Balls on my shoulder

Today I have felt happy, but I have also felt sharp, in a text to Sparkling I said I was Happy Snappy.  It was like the little conscience on my shoulder which normally stops me from opening my mouth had grown balls.  In fact these balls were so blooming big every time I got up from my seat I found myself walking in a little circle until I had compensated for their clacking and weighing one side of my torso down.  Some monkey was obviously unhappy.  It was a day where I spoke my mind.  I felt like things were not going to be let under the radar.    Anyway, I was different.  Maybe it was because I was a little perturbed over having taken on the responsibilities of another member in the Fish Factory.  There was a fish issue at hand, a very fishy fish issue at hand.  The thing was I knew nothing about it until it was bought to my attention by a number of other Fish.  Then came the perturbed feeling of having possibly been shat on from a height but the excrement hadn't yet reached me.  They could see it  but I couldn't.  I'm sure it will reach me, it's just a matter of time now.  Further, yesterday evening I actually got to chat to Sparkling and she was grumpy.  It wasn't really a great chat, it felt like I was intruding on her doing the washing up with one hand while talking in the phone with the other.  So on this occasion, I came second to washing up.  Sparkling's grumpiness was then compounded by her in turn bending my ear.  Great.  There I was looking for, love, compassion, a friendly chit chat on life and instead I got bashed down the phone with a kipper.  Therefore I was perturbed (there's that word again) for at least two different reasons. The balls on my shoulder were the product of being pissed off.  Yet, it seems a bit of a contradiction, being happy and pissed off at the same time.  It is, I know.  I'm the contradicting kind.  Yes, pissed off was it and my attitude now was one of not wanting to feel the falling shit hit me again.  Sparkling texted I was a Happy Snappy Chappy. 

I also came across something during the day which made me feel like I was being investigated.  Judged on whether there was something I may have done which was wrong.  Something which I know were I not justified would of resulted in an instant kick up the backside and out of the Fish Pond.  A kick landing me in a room where the door has a key and I don't have a copy of it.  I suppose such is the responsibilities of being a Middle Fish.  As I think about it I get more pissed off.  As though I could even be suspected of doing a wrong doing.  Fortunately like all good law abiding bureaucratic fish I always cover my arse as often as possible.  It can get cold if you don't.  An appropriate term for my feeling then would be controlled outrage which made me ready for confrontation.  On a reasoned, deliberate and sharp level which would rip to shreds the accusations of any arsehole who wanted to point a flipper in my direction.  It ended up I didn't have to be outraged and am probably glad about it.

The only thing I can now do is try and get a good night's sleep.  Just drift off into such a deep slumber it feels like I instantaneously wake up the next morning after only just going to bed.  I sure hope those balls don't rest on the pillow as well because if they do I'm likely to bash my own brains in and not sleep at all.