Take the phone off the hook and get connected

Something is up with my Internet connection.  It has been on the point of exasperation.  On I'd switch my PC, wait because it takes a few minutes to have coffee and biscuits, then wait a little more as the modem connects and a Google search page comes up.  But recently it has decided to become worse than a vacillating rat in a scientific experiment, trying to decide whether it is worth going for the extra cheese and getting an electric shock or if it should just stay where it is.  One second it connects browser pops up and then immediately the next second it has disconnected and the browser gives the I-can't-find-it message.  Back and forth I would go.  This has happened since returning from my break up North. 

In some mild desperation I rang up BT, and listened to their recorded message on how to check your own house telephones.  Taking them all out of the sockets and then putting them in one at a time.  Well, this really wasn't much use, the message lasted four minutes.  At the same time I was listening to these next to useless instructions for some reason the browser window worked perfectly well.  Hmmm.  I listened to the message and thought this was some kind of lucky break, just coincidence.  A paranoid part of my mind might even say the PC and modem were taunting me.  Playing with me, letting me think it was perfectly OK while I was in the process of reporting a problem.  The problem with BT is if they have to check your house equipment they then charge for the privilege of coming out.  This is a little bit of a no brainer, because most people would say BT go and jump on your bike I'll just change provider and sod off.  Anyway, the PC showed it's feminine side, working perfectly well, pulling up pages quicker than a normal.  Bloody thing.  I put the phone down.  Maybe it was me.  Maybe it was working perfectly well, because now it certainly was.  Once the phone was put down blow me over the bloody thing disconnected itself again.  Maybe it was possessed?  No.  I don't think so.  But even though the phone call achieved nothing in its content the act of taking the phone off the receiver had.

So the next evening rather than pull what little hair I have out of my head, I took the phone off the hook.  Hey bloody presto I've got Internet.  So I still don't actually know what is wrong with the line.  The only thing I have to worry about now is, whoever is listening in on the other end of the receiver.  Perhaps some government agency?  Well it's more likely then PC possession.