Rushing about

Had to hit the factory this morning, a Saturday of all days, but if they want to pay extra for putting sardines in tins, who am I to argue, though some of those little nippers can get a bit slippery.

So rushed to the train station, thinking of Sparkling Eyes and hoping she was feeling better. But found my self short of time because the train was due in. Went to the ticket machine and some woman had just walked in front of me to get there first. Went to the counter service and some silly arse was taking their time with the teller. At this moment I hear the train come rumbling in. Now what do I do? If I don't get on it, the next will be 30 minutes and I'll be late. A guard at the barrier lets me through without a ticket, good. On the train now, no ticket thinking I could get caught fare dodging, fined and held up. An idea comes to me. Get off the next station and walk. I know the next station is hardly ever manned, should be no problem because my stop is after and it's a shortish walk. The train rumbles through the station. Great! Now am thinking how can I dodge this fare or get past without getting nicked? It shouldn't be a problem I tell myself, because there's been building work at the station and the side gate has been open for builders. Well, get off the train, the side gate is closed. Oh dear, not looking good. Last possibility I consider. The barriers might be open after all it's early Saturday morning and a number of mornings I've had a ticket and they have been open and wasted paying for a ticket in my mind. Climb up the stairs to the barrier and it's closed. Bollocks!! The quick thought of jumping over the barrier occurred to me, but I need to be a bit fitter and could of been caught on CCTV. I go to the gate and call over to the inspector. Tell him my plight and with a relief he just told me to buy a ticket from the teller there, which I did and handed directly back to him.

This probably means I am not cut out for a criminal background, with a guilty conscience and perhaps plans doomed to failure. Alternatively, being of nefarious mind I might consider this an opportunity rather than a problem and think of a better way to get past when I don't get the chance to pay for a ticket.

Yes got it. Simple put on a Burkha wear all black jump over the barrier and mingle with the nearest group of Burkha wearers. Pretend I'm nuts, ask the inspector the way to San Jose, and tell him about the thoughts in my head to kill every free running chicken I happen to see. No maybe not. Got it. If it's a bloke tell him there's a woman on the platform acting funny, maybe this will distract him. Nope. Get the next train back down the line and walk. Wait to see if the builders will open the gate. Tell the inspector I have a genetic disposition which makes me look like I am 40 years old but I'm really only 4 years old so don't have to pay the fare. Oh yes the solution. Buy a ticket, I'm sure it will work every time.