Is it an allergy or is it me

I'm up north again in Sparkling's company.  She's had two allergic reactions which have bought her out in hives.  She's said she is allergic to me.  The first occasion it happened I called the emergency services, it was fifty, fifty whether Sparkling should go to the hospital and she decided not to this time.  The second time it happened was this morning and Sparkles had not eaten anything.  It was delayed by about 9 hours from the first episode.  She hadn't eaten and it was only me who she had been in contact with.  In an hour or so it had passed and the hives subsided enough for Sparkles to head into work. There was no further problem and the day passed with Sparkles eating boiled potatoes and cucumber.  Hardly any chance of a reaction to them.  One epipen used and two on standby.  Thing is Sparkles has not eaten anything I have made so this would mean if she is allergic to something it could be me.  I hope to think not because of me.  It just happens I happen to be around when it happens. 

This evening as I went out to the shops I asked Sparkles if she wanted anything?  Her reply was along the lines of:  A blond, six foot seven, who is good at plumbing, gardening, likes washing up and has a foot fetish so he can do her feet.  I wondered for a moment exactly what isle I'd find this man and asked whether it would be in the fresh produce section.  Sparkling said "no!" quite loudly and answered just as emphatically "in the meat section! Meat."  I asked if he wasn't available would an alternative do and tried to stat describing myself, which was interrupted as she said "no, if I can't have the meat I don't want the salami."  Wonderful, because Sparkles has got an allergy to me she's on the look out for an alternative.  I need to grow another foot taller, dye my hair, get muscles and take up plumbing.

Lucky I don't have any allergies.

Don't smack those electrical things

My desktop computer is on the blink. Last night it hung and repeatedly I turned it off then on.  It tried to reboot but got stuck again.  Then it went to the black screen which gives you options to safe boot.  I tried and nothing happened.  I think it's getting hot or old or both.  Hot and old and reluctant to move.  I'm sure though it is all software related, or mostly software related.  So this evening I turn it on and re tried it.  Two boots and it works.  When I say boots I don't mean I gave it a kicking with a pair of steal toe caps.  If only I did have steal toe caps then I would of given it one.  So for the moment it is OK.  Temporarily OK and then it will be crunch time again and I will have to start all over to get it working.  It may need reformatting and windows re loaded.  Last time this happened I just loaded windows back on top again and hoped the thing would work.  It did.  That was about 4 months ago, so now it's becoming a hassle.  Maybe I shouldn't of nudged it by accident the other night, it was then it began playing up.  Worse than a two year old.  It's probably about 8 years old.  But it's done well and I've loved it.  When it's worked of course.

Another day has gone past and although I've sent a text to Sparkling she has not replied.  I think her phone is on the blink as well.  I spoke to her yesterday and she said she never received yesterday's message.  Maybe she needs to delete some of the old messages in her phone and then it will work.  There seems to be something up with electronic devices at the moment.  One after the other they are failing, particularly failing or just being pedantic little characters, seeing if they can test your patience.  The thing is no matter how frustrated you get it doesn't help letting the red devil out of the back and giving them a good thumping.  Circuit boards have an aversion to being knocked about.  It's not like the good old days when your parent would go up to the bulky black and white TV and with a tensed fist hit it on top.  There's a number of black and whites which were sent to electronic heaven.  If not the tip.  Yet others did actually respond to this treatment.  For a short while.  They probably knew what was in store for them if they continued to fail.  Cussing doesn't have any effect on them either.  Maybe it's an omen we should all go back to pen and paper.  Or is it chalk board.  Maybe we should all communicate more rather than watch TV.  Talk to each other than seek refuge in the dumb box, or dumb monitor.  Making us even dumber.  Sounds a little like a Jim Carey film.  No?  Well it's either us who have to change or it's the electronic devices.  I get to the point of giving up and then pick up a book.  Yep.  I'm then forced to read something and be active. 

Mind the main reason I wanted my PC to actually work was to write a blog.  I've done one each evening for the last few days and now it's like wondering how many days I can do it in a row before missing one out.  I'm on a roll.  Not to be confused with rolling a PC down a hill to see how fast it gets to the bottom.  This thing certainly wouldn't get far.  But it has served me well.  The one thing I can say is it has been loyal.  Then it is an inanimate object, eats electricity and is regularly attended by a human being.  So why the bloody ell is it playing up now?  I give you everything and now you act like this.  Calm down.  It's inanimate.  It can't feel, because if it did it would soon feel my boot up it's arse.  Lucky thing.

Tourettes with biscuits instead

I was listening to the serious morning radio news and interview show called the Today program when an article come up about tourettes.  A woman who had this illness was interviewed.  The typical impression I get from tourettes is of someone who can not help themselves but swear every few words while talking.  It's involuntary, lend itself to comedy sketches and always leaves you wondering if these people are really ill or whether it is an excuse to swear out loud all the time.  I know the odd person who can't help themselves by swearing incessantly either.  However, those persons do it consciously.  In fact I myself have had this tendency on a temporary basis as well.  So the interview began, of course I knew it must of been recorded and expected there to be a few hundred bleeps all the way through it.  But there wasn't.  There was maybe one bleep.  For this woman's tourettes was not centred on swearing, she had replace the F-word with "biscuits,"  very odd.  There were other involuntary intrusions in her speech one was "cake."  It turns out from what she informed the listener only about ten per cent of tourettes sufferers do actually swear.  Well all I could think was there must be a hell of a lot of them because those are the ones who usually get all the publicity.  For biscuits certainly doesn't sound as offensive as the F-word.  I mean.  If I were to hit my finger or thumb even with a hammer while doing some hammering I don't think I would shout out biscuits.  Biscuits just doesn't cut the mustard, it doesn't carry the gravitas, the impact the frank and shocking retort as the F-word does.  So personally my choice would be the F-word.  Which you could saw was a reactive form of tourettes, a temporary an necessary form which a great many people in the world do have, temporary tourettes syndrome.  Bought on by accidents and unforeseen events.  That's life, or the F-word.

However, even if the F-word may have an omission in the majority of tourettes cases it doesn't mean it is out of fashion.  No.  It is something which has to be used wisely and when impact is necessary.  I recall when as I child we moved house, I attended a different primary school and then went on to secondary.  I had not actually heard a swear word I believe, not in real life until I was ten or eleven years old.  More likely eleven.  I had a crazy family but swearing wasn't part of home life.  Things happened at home but the F-Word didn't.  So at this young age I encountered another young lad who did actually swear.  His swearing rolled off his tongue with such ease.  He didn't say it emphatically because he'd just hit his thumb, broken a finger or had tourettes, he swore without any hard emotional meaning.  I was miffed.  I could understand what he was saying but couldn't understand why he had a need he should swear.  What did it mean?  He was also one of the smokers, those who thought they were more mature and went behind the cycle sheds or the back of the school or just outside the grounds of the school to have a crafty fag.  Smoking put these kids in a league of their own.  They didn't consider stunted growth or lung disease was anything for them to worry about and swearing was a common part of the communication with everyone else.  So not to feel left out of the in-crowd a lot of other kids would also do their bit and swear as well.  We were rebels.  No, saying that it was a hard school, most kids came from working class poor families.  School like it is nowadays was more of adult supervision while parents went to work.  Glorified baby sitting by any other name.  The notion of exams to get a career was preposterous, it was leave school and go to work.  Of course the one thing most of us didn't do was swear at home, because it would of resulted in instant and immediate physical assault.  Who said kids don't learn from punishment most likely hadn't had a slapping from the hand of a working class mother.  It certainly did knock some sense into you, that and having no choice but watching soaps on TV every night.  I regress.  Lets just say swearing was not a consideration when life was hard enough by itself.  I learn late, and so now only save my F-words for special occasions.

On occasions though when my self conscious radar kicks in and I realise I am swearing I then substitute the F-word for my very own adopted not tourettes word.  It also is related to food and is "sugar," I can say it without causing any offence and I know in normal cicumstances were I allowed by my Super-ego I'd be saying the F-word.  What I have learnt in my late learner style is the F word does have a place and is a necessity, if not for the ten percent tourettes population it does for those of us who occasionaly have impulsive behaviour as well.  It certainly doesn't take the biscuit, that's for sure.

It's all about perception, not reality

Given the ongoing inability to get access to the Internet the laptop purchase has a temporary home with Layabout and family.  I think the term laptop is a misnomer and it should be called a desktop.  A portable desktop.  My idea of what a laptop is against the reality is two different things.  A little like the weather.  It's April and the temperature has dropped, it's also been raining.  Rain makes sense but to wake up and find there is frost on the grass is quite a different expectation.  It's certainly all down to expectation.  The laptop is just like frost in April, it's out of place with expectations.  Unless there is something wrong with my perceptions.  I don't know is all I can say for now.

I've been thinking recently about a subject which would be good to write about.  Good because I find it easy.  However at the same time I have wondered whether I am qualified.  It's a bit like a discussion I've had with L & B man.  He has advised about a manager who has bought into play a new way of working.  This is in line with what is called LEAN.  LEAN is not just a management method, it's a completely different way of seeing the world in a workplace situation.  The individual who had bought in this LEAN methodology I am sure had not been personally trained by the Japanese, he had used it before in a different organization.  I'm guessing what he did was sell it when he had an interview.  This is called 'solution selling.'  Where as an interviewee you bring into the arena a solution the interviewers get hooked on.  It's done by researching an organization, finding out what the problems of the organization are and then when attending the interview present a solution to their problems.  Hence solution selling.  In the end it gets the job, and is likely to be something which more middle to higher managers could do.  For management is a woolly thing, anyone can do it, but can anyone do it well?  I think not.  However, everyone does think they do it well.  The individual in question sold himself in the interview and pointed out they had experience in bringing in LEAN management methods in other organizations.  They sold themselves therefore on a second front, as a pseudo expert.  Further anyone into LEAN management speak like to think they know it all.  There is so much to it, it would be impossible to know it all, however, management is more than just understanding what a Zeitgeist movement is, it's about handling people as well as many other softer, woollier skill sets.  I've really detracted here from the subject I was thinking of writing about because it is nothing to do with LEAN, and this was just an example.  Further I don't want to actually say what it is.  It's like telling everyone you are going on a diet to lose weight, immediately telling a host of people means you're doomed to failure.  Not that I'd go to a weight watchers club and say I was there for the fun of it, which would be a bit perverse.  So I'll not say what it is I want to write about but will skirt around the subject.

So using all these examples.  The interview panel perceived an interviewee was capable of being a manager because he sold them a solution but the reality was he probably had little training at all and might of read an article in the Reader's Digest.  The result was he got the job and a lovely salary to go with it.  He also gets to play in an organization at showing he knows something, when he knows his perception of something, not the actual thing (LEAN).  When I bought my laptop come tabletop computer my view was of a device I could use on the Internet, a device which was portable and with a keyboard which lent it to typing more than any other item available on the market.  I'd hoped it would not be too heavy either.  The reality against my perception is a kitchen sink with taps on it.  Lastly, we may all consider April as a Spring month the reality is we are put out of place because it's not what it says on the tin.  Not so far anyway.  These three scenarios have all produced mismatches and so likely disappointments.  The only way to combat these items now is to amend those perceptions which were in place at the start. 

Therefore it is about how we see the world, I perceive therefore I see.  When it should be I see and now I perceive.  If anyone has understood this then they deserve a medal.  Something wrapped in silver foil with chocolate on the inside.

Windows 7 doesn't support USB internet connection

Well continuing with the laptop saga, it seems I may have a problem.  The laptop is new and the operation system is Windows 7.  Hmmm. in normal circumstances I might drool hearing this, but I'm beginning to think the thing is never going to get connected to the Internet.  For my connection is via a USB rooter and after a trawl on Google it looks like Windows 7 does not support physical connections to USB rooters.  This is a typical failure of bringing together old and new technology.  They just don't mix.  They are like oil and water.  In fact I'd probably get more response from throw a bucket of water over the whole thing.  The bottom line looks to be I have to get into the twentieth century and find out what wireless connections are all about.  What a bloody palaver.  A thing which should be simple is turning out not to be so simple after all. 

If it carries on at this rate I'll have to put an ad in the local rag.  One unused laptop, one frustrated owner, Internet not included but does have a batter.

Thoughts on a laptop

I've got my first ever laptop, it arrived today.  I wish I had got home earlier to see it.  Opening up a box is exciting, but I'm not too sure about it.  For although the box opening was a minor thrill, the event isn't as wonderful as I might of hoped.  I'm not sure if it is the product or I just see the whole thing as more of an everyday tool and nothing to write home about.  It's like having a movie on TV, but the movie requires your full attention because it's deep but you just don't have a deep head on, you're in the frame of mind for a no brainier.  It's not satisfying at this moment, even though the movie could be the best ever.  It just doesn't fit your present frame of mind and expectations.  Not only this, the laptop is more like a table top than a lap top.  My laptop man bag I bought a year ago can only accommodate the thing at a stretch.

Maybe I didn't consider fully why I got the thing in the first place?  The reason for getting it was to write and as a study aid, it's not for entertainment although the first thing I have done is load several gig of music on it.  I've also put Open Office but not loaded the program.  So at the moment I'm trying to figure out what I've done, why I've done it and if my mind will change at some other time.  Perhaps I am going through a change, or have gone through a change and no longer value material things as important. It is really a tool, this is the primary reason I have it.  If I were at work I'd treat it with the same curiosity, where tools are used to get things done, not for their appearance, beauty or aesthetics.

I'm sure this thing has a purpose and I will get used to it,  but not at this moment.  Unless I've got the wrong laptop and should of got something smaller.  Thing is it's all in the keyboard and the key actions, this is the reason why I got this particular brand it's known for the keyboard.  I don't need a monitor as big as it is, but at the same time if I'd got a smaller version then the keyboard would of been smaller as well.  The trade off doesn't work.  I want a full size keyboard, however, then if I got a full size keyboard it would never fit in a laptop bag.  It would be worse than lugging a kitchen sink around with me.  No bag would take it.  I'm now left with no choice but to put up with the thing for a few weeks.  Test drive it and see how I get on with it, otherwise it could be loaned out on a semi permanent basis.  Monster Boy and Layabout would certainly make use of it.  Then if they had their hands on it, it would never be the same again.  Laptops are personal to this extent.

I know, maybe I just need to hit the stationary shop and purchase another notepad.  I like paper pads with lines.  Coloured pens and highlighters never fail to create dilated pupils.  Like the Stones song goes, you don't always get what you want, but you get what you need.  I'll change my name to Mick and try a little shuffle dance in tight jeans.  No, better stick with the laptop at least it will not result in my thorax being squeezed like a a wasp's.

The boy who knows a lot about Star Wars

I took a bicycle ride this morning with Little Monster Boy along the Thames.  The sun was out but there was also a chilly breeze.  We kept warm by exercising, if I was walking I'd of been cold.  There was the occasional jogger as well, I saw them and thought of my knee which seems to be shot up at the moment.  I may never jog again with the way it felt after the first Sunday jog. (See earlier blog)  All the same it was nice to get out in the sun with no particular purpose.  Monster didn't say a great deal which was unusual, sometimes he can't help but blabber and  blabber and then I feel my ears are about to drop off.  He revealed how he likes listening to the radio.  Unfortunately it seems he enjoys sports (footy) when he does.  It looks like he is going to become another one of those men who talks nothing but football as though it is the only thing which matters in life.  I hope he doesn't grow up in that same tiring mould.  At the moment it is Star Trek and Star Wars.  He can't make up his mind which one to specialise in.  He knows more about Star Wars but can't help a liking for Star Trek as well.  For the time being the Simpson's is just something he must watch without fail but he does not talk about it.  However, he will rush home disregarding social niceties just to watch an episode.  His internal clock is gauged by the Simpson's TV times.  The short ride was enjoyable and I stopped a few times to take photographs.

I like taking photos and did so on this ride, whether is is sea gulls or blocks of flats I can't help it.  If I could I'd wear a camera on my belt all the time.  Instead I make do with my out of date mobile phone just so nobody thinks I'm a nob head for carrying a camera.  I know quite a lot about taking pictures, or so I think.  I know more stuff than the average picture taker, put it that way.  This knowledge and experience can more than make up for someone who has a great camera but just doesn't think about taking pictures.  It's not just about exposure and quality of image, it's also about being in the right position and the right place at the right time.  About having an eye.  I can see things the average person can't.  I know the automatic flash will kick in on a night picture and only capture close objects, I will then cancel the flash and hold the camera rock still using anything around me as an aid.  My knowledge of how light effects a photograph allows me to compensate exposures in different settings.  For example if I had to take a picture directly into sun light, in the snow, while it's raining, at night etc etc.  But I also like to take pictures of stuff others might think is boring.  Such as graffiti.   Many different subjects capture my imagination, it's a mix of eclectic images others would find puzzling. From Sparkling's influence I now understand it is better to have people in a picture who can be recognised.  If you see them the picture holds more meaning.  It becomes sentimentally important and more.  People are important and they like to see themselves as well.  Of course always their best side.

It's Sunday.  The bicycle ride was a bit like a holiday event.  Tomorrow I'm back at the Fish Factory.  I've already done part of a week but next week will be a full work week.  Unless I can get an afternoon off.  Only a few days ago I was in Poland, with nothing much to do other than sight see and enjoy food and drink.  Did you know Vodka is name after the Polish word for water, "woda."  Looking on holidays away is an odd thing, because the time away is viewed through different eyes.  Relaxed eyes.  For those who live and work in Poland there was no perceptual change to how they saw the world.  However, as a tourist there is.  You tend to see things through tourist eyes.  I miss Sparkling.  It doesn't even matter if I'm on holiday I miss Sparkling.  I'll just have to book another week off and head up North.  There's a bottle of Woda in Sparkling's kitchen which has my name on it.  It's called Red Oak.  A shot goes down very smoothly.  So the moral really comes down to frame of mind.  It doesn't matter where you are, on holiday or not on holiday, it's how you choose to see it which matters.

There's a saying I've heard a hundred times.  But even if I repeated it a hundred times it wouldn't mean it has gone in.  It has been understood, which takes something else completely. It is:

"no one can hurt you but yourself."

I think this is to do with our own perception of life and it's events.  A more formal saying has come from the stoic philosopher, Epictetus.  He said:

"We are disturbed not by things, but the view we take of them." (abridged)

I have been thinking a lot about this lately.  The concept and the words are simple.  Understanding them and putting them into action is not.  For example.  Monster Boy discussed with me his parents, how they would embarrass him at times, how his mum would think he was being sarcastic and punish him for his sarcasm by saying he could not play on his games' consul.  I spoke to him about parents and advised as he grew up he may indeed learn and know more than they have.  His decisions in life may be better, but they would always know how to get on his nerves.  They knew more about him than any other person in the world.  Once he understood this and accepted it he would feel better about it.  I don't know if he heard what I said, but he thought about if for a moment or two and particularly liked the bit about being smarter than his own mum.  As far as Star Trek and Star Wars is concerned is smarter than me as well.  Little smart arse.

Grand National Day

Today was the Grand National.  It comes but once a year and it is like an accepted norm to have a little flutter.  I put bets on three different horses and made them each way.  OK it cost a little more and by choosing three horses my belief was the odds were much more in my favour.  However, this was not so. It was another day of loss, just like those over the last few years where my bets have not come in.  One of the horses I bet on was put down as it had broken or fractured it's leg badly.  Last night when I was in the pub I said to my fellow drinkers how I had failed to select a winner each year and suggested whatever it was I betted on they should not choose for themselves.  What an epitaph.  Here lay the world's greatest loser!  How can it be possible year after year to make a bet and to consistently lose?  Statistically surely there has to of been a likelihood I would of won on one occasion, unless of course all my luck is being saved up and it will occur all at once.  It's like the national lottery, I would select my six balls each week for two years and I barely ever got a single ball picked up from the lotto machine.  Somewhere in the world there is another person who is having my share of luck.  If luck is dished out at birth then I must of been getting my arse spanked at the time and missed the cue.  It's another to make a grown man cry let alone a baby.  Maybe I should never be a gambler, not even the once a year kind it's clearly an aversive activity to lucky streak.  Or rather an enhancer to my losing streak.  I don't mind losing, just not as often at it appears I have been.  I mean, man can not live by bread alone, a lucky ticket helps every once in a while.

The choice of horses this year was based on their name rather than on their form.  I had used form before and it didn't work, so I thought why bother this time round.  My three geegees were chosen because I just liked what they were called, each name had some kind of hit-you-in-the-face coincidence about them.  I thought such coincidences were omens.  They should be followed, pursued because of their underlying meaning, whatever it may be.  Well, if they had meaning it was lost on me.  The winner had a weird name and I would never of chosen it in any circumstances because of it's name.  Neptune Collange I think it was called.  Except for the Neptune bit it was a forgettable name.  Except the horse was pale.  Apparently the first grey to win the National since 1961.  Which is sometime ago.  There were about five or six pale horses in he race and had I just selected all of them then y chances   would of been somewhat higher. If there is a next time and I go for colour then I'm sure it will be the wrong one as well.  Such is the luck of the unlucky.

Regardless it was a good afternoon at the pub.  Layabout Lad came with me and he said it was fun.  I put a bet on for him and he said it was the first time he had betted.  As he doesn't have much in the way of funds, its unlikely he will do it again anytime soon.  But he enjoyed the change and it was good to get him out of his room.  Maybe next time I will just roll a pair of dice and cross my fingers, mind it was for the fun not any other reason.  However, if I do come up on the lottery one day, the millions would come in handy, then I'd by my own race horse and call it Lucky.

Poof Juice in Poland

It was L & B man who said to me in his not so delicate way, while in Poland (Krakow) "have you got any poof juice?"  To tell the truth I wasn't entirely sure what he was talking about.  Maybe it was the Scottish accent, maybe it is because I am not in the know of what Poof Juice is.  It could be anything as far as I was concerned.  I asked what it was and got a reply "smellies."  We were about to go out and hit another Krakow  bar and he wanted to smell good.  It had been a long day and I must admit to getting more stinky myself the more weight I put on.  L & B man hit the bathroom and had a quick squirt of deodorant, that was the only thing I had bought along.  Always travel as light as you can when going abroad is my motto.  Sparkling is now just starting to understand this as well, I think I'm getting her trained in this one aspect of life.  While of course she trains me in all the other aspects of life.  It's a bit lopsided when I think about it.  So now I know what is meant when someone asks me about Poof Juice.  I also realise it is a colloquial and derogatory term which L & B man was using in referring to something which homosexual men were prone to wearing.  Yet, it was L & B who was making the request.  He's not gay by any means but he was the one who wanted the stuff.

In one of our shopping adventures in Krakow we hit a multi chain drug store.  Amongst the items on display were Man's perfume (EDT) or Poof Juice if you want to use the other phrase.  I spent some time looking at a large display of EDT.  Trying these out on sampler cards and sniffing them.  I looked at the from price and the to price.  They all had quite large from prices whilst the cut down to price was substantially lower.  I thought to myself this must be a great place to get a bargain.  The only problem was I didn't really know what the real price of any of these products was in the UK.  I was going on the notion of UK tax being higher than most of the world so what was on display had to be a bargain.  Together I and Sparkling picked up a bundle of items.  Her's included various pots of face cream which she said would last her for at least the next 3 years.  Mine had two different kinds of Poof Juice.  I liked their smell, especially the Givenchy Pi.  Hmmm.  But then again what a man thinks is a nice smell may not be what a woman thinks is a nice smell.  Together we spent over a £120 on a small basket of goods.  I went away quite happy, got back to the hotel room, smelled both of the EDT's and put one on.  It's always good to think you have got a bargain.  I felt warm inside, happy with myself for hunting out a bargain.  For not spending my hard earned cash in the UK for so long.  Making my own EDT last forever.  Until I checked Amazon.

Blow me down.  The same two Poof Juices were there on the screen.  The ones I bought and carried hundreds of miles from Poland under the belief I got a bargain.  They were cheaper.  CHEAPER.  I laughed to myself because it really doesn't matter too much anyway.  When I put them on I am reminded of Krakow and our short holiday there.  One thing Amazon can't give me.  The joy of opening up a parcel dropped of by the Post Office isn't nearly as warming.  Wonder if I should wear it in bed?  It could cover up the whiff from my farts, much better than a cork.

Two Americans in Krakow, Poland.

Yesterday I came back from Scotland, and a day earlier I was in Poland, Krakow to be exact. I always think it is incredible when returned from a holiday to think only a few hours ago I was in a different country some hundreds of miles away.   It was real.  I did it, have the photographs, drank the beer, vodka and mushroom zupa (soup) and even made a momentary Polish friend.  Who couldn't speak any English which was just as good because I couldn't speak any Polish.  He happened to be a doctor as well.  But even doctors sit in pubs, smoke and drink beer.  Yes.  In Poland you can smoke in the pub provided it is in the designated area where smoking is allowed.  Which was OK for the people I went with as they were all fumigators.   In a bar on two separate occasions we met Americans.

On the first occasion it was a woman.  She was from Chicago, was suffering from job burn out and had decided to see Europe.  Sparkling saw her looked at me and through her glazed sparkling eyes, because she'd drank a few vodkas at this stage said "you love her," I didn't know I loved her, Sparkling said I did.  It was just an American girl.  The truth being I hardly spoke to her at all, it was L & B man and the woman from the Revenues did.  Although the American girl seemed a lonely figure, at first she did not engage in conversation and sat quietly to one side.  My response to Sparkling she was the only one I loved, through dazed dizzy sparkly eyes her reply was "awe," followed by a flicked pointed finger.  Sparkling was happily merry, she lazily closed her eyes and had a hiccough under her breath.  These were to continue to plague Sparkles when she took the raspberry vodka.  Almost like clockwork.  Revenues woman was engrossed in conversation with the American girl.  After about an hour it seemed Revenues had enough of the American and left her with L & B man.  Revenues said the American girl was nuts.  She didn't seem to know where her heritage was and disagreed with Revenues woman over Schindler being a hero or not.  Her view was he was an opportunist capitalist.  She had read some literature on him and she also had a grand parent or mother who was either Jewish or German but knew more about it.  I can't say for sure because the conversation seemed oblique.  As some discussions are when you are sitting in the pub and suffering from a dodgy belly.  Krakow belly in my case.  About another half hour passed and we left with L & B man shortly leaving his conversation with the American Girl who may or may not of been nuts but clearly Revenues didn't quite like.

On a separate night we met the second American, a man.  The conversation barely lasted five to ten minutes and then he went off, but he left an impression.  He appeared confident and loud in my mind.  Immediately I saw him I took a dislike and thought he was a tosser.  He was asked by L & B man what it was which bought him to Poland.  The American man said "the girls."  This was followed by another comment which pissed me off even more, "why be a poor American in American when I can be a rich man in Poland?"  I thought he was abusing his relative wealth.  It's true, Polish people did not seem to me to have much of a mixture of the classes.  They appeared generally poorer.  But they also gave the impression of being very honest people.  They didn't like to be over tipped I found.  Although there was the one or two who would accept large tips at the bar or possibly over charge.  Generally speaking they seemed like very respectable people.  Of course I'd be careful about their Police, because I've heard stories.  I won't go into them.  I liked the Polish people and even leaned to say Thank-you in Polish.  The American didn't give the impression he respected them or anything else, the impression he gave was he would take advantage of them, and probably frequented prostitutes because relatively speaking they were probably a lot cheaper by his standard of prostitute.  It was no surprise after this very short time Sparkling through her dizzy haze said to me "you see him, he is all I hate about Americans," this was followed by "when he comes back I'm going to knock him out."  She might of been inebriated but I certainly wouldn't of put it past Sparkling to have tried to of landed a punch on the American.  She repeated this a couple of times.  The American man didn't come back.  He probably had a sense.  If he had though and even faintly responded to Sparkling had responded back, both I and L & B man would of waded in for a full bar brawl.  Regardless of having Krakow belly or not. The girl and the man were two very different people.

We may be going again to Krakow in December, our taxi driver told us it could get as cold as minus 25 degrees at this time.  The prospect of this doesn't excite me, however I'm sure a chilled vodka would go down even better.  Then I can purchase a real Russian hat as well.  Better get the phrase book out and learn some more words.  Now, how do you say? "no raspberry vodka thanks, it gives me the hiccoughs."