I have now got into a routine of catching up on the political programmes at the weekend. Nearly finished, I'm on about hour three, or is it four? (Newsnight, The Daily Politics, Question Time) I barely get to watch TV news during the weeks so this time is a must.. The BBC iplayer function is a political lifeline to the past week. It's always good to see politicians bought to account, however they do practice the art of bullet dodging, bouncing off the ropes and are pretty good with smoke and mirrors. This is not to say they are dishonest, which some may well think, they are after all human beings. As humans we are just prone to making mistakes every once in a while. Just as we are to the occasional insight and good judgement. However, when it comes to running a country, which has surely got to be the most complex organizational thing in the world, it doesn't matter who you are, you're bound to get it wrong. Especially if you fail to consult those in the know, those who work in specialised areas, like the Fish Factory. The future of fish is never going to be the same. I'm going to have to roll up my shirt sleeves and do something different, maybe become a full time male lap dancer. Unfortunate thing is I doubt whether I'll earn a living from it and I'd even doubt if Sparkling Eyes would give me a fiver for a dance. How depressing.
So I've spent a few hours going over a White Paper, not to be confused with a Blue Paper, which is what happens when you leave a white paper out in the cold. Bom Bom! It's a document published by the Government about what they intend to do in the future. There was so little detail and so wide implications as I read I couldn't help but shake my head. I thought someone doesn't know the head of a fish from the tail of a fish here. They had even proposed the next fleet of boats which go out fishing no longer bother using nets yet are expected to gain bigger catches than ever before. Further, they had decided if the boats weren't up to scratch they would now use tractors. I scratch my head in confusion wondering how the farmers would feel about it.
It's a bit like some recent news about a couple who had been released from pirates who had hijacked their boat. I sat watching the interviews with them and shout out the question, why in hell did you go sailing in waters known to have pirates? The worse part was none of the interviers asked either. I expect the pair had read too much Peter Pan and thought Captain Hook was only a comic character. Well they certainly found out with the loss of their liberty for 13 months. If I asked my ten year old nephew Monster Boy whether he'd like to sail a boat in an area where there are pirates, I'm sure he wouldn't mind. It would capture his imagination, he'd go and start drawing pictures of pirates, get out his Star Wars light sabre and dress up announcing he'll join them and become the new Long John silver. But to ask the same question to two adults, blimey. Where did they get educated? Well I got a name for them if they want to know, idiots would seem to fit, but a more imaginative person would probably come up with something better.
I've about reached my maximum now, it's on the hour and I'm actually catching up with the news. Great, the kidnapped couple are on again, right I've had enough. Switched off. Peace and quite. Now I wonder if those pirates do private jobs. I know of a river which passes a seat of government where it might be worth kidnapping some more valuable people. Where did I put my satellite phone?
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