There are at least three absolute certainties in life. They are death, taxes and change. Today I found my hairdresser's had changed. I think they have been bought out. There were two assistants I did not recognise inside. Which may be better for me, when I consider the bloke who had a habit of shortening what hair I had so far back there were more bald spots showing than hair left. The other choice is to go somewhere else. It's at this point I began to notice in this time of recession there are more Barber shops cropping up all over the place than before. Even at the local village shops, suddenly where there was a green grocer there is now another Barbers. Perhaps with all the people out of work, the only thing to do is get your hair cut.
Maybe it's a new field ex bankers are going into. They enquire about what number razor guard you want then ask how your stocks have been doing today. With the odd bit of advice to stay away from anyone in a pin striped suit, talking like a cockney barrow boy and waving over bejewelled hands while they speaking on their mobile phones with loud brash accents. It's almost an oxymoron, not almost it is. In reality there a city bankers out there, who have barely passed any exams and can just about count their toes but are earning so much money they have become a new class of cockney. They probably include the mob known as Essex boys and Essex girls. Not to say the inhabitants of Essex have acquired a certain name for themselves, but they have and it's nothing to do with their eligibility to join Mensa, that's for sure. I say this because I know from first hand experience, two blokes who I would not of thought had the character or ability to play with millions of pounds. One of them unfortunately gave it up years ago and now works in a pizza delivery service. The other, I don't really know as a person on a one to one basis, but I know of him. This is because he grew up as a kid in the same road as me, but he was quite a bit younger. His mother told me he was a banker. It was then I hid my disbelief because he really was more suited to being a builder, or possibly even a plumber if he worked hard at it. It's a funny world. Whether this means everything stabilises out so the dumb smart scale of luck come into effect. Dumb people are just as statistically allowed to be in good earning, high responsibility jobs as the next. But we don't talk about their decision making process or how they get it wrong more, because it would be the thing not to do. I'd be moaning.
As I waited in the chair for the Barber to finish one of his clients, it was noticeable the client happened to be one of those people who was not content. He groaned about the hair cut. Talk about choosy, I seen women chose shoes quicker than this guy accept the style of his cut. As I waited there it was like this other customer knew there were people waiting and just wanted to take up more time. It made me feel a bit impatient. Knowing this I decided to pretend to be tired, closed my eyes and leaned on a chair next to me. He could take as long as he liked, I'm not going to feed into his self induced popularity. It means nothing to me. The disgruntled groany customer eventually left. It wasn't too long before I then took up a seat and was getting trimmed. One Barber then said to the other he had recognised the previous customer, and he made him do his hair at least five times until it was right in a shop full of people. He had said to the customer if he came into the shop again he would not be cutting his hair. He joked with the other barber, saying he knew the customer recognised him and purposely went to the second Barber. I got my eyebrows trimmed off as well while there, they feel a lot shorter now. I nearly asked for the flaming cotton bud on my lobes but thought if he isn't going to give them the flame then they must be OK. Thing is if I see some dark hairs sticking out of my ears in the morning it'll likely be me groaning away till the next time. It's always so difficult aiming a pair of tweezers at them and yanking them out when you're using a mirror. Damn, am I moaning? Hell, there are four things in life you can guarantee...
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