The 2010 London Parade and horse dung

There is something which happens whenever I return from Sparkling's, I usually get a little sad and have to be keep busy to get over it. Whether this means returning to the Fish Factory or just getting out and about. It doesn't matter. Then there is the coping with Big Moma, which can be difficult as silly questions are asked and I have a Bear's head on. So on the 1st January 2010 rather than kill Big Moma or throw her from the train, I had to get out of the house. So went to see the London Parade, which was in London of course, all on my own.

I found a slightly less crowded point in the sun because the shade was way too cold and watch the parade pass. Somewhere down Whitehall I stood. It was mildly amusing and my cynical bear head was now in place. When I saw an American band or two walk pass I thought they looked just like ordinary people, nothing special there. Although for some reason most of the young people had braces on their teeth. Which actually says nobody in this world is born with straight teeth, they are all crooked to some extent. Except the penchant of Americans to use this minor point to take the mickey out of the British. I have seen lots of British kids with braces on, it's almost a rite of passage through youth to adulthood. Had a fag, got braces put on, drunk alcohol till I puked, yep I can see the list being ticked off by contemporary teenagers. Although I must say the wiser ones don't have the fag. Fag in this case being a reference to a cigarette not a homosexual, unless of course such a thing takes your fancy and the fag is consenting.

I don't know why but I felt a bit colder in London than in Scotland. It could be something to do with standing around for a couple of hours and just waiting for the parade to pass through. Second note, when I say pass through I am referring to walking pass where I stood and not to the parade having a bout of diarrhoea, which would be terrible. Though there was a horse drawn open carriage for the Lord Major of London, it was some bloke with his wife and a kid. Dressed up kind of fancy like. One of their horses had a crap, so about twenty yards from my spectator position was the strategic placing of a horse dump for the rest of the parade to walk through. I didn't stay to the end but I'm sure if I had the constant procession of flotillas, bands, donkeys, dogs, more bands etc would of gradually cleaned up the horse crap. Imagine all those people with stinky shoes or lorries with horse manure in the tread of their tires. Once in a while it was a whiff of the stuff managed to reach where I stood. Typical of the dignitaries to leave crap behind for the rest of us to put up with.

I played with the notion of waving my hand at them. The dignitary types I'm referring to and not the ugly dog who sat in the passenger seat of a people mover. Yes a real dog, not a human being. However I thought it inappropriate to do so because I just don't know how I would of stopped myself from waving an obscene gesture. It played on my mind, I chuckled to myself and then it became an evil intent. Fortunately I refrained, kept my hands in my pockets and stayed as warm as I possibly could. It wouldn't make sense wasting time and effort and hand gestures at toffee-nosed icons of society and lose body heat at the same time. Not this time anyway. I'll save the action for another day. Anyway I didn't want to be the one who created an new craze which the world took on.

To thaw myself out I had a Chinese meal at the Won Kei in Wardour Street. They do food cheap and tasty. I ate too much, but such is my fate over Chrimbo, eating and getting fatter. I'll try and start the diet today. Try will be the catch word here. The Won Ton went down very well.

Anyway I'll be returning again shortly to see Sparkling. Maybe this time the cat will not walk over my head like it's his personal cushion. But it will not matter because I'll be happy and learn to get used to it. After all it might be worse, I could of been in a parade and marching in horse manure on a cold Friday afternoon.