I got married, and walked with Mary Poppins on Halloween

Well it happened, after many years I got married to Sparkling Eyes, it was a registry office do on the 19th October 2019. She's the most beautiful and perfect woman there could be in my world, not because she tells me nobody else would have me, but because I love her ridiculously. And in order to solidify our relationship a lot more Sparkling Eyes has put up with my farting, hugging and loving her since. It will be a three and a half week period of her company before I head off back to the Old Smokey and return to work and a different life. Now  a ring is on my finger. The finger hasn't gone blue with cut off blood circulation, and there may well have been moments when it had to be removed so the washing up could be done, but now it is quite nicely settled and the start of a distinctive ring finger mark is imprinting itself. This three and a half week period of wedding bliss is wonderful, this here is my woman, I'm here man and now I have a legitimate claim of a wonderful beautiful family who have been discussed many a time during these blogs. Though they've been infrequent of late. I'll do my best to write a few more blogs and maybe refresh my picture on the profile. Perhaps the biggest problem has been too much time spent keeping up with social media and the BREXIT crisis. Oh for a little bit of humour to brighten the day.

This period (just married time) is otherwise going to be referred to as the long hug, because the most magical thing in the world is a hug and there's been lots of them happening. Even an old geezer in his late 50s enjoys a hug from his new wifey, and enjoys the company of a wonderful family.

Last night was Halloween, little Princess J all 6 years of age dressed up as Mary Poppins and insisted she be taken around the houses in order to fill up her felt bucket with sweets. It is probably a time of year where the dentist gets a little excited or depressed, depending very much on the dentist as he sees his younger customers turn up to get their mouths checked. It didn't matter much to Princess J for she likes sweets and doesn't think about small things like visiting the man in a white coat who can inflict bouts of pain with a little prod here or there.

So we knocked on a number of doors, the vast majority were not opened and at the start of our trek it got to feeling my little Princess wasn't going to get much in the way of treats. After a few houses we went to a tenement block. These have about 8 flats in them and require walking up flights of stairs rather than through front gardens and knocking at doors. When in the tenement block it is hard to tell if anyone is in the property as there are no front windows with lights, just a small stair well and a door, usually solid with a number or letter and a peep hole. The first door Princess knocked at and there was no reply. She then turned around took a few steps to the other side of the stairwell and knocked on a second door. We waited. it seemed quiet but then there was a noise behind the door. It opened and out wafted a plume of cannabis smoke, pungent but of course calm and chilled. A young woman disappeared back into the flat and came out with a plastic pumpkin, she knelt down to the same height as Princess J and took a handful of sweets to drop them in our little Princess's bag. We thanked them. And so this first success led and inspired us onwards to knock on another two or three dozen doors to which various sweets and chocolates were put in to the mini Mary Poppins' bag.

There were lots of ghouls, skeletons and various other scary creatures out that night, but only a single mini Mary Poppins, the one, who's hand I held and watched over as she ran up to the doors to give them a gentle tap. When we returned to the house she was so excited and happy. But the celebrations were not over. For of all things she wanted to do it was to bob apples. This was a must. Now I'm not particularly happy with bobbin my head in a bucket to fish out an apple, the thought of cold water and getting it up my nose while half drowning just doesn't float my boat. Funnily enough neither did

it seem to work for Sparkling Eyes or Rock Chick, both had expressed they were not going to do it and both had said it was Pops duty to do. Bloody ell. Mary hadn't forgotten about it, the knocking on doors and bucket of sweets hadn't worked as an amnesiac. Sparkling went and got a large plastic container and filled it with water, Rock Chick found some apples and dropped two in the water. Mary Poppins took first go and within a few seconds had came back up with her apple. It took her no time at all. Being suspicious I asked her to keep an eye on Sparkling and Rock and said they were not allowed to push my head down. The bucket was on the floor, hesitantly my head went down, someone was pushing or holding it into the water. Up I came to laughter of Sparkling and Rock, complaining they should not hold me down and again saying to Mary don't let them drown your Pops. This happened about 4 times each time I came up the girls were laughing and I had a strong suspicion Mary Poppin joined in, Pops didn't drown and though mildly unpleasant had a wonderful time as well.

Moral of story, even a married man might have to face attempted drowning by his most loved wife, but it will be OK.

Sparkling gets told on by Princess J

Sparkling told me the other day how she got told on by Princess J, all of nearly two years of age. So there is Sparkling in her car waiting on Rock Chick to come out of work to give her a lift and little Princess J is strapped in her chair in the back seat. So Rocks asks the usual question "how was your day?" to which Princess J actually answers, and says:



 "Princess on TV and Gaga say No. "

To which both Rock and Sparkling laugh, because Sparkling has now been grassed up by her grand daughter who.  Little Princess J was trying to watch a program on TV about Princesses and it was time to leave the house and pick up Rock.  Sparkling said "no" and said it a number of times, turned the TV off and headed for the car.  Now Sparkling tells me she has a set routine as well for taking Princess J out in the car.  She first put's Princess J in the driver's seat, where she stands on the seat and pretends she is driving the car with her hands on the wheel. She absolutely loves this. While she is laughing at this fun game Sparkling then has time to load up the car with whatever needs to be put into it.  She gives Princess J a few minutes to enjoy her pretend driving and then straps her in the back seat.  It is so funny when I think of the cheeky little girl who just about can see over the driving wheel when she is standing up.  She is so full of energy and so funny because she is an expressive little girl. Her emotions and thoughts can not be hidden, what she feels she shows and you can't help but love her in everything she does. She is a ray of sunshine.

When talking about Princess J's character both I and Sparkling agree it is as though she has taken two traits from her parents.  How she has inherited or learned them is unknown and it seems these are the kind of traits you would only understand if you knew both her parents.  First is the quiet determination and obstinacy of Rock Chick and secondly the emotional expression of Dangerous Sports lad.  With Rock she knows what she wants, she then goes and gets it in her persistent way, and with Dangerous he just cant help being expressive even if holding back his feelings would be to his advantage he just cant, sometimes he is a little girly about it.  This is fine because in Princess J those girlishness attitudes are OK,. unfortunately doesn't show much of her girly side, maybe it is early days. What I see is Princess J the girl who is going to lead the first all female expedition up Kilimanjaro or the South Pole. Sparkling told me once how they took Princess J to the park and let her run, well she took off and didn't turn back, they waited but still she didn't turn back.  When she walks she's just goes marching off in the direction she wants to go and doesn't look back either.  Maybe it's because she knows Gaga or Rock will be there chasing behind her to catch her, or maybe it's because she has her own mind.  I can see here one reason why people have children, it's the entertainment factor.  Of course this does not take second place to the enormous amount of love factor which comes first every single time.  You just can't help loving her.

Sparkling is hoping for a job to come through shortly.  This is doing a job she has done before, caring in the community.  The company she will be working for seems like a really nice company as well. The ethos has come from the founder of the company who did this work herself and then grew it up to over 400 employees.  She pays them well and her staff like working for her.  Most jobs of this description usually pay only minimum pay and this is also true of central London.  The value of work here is low, it is the job you get paid for and not how conscientious you are as an employee.

Sparkling is off tonight with her friends to see a spooky.  This is Scottish for clairvoyant.  It turned out the spooky was crap, she couldn't tell Sparkling there was an Englishman riding a bicycle and playing the ukulele in her life. Oh well, she can't be that spooky after all.

It all began with a drip and then a plumbing disaster

A few years back Sparkling had a external tap installed, to allow her to water the garden. It was put in using a kit bought from a large DIY store by her brother L & B man.  However, the pipe was made of a tough plastic, it ran under the kitchen mains, through the wall and out onto the back garden wall.  It  had been taped into the mains probably by some kind of self tapping screw device.  When I saw it, I didn't like the thing. Outside taps should be permanent things attached to copper piping in my mind.  Then one day last year something happened and it began to leak under the sink. A constant drip, over time the entire kitchen lino floor got soaked. Sparkling had said to me it was squigy. It certainly was.  I pulled up the lino and all the floor boards were wet. Then to try and stop this I turned the valve off on the DIY bodge up version of an outside tap.  It stopped leaking and the kitchen was left with no floor covering for a few weeks in order to let the wood dry out.

However, even though I had said to Sparkling the tap should not be used because it needs to be repaired she decided to turn the valve on and use the hose.  Coming back into the house she turned the valve back off yet it did not stop dripping again.  She sent me a message asking where the adjustable spanner was because she was going to tighten it up.  After which I rang her and we had a conversation.  The spanner was probably lost, I said she should not touch the valve.  Sparkling on the other knew all it needed was a little tightening and it would be OK. I got chastised for being negative.  I advised she might need to get to the cock stop and I said this also wasn't properly working so it might mean getting a T bar.  In turn her reply was it would be unnecessary and it was silly to think the water had to be turned off.  I said she will probably need to ring the fire brigade if she didn't have a T bar. Which I knew she didn't.  Advising the best thing to do would be to call a plumber in because the pipe fitting should never of been put in anyway. Her response was how absurd was I being saying she'd need the fire brigade to come and turn the water off for the street. I was over exaggerating.  She could not understand the mains outside was just for her house and not and in comedic fashion laughed at me.  In defence I asked who knew more about plumbing myself or her.  This question was battered away like an irritating fly, with did I know how much it was going to cost to call a plumber on a Saturday.  I had an idea it was going to be expensive but I also knew Sparkling was going to do whatever she was going to do with or without my permission because whatever I said was of no meaning or value to her.  Now it was a matter of her being right and me being wrong.  She went next door and got a spanner.  I thought to myself, I'm going to stay out of this and let her get on with it.  In a couple of hours time I would text her and see how it went.


Sparkling enlisted more help from her neighbour and from L n B man, as she and they went at the valve with an adjustable spanner and tightened it up. The leak had stopped.  I sent a message asking if she needed to book a seat on the Ark.  She thought I was being cheeky and said it was all fine.  So the pessimist was wrong.

Two hours later.  Instead of a dripping valve it had become a gush.  Fortunately, Sparkling was still in the house, she had intended to go out but sat reading some political debates on her tablet.  It was during this restful period,  the bodge up fitting had exploded because she had over tightened it.. About this time I was watching a youtube videos and was overtaken by a Tango flash mob in Spain and sent a text to Sparkling saying I wanted to be in a flash mob.  There was no reply.  I left it at that wondering what more had happened.  In turn Sparkling called L & B man who came in record time.  She answered the door, she looked a mess, drenched, wet towels in her hands, very stressed out.  She'd already had 7 towels on the line and it had broken under the weight.  L & B man rescued the day, he stopped the water and rushed off to get the plumbing parts to fix it.  Somehow the washing machine also had to be re-plumbed back in and fortunately there already were some fittings left in

with the tools. 

I was glad that little Princess J was not there at the time. For she has some kind of affinity with water and when she says the word she says it in holy reverence, pronouncing it as Watt-eeerrrrr and inevitable awwe.  She's the kind of  2 year old who likes to do the washing up so she can play with the washing up water and also drink it even though it is dirty, and soapy.  It would suggest she might be a late developer but it is hard to tell at such a young age.  Maybe the brain cells will kick in at some point and she'll stop drinking the stuff and leave the poor cat alone rather than run after him shouting at the top of her lungs MOW.  Thinking of cat, I'm sure he made himself scare at this time.

Later in the evening I rang Sparkling and found out it was all my fault.  For I was the one who should of got the thing fixed, I was the one who should also have put up a new washing line and if I made any kind of a judgemental comment on the phone she was going to put it down on me and that would be the end of the conversation. She'd had an awful day.  It was difficult but I was as sympathetic as I could be and had to bite my tongue to stop myself saying the inevitable words "I told you so." I'm glad I didn't for Sparkling would of killed me when I next got the chance to see her.  For as always she says I get brave when I'm on the end of a telephone and not in person. The other thing about being on the phone is she would be able to tell I was smiling.  Memo to self, start watching more plumbing videos on Youtube because the flash mob ones will not be of any help next time this happens.

A boring Saturday

Well my Saturday has so far been a blank tablet, tabla rasa or to interpret a blank slate on which nothing has been achieved. Maybe not completely nothing, I did a film review of American Sniper and have been watching Youtube videos. The type of video I should not be watching. Ghosts, polotogiests, conspiracy theories about aliens and governments.  So all in all it has been a productive Saturday. Oh nearly forgot I'm still spending a good part of the day dabbling in a facebook online game which needs constant updating in order to progress.  This also is a solitary thing I do because I just don't like playing in a group even though the game is set up as a group activity. Why have facebook friends I'm never going to meet. In fact the definition of friend should also mean someone you actual see. Sparkling Eyes bombed me out this morning as she was doing her gardening so would not speak to me but we caught up this afternoon. At last.  The walls are not closing in on me so at the moment Cabin Fever is being kept at bay.  As a mild tangent to the day I checked the weather report only to find next Tuesday is predicted to have frost and possible snow.  Wonderful, so now it looks like Winter is dragging on to take down some of Spring as well. I don't know if it is me but it seems like we've had half a year of crap weather.

Yesterday I checked out facebook to see a picture of Princess J, whilst her mummy was out and daddy had fallen asleep she decided to get her little fingers on mummy's lipstick.  Although she probably ate as much as she got on her lips and cheeks.  I couldn't help but laugh and laugh. I have now seen the picture a dozen times and just love to see the Little Princess's cheeky face. This is the face of a mischievous adventurer who feels she has been put on this world to explore it in every sense. She has to get out and about and then she has to stay out and about as long as possible.  Not liking to be kept up locked indoors more than a day at most. Sparkling took Princess to a local children's playground, and while there she slid down the slide and then climbed up the slide, threw her dolly down the slide and then went down after it. On the swings she had to stand on the seat and hold on but when both I and Sparkling had our own hands on her to keep her safe she was unhappy, wriggled about and said "no" in her demanding voice. Like she knew what she was doing, what she wanted and it certainly did not involve any adult safety measures. She stood there and successfully managed to swing back and forth. I'll grant it was a gentle and small swinging motion while I and Sparkling had our hands at the ready to catch her.  She let go with one hand and began to fall forward. Sparkling was there. But Princess J did her own thing because it was what she wanted to do and she doesn't understand the consequences of what happens when she lets go.  All the time she smiled and laughed and had great fun.  It's amazing how infectious having fun with a small child can be. Maybe this is one of the reasons people have children, this as well as the enjoyment of making the child in the first place. lol.


It has not even been a week and I am missing Sparkling. In this evening's chat she told me how a pizza for two was calling out in her freezer waiting to be eaten, that she to missed me. I then saw an image of us in the kitchen with the pizza and putting our own choice of toppings on it. Sparkling would go for a generous helping of extra mature cheese, we'd throw extra green/red peppers ontop and when it came out there would be either chilli flakes or jalopeno peppers sliced up. It's good watching TV in Sparkling's company. I felt a tear or two trickle down from my eyes as I thought about it.  It will likely be about six or seven weeks before I get to see her again, so I'll just have to hold it together for the time being, book my leave and pay for a train ticket.

Sparkling wears her ring

It is unusual but today a Sunday I returned from Scotland back to London and will go to work tomorrow, the first day of 2015 at work.  It is not usual for me to return on Sunday's because I don't like to work a full first week at the Fish Factory. Working a part week helps me acclimatise and get back into the groove so to say. So next week is going to be tough going, if not for the work certainly for the realisation I need to do something about my eating and exercise habits for the new year as I've put on even more weight over the past chrimbo period.  When I left Sparkling's house she requested I phone her up which I generally do anyway when I return to London but this she asked. It was a little unusual but I didn't think a great deal about it. Until it was I got off the last train, opened the door and had drank my first cup of tea with a piece of cake.

I rang but Sparkling was not at home.  Leaving it for about thirty minutes I rang again. This time she answered. She asked if I missed her and I said I did, for when I get back to work and routine again I'll feel a little blue for sure.  Sparkling then told me she had found her engagement ring which I had given to her some years ago.  She put it on for the first time in years and it fitted perfectly, she had tried to send a photo of it on her finger to me but the picture message failed. Which admittedly was probably a good thing because I would likely have been quiet emotional over seeing it there.  So during the phone conversation Sparkling told me she had put the ring back on. A moment passed and I got a little choked up. She laughed as usual. Sparkling said she liked the feel of it on her finger and the way it made her feel inside.  I remember when we got it and looking in the jeweller's window.  She picked the ring from a cluster of similar ones, but it was different. It sparkles just like Sparkling's eyes sparkle and I know is a beautiful sight. The thought makes me happy she feels she can wear it again and she feels good about wearing it. Because of course it will mean some day we will be married.

My Christmas has been very busy and a very happy one, I helped do the things a partner should do, but maybe I thinks more washing up than normal and I got a real taste of what Sparkling has to do all the time.  Empty the cat's tray, throw the rubbish out, do the hoovering amongst other items. I'm getting well domesticated now. Oh how very happy I am, perhaps next week at work will not be so bad after all.

Sparkling's got a birthday

It's Sparkling's birthday today, and here I sit in London while she sits in Scotland, and I miss her because this is probably the first time in 16 years I've not been with her on this day.  I'll not say how old she is or even mention I could be considered as her toy boy in the circumstances, or only just in the circumstances.  Which she finds annoying and then in eight months time a loud reminder comes when she says I am old.  My birthday card which was sent by second class post arrived on time, which was great.  I put an effort into the card as well, using a few coloured pens to draw little things on it and make it stand out as personalised. Sad but I enjoyed pimping her card.  I had a little luck and managed to get a quick Skype call, during which Sparkles said I was looking old because there is grey in my beard.  She always points this out, it seems to give her some satisfaction. The camera does not lie, but there are times when it would be nice if it lied just a little bit.  Someone needs to invent software which automatically touches up the Skyped image, such as darkening grey beards, or hair and even taking away crows feet.  Such software would be more valuable than a session with a plastic surgeon. I don't know why cosmetic surgeons are called plastic as well, possibly on account of all those people who purchase their services and do so by credit card. Or even because of the stretched plastic look skin takes when it has been pinned back.  No such surgery for moi, I'm all natural and greying of course.  You gets what you see, like the software.

Amazon was used to place an order for Sparkling's birthday present and it has not turned up.  I should of realised it would take longer than expected these things always do.  The problem is there are three parts to this item and from different sellers. I'll request Sparkling not open any one of them until all three are there but this could fall on deaf ears. On account of Sparkles has a low patience threshold and likes things done right away. It goes more so with presents, it is curiosity. Way too much of it.

A subsequent Skype to Sparkling and I find she has opened one parcel of three so has a very good idea of what her prezzy is. darn. Next year it will be a donkey, lets see how she feels about that.

So when do I get to talk to my sweetheart?

Talking to Sparkling has become a nightmare. Today I got to talk to her for a grand total of eight minutes before the conversation came to an end. She is busy, so busy the love of her life isn't able to communicate. At this moment I feel like having a complete and utter hissy fit over it. Each lunchtime I try to chat but she gets L & B man turn up. Each evening I try to chat but can not guarantee because either she is out seeing Rock Chick and Babyfro or she's at work.  The times I am available she's not. The times I can get to talk to her someone else is. The only method of talking to my love is phone and if someone else is on the scene this is cut short or just doesn't happen. I'm now feeling neglected. I wouldn't mind if I was a garden weed, because garden weeds thrive on neglect, in fact they love neglect, but I'm not. I'm me. So I don't know what to do.  The time I spend with Sparkling on the phone is the most precious part of my day, every single second talking to her is wonderful. It helps to balance my mind and pull me on course to understand the important thing in my life, which is of course Sparkling. So I'm bloody pissed off.  I've lost my rudder, it's been broken off and non incommunicado. I now got a mind now not to even bother texting and let he text me when she feels the need, when she feels she is missing me, because I've had it. It is like nobody else who actually gets to see Sparkling understands how valuable my phone time is with her, that or they don't give a shit. And if Sparkling doesn't give a shit then it's worse. I need my rudder, I need my chats, I need to hear you Sparkling, where are you?

Sparkling blows her top

One of the things I absolutely love about Sparkling Eyes is how she expresses her opinion an various matters. She is pretty passionate this way. More so when I am wrong and she is right about something. Which of course I must be wrong even if I "think" I am right.  This I  happens to be the nature of relationships.  Or, of our particular relationship. For no matter how much status I might have in my workplace, which seems like little at times. My status in the Sparkling household is below the Olly the cat.  He will tell anyone this is true.  So at times when I do something without thinking, like for example ask technophobic Sparkling to save a file on her computer, then I am in the wrong because I should know otherwise. It might be because all women are always right and all men are always wrong. However, it was my fault for sending the file to her, even though she asked for it, but didn't know what to do next.  

Sparkling is worth a lot more than she gets paid and she doesn't get paid much. She works behind the bar and kitchen of an establishment.  It is also true in reverse for this saying.  A lot of well paid individuals are not worth their actual paid. Be they politicians, civil servants or private company employees, such as bankers, accountants and sales executives.  Sparkling is smart, she is passionate and she is socialistic. Which may be unfortunate for any person who has the belief they are better than anyone else.  Last night she'd had enough of being spoken to in a demeaning way by those she works for. They have given her a new contract of employment which makes her employment position more tenuous than it has ever been, considering the state of the employment market and the dire position of the economy. So when an individual said to Sparkling her opinion didn't matter, I thought he must of had either a bullet proof vest on or a wish to die. Saying such a thing to Sparkling was waving a red flag in front of a pretty pissed of bull and having nowhere to run. To clarify, Sparkling asked "what did you just say?" Personally I'd of started to apologize at this moment, and thrown in some grovelling.  Being stupid this individual just happened to repeat what he said. An exceedingly stupid thing.   Sparkling then let rip, saying how many bosses she had, how none of them understood or knew how difficult her job was, how she'd got a new contract, how little she got paid and who they did they think they were. The man who did this began to drop his head, he could not even look at Sparkling, like a scolded dog his tail dropped between his legs. I was then informed as the evening went on Sparkling let rip with her pump action shot gun on a number of men who had not given her the respect she very much deserved. 

When I heard what Sparkling said, I felt so happy and proud she took no prisoners, I was choked up. I also know there were people there who witnessed this and were happy she had stood up at last. With nothing to lose other than her job which now those same people had devalued as they had devalued her. 

Myself, I do my best never to wave a red flag in front of Sparkling, but it can't be helped because it's a thing which can be done without knowing it. I'm glad I'm not a dog otherwise there might of been less of body than there is.

Distracting into slumber

Well it's been a week in Sparkling's company and now I'm back in London again. Last night was difficult without Sparkling there to help me get off to sleep in the evening. It's a comfort kind of thing. Being able to reach out and touch, it's nice, warming and reassuring.  When I went to bed I knew if I wasn't careful it would be a sleepless night.  Brain working industriously away and not getting a wink at all.  Then I cast my mind back to the day before and thought of Sparkling.  Imagining I was in bed with her and she'd pushed me right to the edge of the precipice, the point where somehow I'd carefully perched my body so the danger of falling out of bed versus getting to sleep was satisfied. In this imagining my mind calmed itself and I was able to drop off into slumber without too many problems. Funny thing the head is. It gets a thought and it then has to be corralled into the right arena, so it does the right thing.  It's a little like having an arm wrestling match with your own hands.  Sometimes it works others it doesn't. Then today I hit the Fish Factory so I wouldn't have to think to much about missing Sparkles. It's about keeping occupied and distracting the mind from dwelling on sad things.  It just has to be nudged, cajoled, pushed, shoved, hoodwinked, into thinking about not thinking too much. It is an art form as such.

The method of self distraction can be used for all kinds of things I gather.  I've heard how people on diets would distract themselves they already had eaten or it certainly wasn't time to refuel. It's an art which magicians do on a regular basis, diverting attention from one place so the important slight of hand part can not be detected.  it is the thing which happens when something is forgotten.  Get involved in a puzzle then answer the telephone and you'll be lost in a distracting place where the answer to a certain clue has now completely gone from memory.

So it is, I distract my mind from being sad and thinking how much I miss the most beautiful woman in my life.  Sparkles, otherwise I'd have a problem getting to sleep.

Chrimbo day stuffing, a late Chinese and an anaphylactic shock

Strange how Chrimbo days are times of special events.  If it's not a psychological war of the between relatives there's something else going on.  Which is probably one reason why I have spent more years in Scotland than in London at Chrimbo.  It's a little more calming to be in the presence of Sparkling for me.  I just happen to feel more relaxed around her.  Even when things are not going well at the Fish Factory, which unfortunately has been on my mind quite a bit lately as well as nose bleeds from high blood pressure and bouts of mad-man-anger.  Just to say there are a few things I need to get off my chest in the Factory.  Fortunately, Sparkling is understanding and together we have done our best not to allow the steamed up crazy-red-popping-anger head to get a hold.  Although I will say it does get more difficult bringing it down over a period of time.  Enough of that.  So as I was saying.  Besides the times of psychological permanent scarring, which in this wonderful man-made-christian event, other things tend to happen.  Things which can not be anticipated.  Like they have been pulled out of a magician's bag, and instead of a white rabbit there's a bloody pink elephant.  Like someone has been drinking too many martinis.  The magician's bag obviously belongs to Doctor Who.  There can be no other explanation.  So it was as this Chrimbo day came to be other things decided to take place as well.

As a change from the norm of dried up turkey, we decided to have a dried Chinese instead.  However, Chinese isn't dried up and tastes a lot better.  So the order was put in for a Chinese, it was due to arrive at 5 p.m., in the mean time Sparkling decided to put a few items in the oven, little snack things needing to be cooked off.  Mini sausages, stuffing balls, prawn sesame slice things, the usual little snacks.  It was some time between 4 p.m. and 5 p.m. when Sparkles had taken these out of the oven and took a fancy to trying one of the stuffing balls.  These were sticking to the silver foil and ended up being a disaster in more than one way.  She pulled one off the foil and thought no more of taking a couple of bites.  The rest of the bits and pieces were put on plates ready for the evening's party.  The Chinese pre ordered would be on it's way, and Rock Chick with Dangerous Sports lad in tow had done a little bit of Chrimbo visiting.  This left just me and Sparkles in the house.  I went into the kitchen to see how things were going and Sparkles looked at me.  It was a worried look, a frightened kind of stare she had in her eyes.  Followed by the words "I'm taking a reaction.  To the stuffing balls."  Sparkles pulled up her sleeves and there I could see the tell tale sign of hives.  Big blooming blotchy skin welts all over her forearms.  Oh my gaud, I thought.  It's real, it's a anaphalatic shock.  Sparkling was nervous and shaking.  She drank water and there was a problem with swallowing.  I wanted to call the ambulance, Sparkling kept shaking her head.  Saying "no, I'm trying to get it under control."  I wanted to ring immediately but Sparkles was doing her best to keep control.  I felt myself welling up inside, a bubbling kind of panic.  Heck, I didn't know what to do.  Sparkling gave way and I rang the emergency services.

It seemed to take forever to get through to the ambulance service, while inside me I was thinking every second counts.  Sparkles was blotchy and red, she said she was having a problem drinking water.  She had gave a gagging motion when she tried a sip or two.  The operator came through, I gave details of address, Sparklings age and then answered some simple questions.  Like "is she conscious?" fortunately for me she was I don't know how I'd of held it together were she not.   The ambulance was on its way.  The operator asked

"Has she used her eppipen?"
"No."
"Then tell her she has to use her pen."
"Darling, you have to use your pen."  Sparkles was sat on the arm of a chair, half panting and kind of nodding her head to say yes she knew she had to use it.  The voice returned on the end of the phone.
"Has she used her pen?"
"No, not yet."
"You have to use your pen Sparkling."  She looked at me once, looked at the pen and plunged it hard into the side of her thigh.  It was dull.  She looked at the pen again, pulled the top off and again stabbed it at her thigh.
"Has she used the pen?"
"Yes, she has now used the pen."
"OK, tell her the ambulance is on the way, keep her calm they will be there soon.  I will stay on the phone to they arrive.  How is she?"

Somewhere in between this conversation I managed to make another phone call to Rock Chick to get and tell her about the situation.  The conversation went on with the lady on the end of the phone, I managed to keep it together and not turn into a screwed up panicking mess.  Even though I was feeling like this on the inside.  An emergency medic turned up, he attached a machine to Sparkling which monitored her vitals.  Pulse rate was 67, blooming Aida I thought, Sparkles is an athlete.  Blood pressure was high, which apparently was a good sign in this situation.  It's when the blood pressure drops a full anaphalactic Chrimbo after all.  Rock and Dangerous walked in to be greeted by three emergency personnel. 

In the back of my mind I kept wondering where the blooming Chinese was, and if it turned up now whether there would be enough to share amongst everyone.  We'd find a way I thought.  But it didn't come to it.  The machine was disconnected and little sticky pads were left on Sparkling's arms.  We were all relieved.  Sparkles had an adrenaline high over the next couple of hours and the stuffing balls went in the bin.

Long live the dry turkey.