Getting slowly drunk on diet Pepsi and JD's. I chose the diet Pepsi because it was 40 pence cheaper than real Coke Cola, and the diet because I'm fat and have to watch every calorie, though it hasn't stopped me from going to the kitchen to pick up a biscuit, a small and not very good biscuit either. I mean if you have to blow your diet you really should go for a proper chocolate biscuit Crazy. I'm happy. I don't think it is the JD and coke which is doing it, but it's the random hormone displacement of a late 40s male. It happens. Even us grumpy old men are happy at times. This wasn't the case earlier. When I did indeed feel angry. I was on the bus coming back from the local DIY store and as the bus passed a group of teens, one of them, the taller teen boy, with an American cool baseball hat, to make him pretend he is something more important than he really is stuck his fingers up at the bus. In a kind of Gangsta rap, dissing way. I got off at the next stop and was angry. I thought to myself I could easily turn round face off this teenage shit and hit him really hard. An upper cut. I could see it. Fortunately for me and for the teenage wana-be; little tosser. I instead dwelled on why I was feeling angry. In psychology this kind of anger is displacement. It relates to something else, something unrelated and the teenager though a complete tosser wasn't deserving of a broken jaw, even if it would of taught him a lesson. Tempting, yes? I can see you now nodding your head, whoever you are. Maybe I should rename this BLOG Angry Old Man, or Grumpy Old Man. So I deleved into what it was which was making me feel this way. Feel the red devil, so to say. It was related to two individuals. Dopey Sophia and Mrs Talkative, both my sisters.
I am expecting the Talkatives to turn up tomorrow. It's been about six months since I've seen them. The kids are great, well nearly, but then we have to accept what we are dealt with as family. Whether you happen to be speaking to them or not. Even though there are suspicions of mental illness, which I now have come to understand is most people have a degree of some kind of illness, it's just a matter of whether they can function in a relatively normal way or not. The truth being we just all get by. Mrs Talkative, shouts at her children and it makes what would be a relatively quite Sunday into a battle ground as when one child screams at another then she jumps in and tells them to shut up. Loudly. It is another instance of a quite Sunday gone to waste. Like last weekend when Stupid Sophia turned up just as I was trying to cook the Sunday meal. I had even sliced up and prepared an aubergine. I was really looking forward to it. I had it all planned out. There she suddenly was with Big Momma and a ton of washing to be done. She was then poking about and nosing about at what I was cooking. I had to vacate the kitchen, I just felt I could not be in the same room as her. I was cringing in her presence. Her whole demeanour is so self centred and sapping of life it is not normal. So I removed myself from the situation and sat in the front room. Watching TV, just hoping she would come into the front room so I could move back into the kitchen and finish the lunch. She didn't. I went out after half an hour and ate at a Chinese, where it so happens I seem to be spending nearly all of my lunch times. I didn't get to taste the meal. I got angry because my Sunday had been irretrievably invaded and disturbed. The washing could of been done at any tme. Sunday was my chill down time. So again, this week it is similar, unlike last Sunday which was unplanned, this Sunday I've had warning and it was planned. A different reason, but still the anger. So I realised after some contemplation, although the teenager deserved his head beaten in, it wasn't by me, with my displaced anger. Then of course there is always the reality of how I feel and what I actually do. I'm sure if people saw the withheld angry man they would think I was psycho, they'd probably be right, but the thing is I don't behave it. This is rationality winning out against irrational emotionalism. Just as it is so easy when witnessing this histrionic outburst in other people to judge them as unstable. So stability is keeping control, oh what a waxing and waining war that really is.
I realised, I was putting too much coke in my drink because rather than getting merry and pissed, I just tend to frequent the bathroom and get slightly pissed. Now with a reduced Pepsi Cola level, the JDs is really working properly. Strange how the drink looks really foamed up, like it has a tad of washing up liquid in it. I'm sure it hasn't, it just looks like it has. I'm happy because I have sat and thought of Sparkling and how happy she makes me feel. Our holiday to Malta wasn't so long ago, and the memories of it make me smile as well. It will be good seeing the nephews and nieces, I'll try not to make too much of a judgement of the one who is an idiot, after all, there seems to be lots of them about and now days you have to be as PC as possible.
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