Saturday, May 26, 2012

Sun, a beer and a discussion about broken love

The sun is out in all it's glory, it's hot, damn hot, so hot I see a chilli pepper jump into the shade and wipe it's brow.  I think my ears have caught a little sun.  They are bound to go red shortly then burn.  I've worn a short sleeved shirt and my arms have caught it as well.  I can feel a half kind of glow about them.  Luckily I didn't have shorts on because my legs would be flames.  Young men walk about revealing their torsos, six packs, eight packs and carry little pink handbags on their arms.  Maybe not but the narcissistic quality of walking half naked around town does provide an aspect to their psychological profile.  Unless they do it just to cool down, but I'm not sure to tell the truth.  There's something dodgy about it, overtly or subconsciously it holds meaning.  It would be quite a different thing to see fat bellied middle aged men walking about.  For they are quite happy in their sexual preference and they genuinely don't do it because they want to be looked at.  Often it is the opposite, people look away.  So I sat in the sun with Layabout Lad drinking a bottle or two of Bud.

We chatted about stuff.  His is usually the state of mind he is in, and his family life.  He talked about his ex girlfriend who had dumped him a year and a half ago.  How he could not understand or see what was going on.  Still he could not understand his own actions were a large part of it, how he had suffocated her with his feelings.  He admitted at the time the only thing which mattered to him was her.  She was everything.  He wanted to be the perfect boyfriend.  Emotionally he had put all of his eggs in one basket.  Family life does not provide him with the support he needs to understand and see beyond his actions.  We chatted.  I did my best to listen.  To try and put it straight.  Layabout admitted it was the first time he was able to actually chat about it.  Looking back he acknowledged his behaviour had been irrational at times.  There were times when I had invited him out for lunch and he would always ask if he could bring her along.  I always answered he could but deep inside I would cringe because I wanted time with him.  I think I only took them out together once, but there was a sickly feeling as I witnessed an over emotional dependency.  The break up had hurt him badly and even though he now has a new girlfriend there still is some pain.  Once they had departed he told me how his ex immediately went back to enjoying her life, partying and seeing other boys.  While he was grieving over the break up she clearly was not.  It made him bitter.  It was as though his entire life had been on hold and so had every other person and his relationships with them.  Even me, his uncle.  Looking back now he could see this.  He advised me he felt unloved at the time.  I said to him that I loved him.  He looked at me and gave a small smile, and replied along the lines of "no offense, but you don't have tits and are related.  No you do have, but they're man tits."  At which I called him a bastard and said he is due to  get a bitch slapping from me and I'd pretend to be gay and he was my honey.  Uncle knows best how to sort out broken hearted nephews.

The sun beat down and I sipped my Bud.  Layabout told me of his new girlfriend.  Things seemed to be going well and he wanted to take it slowly.  He said although it was a cliche time spent with her went fast.  They get on very well together and he thinks she would like  him to move in with her.  Perhaps a little scary when they have only seen each other twice.  Then sometimes when people meet they can fall in love after a very short time.  Even get married within weeks.  Layabout said how he liked Sparkling Eyes and how she stood up for him when he saw her, it made him laugh to see me get told off.  I remember how he didn't want to leave and even when I had got in the engine of the car was running he still didn't have his socks on or was fully packed.  I told him how I knew Sparkling is the only woman in the world for me.  I knew this because she told me so and told me no other woman would have me, he laughed again.  Sipped his beer and enjoyed the warmth of the sun.

No comments: