Putting a knot in a ukulele G string

Well the expression getting your knickers in a twist, isn't anything like getting your ukulele string knotted. But it seems close enough to me.  This evening I sat down for the usual session with Harvey and rattled out a couple of tunes, one of which I sang to.  Counting time and singing still is difficult by the way and it's been a year.  When I decided I'd had enough of a string buzz.  I know it's a string buzz and not tinnitus because they sound quite a lot different. Even though in conversation with Sparkling she tried to influence my feeble mind by suggesting I was hearing things, again.  I definitely do know the difference.  So I know what string it is, it's a low G string I'd specially bought a few months ago and it has got to be something to do with the knot at one end. Hence knickers in a twist, because of the buzzing noise and of course a G string is also in reference to a type of underwear.  Which by the way I do not wear, have never worn and never intend to wear.  My name is not Borat.

So off I whip the low G string, followed by twenty minutes of undoing the knot. Followed by a quick search on Google to find out what sort of knot should actually be used.  Finding a knot called the Ashley Stopper I thought this would be it. This would stop the rattling.  So I work out how to do the Ashley Stopper manage to tie it and just to make sure it is tight and secure use two pairs of pliers to pull it together.  I admired my work and learnt something new, I should be given a Scout badge now. Except for being 40 years too late I would have one.  Anyway the next thing to do is get this knot slotted into the bridge of my ukulele.  Being an idiot I didn't consider the knot may actually now be too large.  It was. Too bloody large by far and would not fit in position.  It is the design of Harvey, his bridge isn't like normal bridges, it's a bridge way too far.  Heck it's the way I tell them.  Now though, as this knot has been pulled tight with the help of pliers I'm stuck in trying to undo the bloody thing.  Shit.  An hour chat with Sparkling Eyes, because I love her and miss her and she's not much good at giving advise on knots but this doesn't matter.  I listened to her story of how she had been defrauded by some unscrupulous people and desperately tried to unknot the knot.  An hour has now passed by and my practice session lasted only about ten minutes, with a little bit of strumming and bashing out Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire.

The knot is still knotted, G what does a man do when he's got no knickers and his fingers just are not up to the job of pulling strings.  Another day another ukulele.