Our house has a small garden and behind it there is a set of flat roofed garages and a path which goes around the garages to a back gate. Between one set of garages there is a space of about six feet then there is another set of flat garages. At times teenage boys will climb on top of these garages and jump from one set across to the other. They can be a nuisance especially for Big Momma who although barely five foot tall goes out into the back garden waves her fist at them and even tells them to "feck off." She also says out loud "stop using this short cut," a comment which only lodges into their little minds as if to say these garages are a short cut and they should be treated as such. To the lads seeing a 73 year old woman acting in this way there is very little impact. They laugh it off, and see it as a dare or entertainment. As there's is usually a gang of them (five or six) they may see the crazy old woman as just a crazy old woman and running and jumping on garages as even more fun. She adds to the situation. Her reaction is like icing on top of a pretty plain cake. I have seen the lads at times and the one thing I've tried to do is not react. The way I see it there's not much I can really do in this situation. This evening as I sat at my computer I heard voices from the back and feet. It was apparent they had decided to come back.
I looked from behind the curtain and could see them. They seemed to be sauntering about as if they were in no rush to do anything or be anywhere. Like they wanted to be seen in the act, they get more street cred then, it's all part of their little adventure and something to boast about later on. The light was on and I don't know if they could see me. I kept myself as calm as I could although just a little nerved. After all they were trespassing on the garages and there was a group of them. I stopped and thought for a moment, but I knew one thing, making a spectacle would be no good and to be wary about getting Big Momma involved, she'd just make things worse. In a moments reflection I then thought I had to get my camera, pictures of them would be evidence and could be seen by anyone if worse came to worse. I went downstairs and then put my boots on, with camera in hand I opened the back door and stood there.
Their attention was drawn to the door as it opened. I'm sure they expected the crazy woman to be there as well. It may have been different seeing a man stand there. I looked at them for a very short moment and said "alright," they looked at me. I think the odd one may have seen my camera, but I didn't attempt to take any pictures of them. A hood went up. I got a couple of "alright" replies and they then looked at the gap between the garages and chose to climb down. Using a wall which divides our garden with the garages. I don't know whether it was my presence there as a man or my presence there as someone who didn't react to them which would of been more of what they were expecting which led to them deciding to leave. I didn't raise my camera up to take a picture and this could also have been a factor. Something which may have made them feel uneasy. I am hoping it was my complete unexpected way of reacting they found did not add to their adventurous outing. I am glad Big Momma didn't come out and see what was happening, she was engrossed in the TV. Had she gone out if may have turned out quite differently. As they walked off, I made a small attempt to get the last one into conversation. It was only a sentence which passed between the pair of us. I asked if he had tried free running. He replied they were and it was the way they were dressed. In baggy track cheap track suit bottoms. Of course though, this was just something he said it was of no real value as was my question. However like it or not a momentary very brief conversation had taken place. He'd see I was not an ogre or crazy and I could see as I thought they were just a group of lads.
On the negative side it is groups of teenage lads like this which can easily engage in anti social behaviour. Egged on because of the way other people react to them or because in a group it is a laugh. From a semi benign situation their behaviour could escalate into something worse if given the energy from which to react. They may come back again and they may not. If they do I'll just stay as calm as I can, not react and again try to engage them in conversation, build a bridge so to say, maybe from one garage to the other.
I have read something recently in respect of communicating with people. It goes along the lines of, before you can tell someone how you feel about a thing you have to first listen to them. The more you listen and show you understand what they are saying, then the more likely they will give you the opportunity to say what you want. However, seek to understand and speak less than seeking to be understood. Words are valuable things when used in the right way, right amount, with respect and consideration and above all with an unexpected calm response.
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