Travolta Pigeon has a hareem

It's Sunday morning, I expect to lay in, take it easy, snooze and get up late. It's one of those relaxed days. Or rather the expectation of having a nothing-day, just to enjoy. So the picture is painted. But was this going to happen? Not on your Nelly. For Mr Travolta hot foot dancing pigeon has other ideas. Ideas which he shares with his pals.

So at 6:00 a.m this beautiful lazy Sunday, the tiles began to move. Like a cow walking down the slates in successive footstep each tile banged and made a progressively low to higher pitched bang. A percussive symphony to which I am sure many a rock drummer would have appreciation for. Except I'm not a drummer. As for rock, on a Sunday morning I have no place for it. But the dancing Cow, no I mean pigeon, no I mean pigeons plural had woken up. In their turn they woke me. I thought the slates were going to be falling off the roof. I envisaged having to call in a roofer and it costing thousands of pounds because if one is dislodged at the top it will then dislodge all the others in the sloping column.

Mr John Travolta Pigeon must of been really successful in his dancing lessons, because by 6:20 a.m. I then went out in the garden, wearing my PJs to have a look. I glanced up at the side of the house and there looking down from the edge of the roof could have been no fewer than 50 or so pigeons. This is worse than I thought. It wasn't just the banging roof tiles which were the clue as I woke. It was the flapping of wings, from my bleary eyed sonambulance I heard a flock. When I looked up from the garden I saw a flock. Picking them off with an air rifle would of left a pile of pigeon carcasses 4 foot high. Besides I don't have a air gun. No wonder the cat just lazes about doing nothing, because if he catches one there's always another 49 sitting in the wings, looking down at him, taunting poor Tigger and most likely having a shite from the roof. Any cat would have a nervous break down at the prospect, too much prey and not enough lives.

Feck what am I going to do? Mr Travolta Pigeon has a harem, he's happy, life is wonderful when your looking down from a great hight waking up unsuspecting humans. Especially when each night you can have another different Ms Pigeon to tuck up in bed. Feck I'm now desperate for ideas. Anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!