I must of been in some kind of zone today. Where the stresses of the Fish Factory were copeable. Mind I have been trying a little exercise each time I've felt the shadow of psychological angst drop down on my shoulders. It's simple. Just counting from 1 to 5, while saying to myself, "relax, on each count I will feel myself relaxing," of course I say this internally. Not so everyone can hear and think this bloke has lost the plot. Which would be awful. I'd then be really losing the plot and getting carted off to some secure unit. Mind its not just the counting which helps. The fact I felt tired this morning as well probably had a part to play. I woke up needing another couple of hours sleep and was thinking of Sparkling, she had rang me up the night before. I knew she would be sleeping in late. It helped being tired holding the notion of waking up and getting a cuddle from Sparkles, very calming. At times though being too alert from drinking over strong coffee, or not getting enough physical exercise doesn't help. Too much caffeine definitely accelerates the heart. High heart rate, and blood pressure are not things which help your internal coping mechanisms. One thing feeds into another in a vicious circle. Racing mind and a excited parasympathetic system. Breaking the circle comes from recognising it and doing something about it.
I came to the realisation some time ago that being stressed doesn't help any situation. Or being over emotional. Says he, the fat man who just can't help his emotions at times, even a soppy cartoon can make tears run. OK, if I'm happy or sad I can't help it unless I have to, but as for stress and it's insidious drip, drip effect that's a different thing. One method of coping with life's turmoil is to stand back from it, then to seriously think about it and instead of offering up doom and gloom settling down to real understanding. At the moment when I am reacting, I now do my best to calm and stop the reaction inside of me. This is where the coping with stress comes in. If being uptight about something is not actually going to help with the situation then it is a matter of getting rid of the uptight feeling. For instance, I know if I blow up like Vesuvius I'll be physically aroused, high blood pressure, elevated pulse, seeing red or green or blue, unable to see think straight, the flight or fight response kicking in. It is however, momentary, this flushed crazy episode. However, if it is allowed to vent then like a storm it has to wear itself out. The craziness has to be allowed to slowly subside. This is the way of emotions. It's not to say there isn't a time and a place for the appropriate emotions, just to take note, when they are not going to help they need to be coped with. This I believe is what Emotional Intelligence is all about. Over excitement takes away the rational clear mind, the mind where solutions come from, where creativity and thinking out of the box is situated. Self understanding is being able to adapt and know when to suppress the excited side of the emotional tyrant. A prime example would be in card playing. Where poker players observe their opponents for any facial or physical sign they have given away their hand. A player who could not stop themselves from smiling whenever they had a good hand would be a dead give away. You'd simply fold and not let the pot build up. Silly sod. He'll never win a big hand.
It could be emotional intelligence is about growing up and being mature. I've met grown up adults when I was s a child who were more childish than I was. Who even many years later still act in the same way. It's as though they have never learnt or understood. It can become of greater concern when such persons are in positions of authority. What happens though is these emotions now become part of their personality,of how they will react. Or you could say they just haven't learnt to control themselves. It's true they haven't. Were I a duck and afraid of water then it the phrase "water off a duck's back" would be anathema to me. But ducks somehow learn to cope with water pretty easily. It's not just the oils in their feathers. They to have to go through the initial anxiety driven moment of their first ever dip into the water as they follow a parent. It hardly takes any time before they get used to it. What a skill to have, then again I expect over excitement and water are two different things. But were I in the process of drowning and panicking, having the mind of a duck would probably save my life. Quack, quack, anyone got a bit of bread?
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