Fed Up

Yesterday I had a fed up thought. I was "FED UP," a number of thoughts then came to mind and stamped all over me like an elephant doing an Irish jig. Fed up with the untidy state of my room, a pile of gifts which need to be wrapped, fed up with not being as organized as I should be, fed up with spending too much of my time watching movies and TV, like there is nothing else which can be done, nothing more productive I should be doing. For a moment the thought of making furniture came to mind, because flat-pack furniture is made for one thing, being put on a skip or a bonfire. Nothing has any staying power to it. Fed up when I thought if I'd spent the same time writing or researching I'd of been doing something much more important and useful. Hell even learning a different language. Fed up with being woken at 1 a.m. every morning because Big Momma has got to get up and go to the toilet to relieve herself. After which trying to sleep again becomes a waking nightmare. Fed up with the food I eat which is going to lead me to only one place as my arteries fur up,  because everything eaten is fried. Fried this, fried that and a good deal of fried the-other. I feel untidy, a mink, in need of a good tidy up and a good high powered electric shock up my arse. And I don't want it to be a short termism thing. I'm fed up with poxy chocolate, cakes, crisps, sweets and biscuits. I want to be alive. I want to be healthier and fitter and ontop of things. This room is a mess! Again.

It is all down to habits, bad habits rule. They take over, they permeate all aspects of life and are as difficult to get away from as sitting on chewing gum on a hot day. Getting up and finding a long elasticated sticky bit stuck to your lovely pressed trousers. Then to find for the next eleven hours you're stuck in the same trousers in more than one way. I just feel like getting a bin bag and throwing away loads of shit because this room is so small. I got stuff on shelves which is years old and collects dust and is there from sentimentality. I look at it and think, I should pick up a certain book and re read it. It's got knowledge, owning knowledge is power. But this is wrong because it is knowing knowledge which is power, not holding something on a book which has been forgotten or even unread.

I am so Fecking fed up, I want to change things and get control back again.Some of this stuff is definitely going in the bin. I need to get some of myself back, I'm lost in this untidy mess. Do something, anything. At least even writing the occasional BLOG is productive. Thank goodness for the BLOG. A minor achievement in a room full of untidiness. 

A plan is what I need. Or The Plan. The Plan. I know doing these things with a burst of energy usually ends up with them being just little trinket things. Bursts of energy are prone to being used up and worn out in a very short time. This has got to be a slow charge. A trickle charge, a little bit every day. Just one small step followed by another. Making the change, diet, health, productivity, room, all have to be tackled.  A small bit at a time constantly plugging away at them. It's about getting something done. Taking back from the nasty bad habits. Removing them in a subtle way, a life improving way. I just have to do it and get on with it. Simple.