bundle of joy not only knows what she likes she is not for turning. Dangerous takes the helm of the battle again, with bottle in hand Rock stands back. In fact she has to be out of sight, for baby can smell, see, and hear if mummy is there, she's not going to be convinced at daddy if mummy is around. Then left on his own Dangerous tries yet again to coax the bottle into baby's mouth. She is not having it. He gives up. What are they to do, who will come to the rescue?

Here she is Sparkling Eyes, otherwise aka Gaga. Gaga is on call, it's now her turn. She's doing baby sitting and she's on rota for walkies, while mummy and daddy are out. So with rolled up sleeves Sparkling goes to battle, bottle in hand, warmed to just the right temperature. Babyfro is still too smart to take it on. She moves her mouth from side to side to avoid the rubber teet. As if to say "not again, even Gaga is at it."  She will not accept the bottle, where's my mummy she would say but at this point in life says it by expression, looking around, being fidgety and telling Gaga it is not going to work. Gaga might be super woman but this baby is super baby as well. Mummy and daddy are out, having a break. OK then if it's going to be like this Gaga thinks I'll have to get the industrial machinery out. To the pram she heads, baby in arms, all swaddled and comfortable wondering what is going on, wondering why Gaga isn't turning kart wheels just because baby wants her to. Door open, door closed, out goes Gaga pushing pram and Babyfro. The industrial machine of walking soon gets to tire out the ruler of the world. Pram wheels turn, rocking gently from side to side. She looks up and sees the face of Gaga, in turn they stare at each other. Yet the movement and the air and the noise and everything else is just a little too much for Fro. Her eyes fight the exhaustion of being taken for a walk. This is even worse than the bottle, how underhanded of Gaga to do this, to make her tired and sleepy.

An hour later Sparkling returns back home, with baby, gently napping. There she lay, eyes closed and world domination in a land of pink elephants, purple dinosaurs and yellow talking sponges.  For a few moments Sparkling can rest, for a few moments neither Sparkling, Baby or bottle are at work. A little peace, a little quiet and in a few more moments round twelve for the battle of the bottle will begin.