I was listening to the serious morning radio news and interview show called the Today program when an article come up about tourettes. A woman who had this illness was interviewed. The typical impression I get from tourettes is of someone who can not help themselves but swear every few words while talking. It's involuntary, lend itself to comedy sketches and always leaves you wondering if these people are really ill or whether it is an excuse to swear out loud all the time. I know the odd person who can't help themselves by swearing incessantly either. However, those persons do it consciously. In fact I myself have had this tendency on a temporary basis as well. So the interview began, of course I knew it must of been recorded and expected there to be a few hundred bleeps all the way through it. But there wasn't. There was maybe one bleep. For this woman's tourettes was not centred on swearing, she had replace the F-word with "biscuits," very odd. There were other involuntary intrusions in her speech one was "cake." It turns out from what she informed the listener only about ten per cent of tourettes sufferers do actually swear. Well all I could think was there must be a hell of a lot of them because those are the ones who usually get all the publicity. For biscuits certainly doesn't sound as offensive as the F-word. I mean. If I were to hit my finger or thumb even with a hammer while doing some hammering I don't think I would shout out biscuits. Biscuits just doesn't cut the mustard, it doesn't carry the gravitas, the impact the frank and shocking retort as the F-word does. So personally my choice would be the F-word. Which you could saw was a reactive form of tourettes, a temporary an necessary form which a great many people in the world do have, temporary tourettes syndrome. Bought on by accidents and unforeseen events. That's life, or the F-word.
However, even if the F-word may have an omission in the majority of tourettes cases it doesn't mean it is out of fashion. No. It is something which has to be used wisely and when impact is necessary. I recall when as I child we moved house, I attended a different primary school and then went on to secondary. I had not actually heard a swear word I believe, not in real life until I was ten or eleven years old. More likely eleven. I had a crazy family but swearing wasn't part of home life. Things happened at home but the F-Word didn't. So at this young age I encountered another young lad who did actually swear. His swearing rolled off his tongue with such ease. He didn't say it emphatically because he'd just hit his thumb, broken a finger or had tourettes, he swore without any hard emotional meaning. I was miffed. I could understand what he was saying but couldn't understand why he had a need he should swear. What did it mean? He was also one of the smokers, those who thought they were more mature and went behind the cycle sheds or the back of the school or just outside the grounds of the school to have a crafty fag. Smoking put these kids in a league of their own. They didn't consider stunted growth or lung disease was anything for them to worry about and swearing was a common part of the communication with everyone else. So not to feel left out of the in-crowd a lot of other kids would also do their bit and swear as well. We were rebels. No, saying that it was a hard school, most kids came from working class poor families. School like it is nowadays was more of adult supervision while parents went to work. Glorified baby sitting by any other name. The notion of exams to get a career was preposterous, it was leave school and go to work. Of course the one thing most of us didn't do was swear at home, because it would of resulted in instant and immediate physical assault. Who said kids don't learn from punishment most likely hadn't had a slapping from the hand of a working class mother. It certainly did knock some sense into you, that and having no choice but watching soaps on TV every night. I regress. Lets just say swearing was not a consideration when life was hard enough by itself. I learn late, and so now only save my F-words for special occasions.
On occasions though when my self conscious radar kicks in and I realise I am swearing I then substitute the F-word for my very own adopted not tourettes word. It also is related to food and is "sugar," I can say it without causing any offence and I know in normal cicumstances were I allowed by my Super-ego I'd be saying the F-word. What I have learnt in my late learner style is the F word does have a place and is a necessity, if not for the ten percent tourettes population it does for those of us who occasionaly have impulsive behaviour as well. It certainly doesn't take the biscuit, that's for sure.
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