There I was in the garden. Cutting grass, trimming plants, cleaning the outdoor chairs and table when I wondered where Sparkling had gone. She'd taken the car to get some potatoes and brockley, the tatties were going to be turned into jackets and the brockley steamed because it's good for you. I wondered where Sparkling was. It must of been over an hour. I kept making myself busy. Popped in and turned the chicken down, it was more than roasted by this time. Put the mower away and came in the house to sit down. Two minutes later I here Sparkling's car come into the drive. The door opened and she dropped off three bags of shopping to return to the boot. I'm glad I didn't take my boots off or put my feet up at this point, good thinking, because if it looked like I had done nothing then I'd of had a boot up my arse. We bought the shopping in and Sparkles told me how she had just seen her mum. I unpacked the bags, putting tins, plants, vegetables on the side. Sparkling grabbed hold of the iron went over to the fridge, reached down began to open the door and realised she had an iron in her hand. Not the 2 litre bottle of milk. Poor thing she's been distracted today.
The car needed a repair in order to pass it's MOT, because it had just failed. A little wielding needed to be done. Unfortunately it meant an early start to the day. The car had to be dropped off at the welders, we then had to go into town, get prezzies for Rock Chick because it's soon to be her birthday and then another prezzy for University girl who has just finished University and is about to graduate. During this time Sparkling had to face a bus ride. Or rather two bus rides because I said it was cheaper than getting cabs all over the place. She gave me the stare. This one said "I am not going on a bus" being a sweet talker she reluctantly got on a bus. Then got a bus back. The bus back wasn't as comfortable as the bus into town. On account there were a lot more people on it. Sparkling chose to sit at the very back just above the engine and nobody had opened a window. I could not believe how hot and stuffy it was, this is bloody Scotland, these people love the cold. The heat to them is like the crucifix to a vampire. Yet they all sat there baking away. I could barely breath. Sparkling was not happy I could tell. Then she told me she would never sit on a bus again. The two people sat next to her stank of body odour. Well if one of the passengers had bothered to open a window it would of been a lot more pleasant. I just couldn't believe it. Anyway, this means Sparkling is now traumatised and will not get on a public bus again. Who can bloody well blame her?
Rock Chick is working tonight, but a few minutes before she set off I asked if she would make me a cup of tea. She gave me the "you must be joking" look. I said she could put the kettle on while her response was she would be going in three minutes, no five minutes. Enough time I said to put the kettle on. She looked at me and said "just coz you got the man-o-pause." Then stared me down like Clint Eastwood in one of his Westerns where he knows he's going to come out the better. A minute later up she got and left, there was an imaginary swirling whirl wind as she left. I can tell she has inherited the drama queen gene from Sparkling.
It seems the only sympathy I get nowadays comes from the cat. Olly. Like me he's male. We have to stick together, especially in a house like this. Like me he's getting fat as well. Well at least I still got my balls. For the time being anyway.
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