Pressed buttons

My buttons are being pressed lately.  Usually I am the mild mannered, it's all O.K. with me type of bloke, but there are times when my buttons are well and truly pushed.  Family is usually a good direction to look in.  Especially if you have some family which could be considered on the verge of mentally ill, although not diagnosed.  If there is someone out there who disputes this fact then I'd say to them have a good look at yourself then pal.  The reason family can easily push these buttons is because I've had years and years and years of suffering their behaviour, it's as though my fountain of tolerance has run dry.  But not only family can achieve this, so can petty minded bigots, who can not be swayed in their opinion or can not argue with reason.  If an ordinary person uses reason it is somehow shredded up like the confidential paper waste machines.  Poor old reason just takes a battering.  For the ordinary this is where tolerance kicks in and it becomes a matter of ignoring them, walking away or getting in the first punch and making it a really good one, one they are not going to get up from.  So yes, for some reason my buttons are getting pressed lately and unfortunately my temper then begins to rise and physical violence dances in and out of my imagination.

Because of this heightened state of strain perhaps this is why when I meet someone for the fist time I don't like, I feel like beating the shit out of them. There are a list of subtle clues which kick into place, and no matter how hard I suppress this first impression an individual gives me, it don't go away. Some mental calculus starts to turn over in my mind, their dress sense, body language and the way they talk.  Then I just know it.  I suppress it with the strength of Superman, which must pay off because it is a very strong inner control which manages to pull down the shutters.  The shutters being those which keep the Bear/Gorilla/Monster at bay.  To protect both myself and the individual I am so and truly pissed off with. 

It's odd all of this button pressing, because there really are times when very little will phase me.  When I am at calm with the world and forgive every idiot I see.  Forgive mentally, when I make the judgement then whatever they did was not a fault of their own.  However, we are all responsible for our own actions, or rather also responsible for our inaction's, yes, the raging Hulk inside which so wants to tear another living human being limb from limb.  It is a waste of energy letting events get to oneself.  It's better to accept and let them roll over you like a wave in the ocean.  Calm, hummmmmmmmm like a master of meditation.  Hummmmm, bullocks, it don't always work.