On the 21st Feb 2010, not long ago I wrote a blog about whether I should swim in the sea with the bigger fishes. This is my way of referring to industry and commerce in order to protect the innocent little fishes. I can happily say I was successful in acquiring a slightly bigger status on a temporary basis of between 3 and 6 months. Depending on how well I do. What I must admit was the odds were not too bad, given there were just a total of three fishes trying out for the new pond. Somehow I must of done something which impressed the two large clown fish who sat opposite me at the table. The interview was followed by a test. Which I felt so badly about I nearly just gave up and walked away, but as I was sitting next to one of the clown fish at the time I did the test, it made it a little more difficult to be so brash. I was happy when the news came to me and I succeeded. Not just for my own self confidence but another reason.
For one of the other two candidate little fishes was someone I am not getting along with. Someone who has got up my nose, given me an pain in the neck, vexed me, caused me to rage internally to the point I could of swam to the bottom of the pond got a pile of stones and then swam to the top of the pond to drop them on him. I now look upon this person with a little bit of pity. I know in the fish pond of industry I should do my best to get along with everyone, but sometimes it doesn't matter who you are there will always be some fish who has a particularly bad smell about them. In the way they talk, act or the manner they work. Then when you find out you're not the only person who has had the odd run in it's not your own sanity which is at issue. I have no doubt there are many fish ponds of life where a great deal of maladjusted fishes swim about and when you meet them the ubiquitous question comes to mind "how the hell did they get to be here?" Yes, it does. You just can't deny it. If fortune then spins her web and decides luck will not favour you gills you could then find yourself amongst an entire fish grouping of completely maladaptive fish personalities. Sharks, puffer fishes, little scared crapless minoes just not knowing where to turn, and the self absorbed "I am the best" twat fish. Who no matter how much you try to discus or logically deliberate a point they will always think they are right. Unfortunately, it's not an issue of argument or debate but one of their being the best and knowing more, or just thinking they know more. I personally learnt to hold my tongue and then no longer discuss any topic outside of the industrious fish pond we shared for a few hours of the day. Not even what was on last night's Fish Soaps. A saying came to mind along the lines of not feeding the fire with oxygen or something of this nature.
Yesterday, after about 2 months of long term preparation I entered the arena again and sat opposite three bigger fishes as they decided to pit their questions at me. They had already got me to sit a test which meant sitting in a room for an hour and a bitty. Writing like mad. Like a dispossessed LSD taking agony aunt, to someones personal dilemma. As I seated myself to face these familiar fishes they began by asking me to do a short presentation on the test I had just completed then threw their six questions at me. It was nice to say I had to answer six questions however, in the moment they told me a big wave of dread came over. the dread was along the lines of "blooming Aida, I'm gonna be here forever." I kept a stoic fish face on, just like the one I would use if I were a poker player. Listened to the first question which I think I slightly misunderstood, but answered. It was a half shaky start for me and I felt I should of done better. The same went for the second question. After which I seemed to get into the swing and warmed up. It was easier. By the end of this jousting period I had began to get horse and lose my gills. But regardless of the not so good account I gave of two of the questions I really went on to enjoy the whole experience not caring anymore whether I got the slightly bigger fish opportunity or not. It no longer mattered. I know, I had tried the best I could in the circumstances even if I hadn't remembered everything. I was alive, I still had a position as a slightly bigger fish for a short while and it really wasn't the end of the world.
Sparkling bless her. Is always a wonderful support in everything I do, but I decided to keep to side her suggestions on how to overcome the interview nerves. Which came in two parts. First she advised me to walk into the room hunch my back up and do a muscle man pose, going "grrrrrr" then secondly, say with as big a smile as I possibly could, with my tongue on the roof of my mouth "HELLO." I will admit to practicing this technique in front of Sparkling while she drank wine and laughed. She kept telling me I hadn't quite got it and asked me to repeat it a couple of times. She laughed a lot and this gave me a little clue maybe she was pulling my leg. It didn't matter though, because her encouragement and love was more important to me than much else.
I'm now waiting a response to yesterday's grilling. Next time I will bring along the sea salt.
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