I'm suffering from Blog Block at the moment. Although my days are pretty busy at the Fish Factory it seems when I sit down and think I should write a BLOG nothing comes. I just can't think of a subject. I can think of Fish Factory subjects but those technicalities would bore the tits of an overweight hippopotamus. I could tell an imaginary story of a brick. Because even bricks can have adventures, well they just sit there and see the world going by, but I'm sure there are meanderings which go on in their brick like brains. If a bricks actually have attained any form of consciousness they certainly would have meanderings. I know. Sometimes I come back from the Fish Factory and feel like a brick, a brick in a non self conscious state. One which would just rather sit and dribble from the side of his mouth. Blubber, blubber. See what I I mean?
Then there's Sparkling who has got right up my nose at the moment. We've had very little communication over the last week. The last text I received from her was 6 days ago. Then I find out from a web site she had her debit card cloned and someone in Venezuela tried to use it. Fine bloody thing I'm sure. See. Even Sparkling's bloody card is having a more interesting existence. The thing is, communication is important. A little text here or there and I'm happy. Nothing makes me feel like I don't exist and I'm not worth talking to. I got to the point of thinking well, I've had enough, I'm fed up. If she wants to talk to me then she can bloody well pick up the phone. Women. Can't live with them, can't live without them. If I was the type who had a number of mates right now I'd go out, with my mates, probably including the brick and get completely drunk. So drunk I puke. Then when I wake up the next morning I got to puke again because of the dizzy room. To top it off I might even shit myself. Then I need a couple of days away from the Fish Factory and every other Tom, Dick and Harriet. A couple of days away. Watching ants build nests, paint dry, clouds in the sky, absolutely anything. I need to gain a moment of my own life back. A moment of control and stop thinking about shit, shit in the head not soiled pants. No wonder I keep waking up early in the morning. And yes I know things could be worse I could have my nuts in a bloody vice being turned by some psycho maniac who likes to inflect pain on lonely fat men who are feeling neglected. Bloody hell!
I haven't even been to the gym and done my fat man running on a machine routine for a while. Not forgetting the fat man farting and walking away from a cloud of gas. The chill of the weather and the dull dark days just haven't helped. OK so it is getting lighter. It's still so overcast at times it feels like the cloak of Dracula has been laid over London. I wouldn't mind, but I can't see his bloody brides anywhere, at least they would bring out some reaction, some kind of life in me to buy garlic, crucifixes or run like hell. I need to get out and clear my head. Some control. A good long walk. Meditation. Singing to myself and not just giving a shit if anyone hears me while I walk along. Which reminds me better get a battery for my MP3 player. Which will be something to keep me going and going and going. Maybe then, just maybe I'll get my head straight and at least wont have Blog Block.
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