Again another night passes and I feel I've missed out on sleep due to Stinky. He must of sat at the kitchen door meowing for a couple of hours wanting to be let out. I could hear him moan so it took me ages to slumber. Maybe it was the residual of his plastic bag phobia and he didn't want to dream of being chased by the orange thing as it clung to his body. I tried to remedy my plight by asking Big Moma to not let Stinky sleep during the day too much, just wake him up a little if he nods off. This way he'll be more inclined to fall into a land of free fishes and plenty of feline company. Hopefully without the carrier bag ghouls waiting for him. I'd hate to be Stinky.
Sparkling managed to message me today, saying how she would be working tonight and was taking one of the torches I bought with her. There has been several torches I've left at Sparkling's house. She thanks I have some kind of torch fetish. Whenever I got to the local DIY store it's one of the sections I regularly check out. I personally think torches are probably one of the most useful things a person can possess. The only problem is with Sparkling whenever I leave a torch there some other bugger leaves it turned on and drains the batteries out. Once I got those expensive Lithium batteries which cost and arm and a leg. Hell I walk around lop sided now, or rather I should say hop around. Then after I returned to London some unknown felon left the torch on and drained them. It could be me or it might not be, but this is irritating, very irritating, I say through clenched teeth. However, I expect the torch Sparkling decided to take was the one which cost very little and was in the sale last time I was there. It's one of those no battery ones, you just give it a shake and it generates it's own charge.
Dangerous Sports lad tried to explain how this worked, but it sounded like someone who really didn't know what they were talking about. I listened and didn't know myself but I did know the explanation wasn't what I was hearing. Someone shoot me, but they didn't. I don't mean it out of disrespect, but I know when I hear bull shit. Hell, we all do. In fact Sparkling has a special Bull Shit button just for me, I unfortunately bought it for her. It's used frequently when I'm in her company and she doesn't like what I am saying. Odd how I very seldom press it. Perhaps it's my ability to control my urge to kill when I hear bull shit, so it looks like I am interested. When I'm highly uninterested and then wish I was known by another name. Yes another name. The respected Ear Wax man. A man who could secrete great amounts of ear wax in a very short time and not hear a word anyone said, but look interested. What a talent this would be, I'd go to my local GP if it was possible to become such a person. In fact if there was an illness which turned me into Ear Wax man I'd be trying to find who had it so I could stand right next to them, I'd even pay them for a snog. Except of course if it was another man, or they had cold sores, yewwk.
Mind though, now I think about it, if Sparkling uses the B.S. button so much it might be in her favour to seek out the Ear Wax illness as well. No, lets be realistic here. She'd prefer I was more interesting. OK there I have it, my new year's resolution, be more interesting. Maybe even be the Ear Wax Man.
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