So far 2013 has been no more than a follow through of 2012 problems. The difficulty is sleeping, primarily I'm just not getting enough of if and am constantly suffering from levels of sleep deprivation. There is one sole cause, Momma. She is diabetic and has to urinate frequently. She wouldn't have to do so if she were sensible with her eating habits, but she's not. It's the hidden sugars she absorbs and doesn't understand this is the reason she has to take so many toilet breaks. In a night it will be anything from 3 to a dozen times. This can not be healthy, it is an indicator of someone in denial and with no understanding the health issues diabetes has. It is a silent creeping killer, it is constantly there and wants to get a firmer grip, when it does rather than a single scythe of death it will work painfully slow. Bit by bit degenerating the body and pulling the individual down into poor health. It is a slow painful deterioration and death. I know of a number of people who have diabetes. Two of which have been operated on to remove part of their feet, or their lower leg in full because of poor circulation and likelihood of gangerine. I know of one man I used to work with who used to drink like a fish, the by product of diabetes is the conversion of alcohol to sugar so increasing tolerance. He went to hospital, also due part foot amputation and then had a heart attack and died. He was a nice man, he took on the worries of the world and just didn't look after the most important one, his own health. Momma's constant denial is leading to an additional reason for my sleeplessness.
We argue, we argue at different times of the morning. Usually after I have been repeatedly woken up by her going to the toilet. This could be 2:30 a.m., 4:00 a.m. 3:00 a.m., it's all relative. Sleep deprivation makes me cranky and I'm getting a lot of sleep deprivation. We had a spat at 5:00 a.m. this morning, when I then had no real choice but to wake up and go to work even though it was far too early to do so, had I gone back to bed then I don't know when I would of been able to awake in the morning. After this spat, Moma went to the quack, she explained to the quack it was me who had the problem and I was drinking alcohol. I like the odd pint, usually one pint or two and it would be a couple of evenings a week. She didn't mention about her diet I am guessing. She said the quack told her to have me thrown out of the house, it was her house he's the one with the problem. If I leave then I will not not return to enquire about her, not for some time, not till I am over it. She will have to seek legal action against me. In the meantime she will still get up and down a dozen times a night to urinate, it will not solve her diabetes. She has a condition and her denial will lead to her death. I don't want to leave, for many reasons I need not go into, but I now see how vulnerable I am to homelessness. This mentally ill woman who has been sectioned under the mental health act before. My mother, could see me homeless in real terms and this is frightening. The housing situation is dire in London, rents are high and it will be difficult to get a mortgage because I have no savings. There are no close friends who would take me in, to an extent I am at the whims of a mentally and physically ill geriatric woman and need to either cope with it, or find an alternative solution.
I looked on the NHS web site to see if there was guidance for diabetics. It is not a particularly helpful site in relation to dietary needs and comments. It says the NHS does not recommend any special diet, but it does not add a caveat that a sensible diet low in sugars both natural and processed should be considered. Momma will eat ready meals which do not list the amount of sugar they have in them but will list it as content, she eats tinned fruit in syrup, the NHS site advocates diabetics should eat fruit and vegetables but it does not caveat the dangers of certain fruits or certainly those in tins of syrup. The absence of such information is a significant failure in the information it gives out.
Sleep deprivation is torture, it is psychological torture and can be read in any eye witness account of tyranny against enemies of the state, e.g. Saddam Hussein, or Al-Asad. My work is complex and cognitively demanding and Momma does not take heed when I tell her the repercussions of what can go wrong, how people can be effected if I make the wrong decisions. Being of sound mind is a necessity in many senses of the word. I have to really think about this and decide whether I can continue living in this situation. Were Momma the ruler of a country, I wonder if she would be one of those tyrants, but I'm sure she'd have a free eat all the ice-cream you like holiday, at least every two weeks. Maybe that would supplicate the masses.
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