Friday, August 09, 2013

Getting angry and some coping strategies

I don't know why it is but there are times when I get real angry with people. Then I simmer away. I know it is about having expectations, to expect someone should do what they get paid to do, to expect they know what their own job is and yet even though they are paid a higher salary they don't do what they should. Especially when those things, those expectations are quite simple basics, like checking there's water in a kettle before turning it on, walking on the left hand side sort of things. They are not rocket science, but come under the heading of common sense, to the point even a child knows them. So I get real pissed off and would describe my anger on the verge of incandescent and seething. Then there is the impotence of having your hands tied, with no action I can take which will change or improve the situation because it was all entirely out of my hands in the first place.  Were I the owner of the business there would of been a lot of heads rolling, but the reality is big machines roll slowly, more so when there is no motivation to give them an extra push.

At these times my strategy is to bite my tongue, and keep silent. I also reduce or stop alcohol and caffeine consumption, I try to keep away from people who will make me feel worse or crowd me in and not let me speak. The type of person who doesn't know how to listen is anathema.  My eyes narrow and I focus, knowing the situation I am in I then do my best to calm myself down. Concentrate on breathing, even taking time to try some meditation. I seek peace in my mind. Then I think about my own attitude and way of seeing the world, because although other people should act or behave in a certain way they simply don't. They do are idiots. The human race is full of idiots, and in some cases it is idiots whose actions can result in the death of others.  It is as if there is an "idiot moment" state of mind, which really is no state of mind at all. A person may not be an idiot but can do idiotic things. I'm sure I've been considered in this way before myself. When I get a handle on these thoughts, I get to understand and quell the anger. It is about accepting these things and being relaxed about it. The relaxed bit is important, because it is only when calm your mind is at it's best in seeing options, making judgements and ensuring you are not part of the "idiot moment" group.

Another way to help calm the mind is to listen to music, music which chills, everyone has their own songs they like and know but I like to step out of the comfort zone and seek out music I've never heard before. Music which is by different groups, it's wonderful finding something new and not being stuck in a certain decade. How painful it is to talk to people who can only recite groups for the 60s, 70s and 80s. They can tell you everything about those groups, what the lead singer ate for breakfast, how the drummer died and the inspiration for a certain song. But then ask them their thoughts on something which came out last year and they are lost. It's their choice, their close mindedness. Yet another item which can cause frustration and this in turn can progress to anger. So it is an item which has to be accepted on the list of things which don't change.

So why the hell don't I get paid more?  I'm not part of the idiots gang, well, seems like the idiots have got one thing right they all play together, even though none of them knows the rules.

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