Back at the ranch

Am back in London again. I could tell the difference almost immediately, it's warmer and there is no snow. So I sit with my Bertha (Ukulele) which is pronounced oookulele by people from Hawaii asking myself the question, shall I give her a strum tonight, yes, I will do.  Just a quick fingering, a little plucking here and there. I've nearly got the Dueling Banjos (from the film Deliverance) off pat. Bertha is on the agenda. There are so many things to learn and get skilled at when playing Bertha it's just mind boggling. Producing music, or something close to music is a reward, but it's not quite right. You get a feel for the thing, or an ear for it. Like when a string doesn't vibrate and echo correctly. It should be a crisp sound and not resonate with too much twang or be a dull thud. This is mostly down to fingering the neck, or rather the frets. Frets are the spaces between each metal bit on Bertha's neck. I really am liking my sessions with Bertha, because learning to play her is so different from everything else I do. It takes my mind of things, or rather it demands something different. Maybe it's an appreciation for music, after all everyone loves to hear music, songs, pop, whatever, everyone has a universal liking for some form of music. And hell the Ukulele isn't a big daunting thing like a piano, or a harp. It's small, demure and comical in nature. It makes you want to smile. Even more so if you happen to be George Formby. Bertha is going to be my bridge into the musical world, but she's going to take time to get acquainted with. Sparkling has even jested I'm more interested in Bertha than I am her. She knows this is not true, there's no comparing the pair of them.


In the mean time I check out face book to see if my help requests have been granted by those I love, the little helping hand needed to step up another level of Candy Crush. I noticed Rock Chick didn't sent me help. She's this way inclined. Rock only likes to win a game if all the cards are marked and she can read the markings but nobody else can. She's scared just in case I catch up. My memory goes back to the short fat pink trunked image of me she created on her wrestling game consul, I was constantly whooped by her on every game I played. It took about two hours of game play to realise I had no skill level at all, but her's was the highest possible. As for the flirtatious camp walk my character had as he walked to the wrestling ring, I couldn't do anything about this either.  In Candy Crush Rock is at about 40 games ahead of me so it's unlikely I'll get anywhere near her in the next few weeks. I blame it on Sparkling, she first refused to help me out and has now leapt forward, claiming I was copying her, it was her game not mine.  Now after about a month she is probably 50 games in front.  Rock takes after Sparkling in many ways. I've now asked Rock if she would help me onto the next level, I threw in a bribe and said I'd send her help whenever I could. She in turn called me a creep and asked if my anger issues had yet led to my custodial sentence after murdering anyone at the Fish Factory. They hadn't, not till now, and she still hasn't given me help.  Someone please get me onto the next bloody level of Candy Crush.

When I was at Sparkling's I managed to get control of the cat. Control in the sense Olly (cat) didn't wake me up five or six times at night so as to be let out into the garden or to feed him biscuits. I think this is a major achievement in the sense of all things. I may have just moved up in the food chain a notch. Or only partly. He still requires some attention some of the time. Even if it is from the visiting L & B man. Who blows smoke into Olly's face, but Olly has got his measure, all it takes is one stray cat hair and L & B man is a jabbering wreck. Well partly on account of his cat allergy, or rather cat hair allergy.  And it's not so much of the jabbering but more of severe eye watering and sneezing. Funny how a tattooed man sneezes a bit girly like. Yes, Olly has him in his sights. I'm sure glad I have no allergy, just the occasional sleepless night instead.

Back at the Fish Factory today all was as expected. Mountains of fish to catch up with and some of them stinking pretty bad. I was chilled on account of returning from Scotland and being a little sad.  But I soon picked my self up this evening after a quick chat from Sparkling, before her TV schedule kicked in and I was punted. Love over hundreds of miles has no meaning when an episode of the Undateables is on TV.