A mixed up confusion pie

I should of done something with myself today, but didn't. Some days end up this way. I think it's spending too much time in the Fish Factory, so I needed a break and its what I did. The world was not built in seven days. So it's important to rest. I been feeling sorry for myself as well, someone needs to hit me round the face with a wet fish it's bound to work. I'm just being pulled down into some place I don't want to be. Slurping down, down, down, like being on some long water tube while gravity has its effect, slipping and sliding, except I'm not shouting "whoopey." More like "oh shit" where is this going I ask myself. Someone once said to me during the week "you can only make yourself happy" I don't know if this is a statement or a truth. It's all a matter of mind and perception.

I think it's probably another mid life crisis. I usually get them once a year maybe even twice. They are wrapped up in a twine of confusion. Everything is confusing. Then I wonder if I'm getting a mental break down. Like it's something you can catch, a flu virus or something, except its all in the head. Maybe if I just sit on a rotating chair and spin it around a few times this snow globe of not knowing will right itself. Like an opposing current neutralising itself. Alternatively, maybe we are all confused but some are more confused than others, or they are completely lucid except this clarity is a denial of the Spanish omelette which really exists. Boy, it must be good to to be clear headed. I can understand why some people turn to alcohol at least when your are dizzy and happy nothing matters, unfortunately it's too short and over consumption leads to one hell of a headache. Mind at least the headache takes your mind of much else going on inside it. Everything has got a bright side.

Sleep is the other issue. I don't know whether I'm coming or going. It's a case of going to bed and the moment I put my head on the pillow I feel fully awake. But right up to this very point I've been yawning, blinking my eyes and suffering from a general all over lethargy. It might be down to my sudden liking for pork pies. Maybe I should lay off the carbohydrates. Eat lettuce instead. Hell I think I'd rather just be confused over stuff.