The lop-sided Chrimbo Tree

Big moma got her new friend the aged builder man to put up a recently acquired Chrimbo tree. I arrived home after a stint in the gym feeling quite knackered to say the least. The tree looked odd. It looked scruffy, disheveled, like it had been rejected and lost it's self esteem. And it leaned. Moma asked me to have a go at sorting it out. It's odd how innocent and unsuspecting traps can be sprung on the unwary. I at this point was the unwary. The notion of assembling such a thing seems at first quite simple, but when someone else has already had a go and you are then left to pick up the pieces and correct the error, it can take a little longer than if you had started it from the box in the first place. This was the case in this instance.

Sometimes people can be slotted into groups. It makes it easier to judge what they are like as an individual. One group are those who read instructions, the other group are those who don't read instructions, get stuck in because they believe they know better and are smarter than the item requiring assembly. It is in my opinion this group who cause headaches, especially for me. Builder man unfortunately was a member. It instinctively means something. Instruction are usually there for a reason and if you have already assembled something before then fine you know all there is to know. However, if things change, like Chrimbo trees and there is a set of instructions then in theory it would be easier to read the instructions first. Theory. What a wonderful word. However, the word theory is an abstract term to people who just jump in there all gung ho. They then commence to give gung ho a bad name.

I spent about an hour trying to correctly assemble the Chrimbo tree with the help of the instructions. Unfortunately because builder man had put a certain bracket item on a top section of the tree and I was unable to remove it the tree will forever be lop sided. It will lean more than the Tower of Pizza, more than a drunk walking uphill with stilts on and more than a large sailing yacht about to capsize. The picture I hope is quite clear now, crystal some might say. So for the next two or three years our Chrimbo tree will be a leaning one. All because someone didn't bother with reading the instructions. There is a name of such a person but for the sake of the innocent I'll not say it here.

How many idiots does it take to change a light bulb? Better sit in the dark and find out.