Sunday, January 08, 2012

Stinky the pissing cat and exercise.

Stinky the cat is pissing all over the place.  He's nothing like our old cat Tigger.  When Tigger wanted a piss or crap he would meow at the door to be let out.  Stinky just goes to the same places and pisses on the carpet.  If he's already pissed there he goes to his second best place to piss.  Not only that his piss stinks bad.  I don't know what to do, but if he carries on then there will only be one place for him, an appointment with the vet and a one way ticket to another place.  I love the cat but there is only so much piss you can keep mopping up.  If anyone knows how to train a cat to meow at a door and then piss outside please tell me.

Last night I decided I would hit the gym today.  I was hoping to get up early enough so I'd be there for 8 a.m., but I just couldn't do it, so made it for 9 a.m. instead.  There were not many people about this morning so it was good.  I like it when there's few people around.  There's no cuing up for machines then, no arsehole pricks just standing about by machines or in front of mirrors seeing if they look any better than they did the last five minutes ago they looked at themselves.  It seems with youth and body beautiful types there is a high narcissistic trait.  I bet Eysenck didn't even know it existed when he constructed his views on personality types. On the treadmill I had to take it easy and begin with my usual slow fat man routine, this is alternate five minutes of walking then running for half an hour.  During the walking periods I grasp hold of the bars and measure my heart rate through the sensors.  This is interesting because one measurement of fitness is recovery rate.  The faster you can recover from a strenuous exercise to a relaxed rate the better for the heart.  Well I think so anyway.  It was good to see after my first set of walking and running I'd managed to drop down by sixty heart beats in five minutes.  So I might be a walking middle aged fat boy but there is something there still just waiting to burst out into a fine featured athlete.  Unfortunately this middle aged fat boy probably has two athletes inside him waiting to burst out.  I don't at this moment have much in the way of discipline to get on the scales and begin the hard slog back to fitness.  The reason is it is a bloody hard slog, hard demanding and relentless.  It is so much easier just to be middle aged and fat than middle aged an athletic.  Even if there are certain advantages to being healthy.  Like not losing brain efficiency for one.  I could of course always run around after Stinky with a cloth and bucket, that might make me lose a few calories and slim down.  With the rate he pisses it I could be on a winner here. 

Dogs are much easier to train and get into the mind of.  Cats are too girly like.  Too emotional.  Or it just might be Stinky is an exception and is psychologically damaged.  Rather than the nice soft feel of grass he likes the soft feel of a carpet to put his arse on.  Cats you certainly can't kick up the backside.  If you did they'd go flying and probably lose a life.  Hell they need everyone one of their lives and Stinky could well be running out of his lives at the rate he's going.

Better go and fill the bucket up.  Lose a few more calories and make the house smell a little better.

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