It has been a while since my last BLOG, life can get in the way of doing things. Obstacles so to say.
A brief update.
Little Monster Boy is more of a teenager than he is a monster boy now. He is getting his own opinions and he disagrees with whatever is said in a belligerent manner. When asking for his opinion on something he spouts out conspiracy theories he's read on the internet, it is like he has become a babbling crazy man who is completely unconvincing. But yet, when I say he must be hot with his long hair and it probably needs a cut, given it's in the mid 80s F and I can see beads of sweat on his neck he'll say "no it's not hot." This of course makes me feel like he is treating me like an idiot and could easily result in an argument. I guess it is the natural progression of teenagers, they argue, they seek their nook and cranny and they are fed up with adults telling them what to do. Not to mention being pain in the back sides. When Monster Boy was young I used to seek out his company and enjoyed it because he was young and had that wonderful view of life. Where the only important thing was Doctor Who, now when we go out for a walk I even notice him glancing at girls. Although he doesn't have a girlfriend yet, I wonder how long it will be. Unfortunately he is the geeky type and nice geeks don't get girlfriends early, they generally have to wait a few extra years. So now if I take him out for a walk I have to be prepared for either a discussion with someone who is off his head and wants to argue or a case of me doing all the talking and him just nodding his head like a toy. Neither of which is much use to either of us, I like discussion, two ways, I can talk to a wall any time there's a lot of them about.
I got back a few days ago from seeing Sparkling Eyes, it was as usual wonderful. We also had a holiday in Prague. I was a little disappointed by Prague because it appears to be exceptionally set up for tourists. There may well be history there, great architecture, wonderful beer, but it is like every shop has a purpose of getting money out of tourists. They sell crappy little tourist trinkets for people to take back home, the sort of things which go on shelves and have no use, that cost more than they are worth and were made in China in a sweat factory workshop. Hell I can get those things anywhere. The most useful thing which Sparkling got on the entire holiday was a hand fan, again a toursity thing but she used it and it went everywhere with her, unfortunately it got torn. The temperature in Prague was exceptionally high on some days. We walked around a tourist market and at one point I came across some thermometers, they were in the shade and registering temperatures of either 34 or 36 degrees Celsius. I walked slow, I just don't know what it was, I just could not pull myself together to walk fast. It was at this time I realised the worst season you can visit a country is during the height of summer, for you are always tired and don't have the motivation to get up and see the sights. The fact is I may have liked Prague if it was not for the tourists. It was disappointing to be in an ex communist country as well to find how expensive it was, the prices should of been cheaper, but unfortunately the Czech Republic is running into the EU like yet another demented sheep following the herd.
When I returned to London from Scotland the next day I would be in the Fish Factory. I just didn't want to go back. I hated the idea of returning to it. I felt like I needed another 6 months off work and it was the realisation of work pressure which hit home. I felt sad and fragile. Missing Sparkling, missing being woken up at 2:30 a.m. by Olly the cat who treats me like his constant bitch, missing my morning hug of Sparkling and someone to love and love back. Fed up with my immediate family who are set in their own psychic vicious circles and don't want to change. To the extent I wonder if it is me who has the problem, maybe I should be talking to brick walls, I guess every brick wall has its own personality and although they are all similar you can guarantee never to get into an argument with one, it will always be silent and always non judgemental. I can see a few traits there similar to good psycho analysts.
Maybe it's because I am angry at things. Angry at a lot of stuff and just have to let things go even though at times it feels like being shite on from a height. Holding on to anger doesn't help me, it's like holding onto the fat around my girth. Heck does this mean I am a screwed up individual. Probably, but probably no more screwed up than anyone else. Now what I need is a holiday but without the tourists.
No comments:
Post a Comment