Pigeons you are on notice

The pigeons are on notice.  Yes!!  The ones who reside under my roof tiles and then come clattering out every morning just as the sun rises.  The ones who like to have early morning parades, stumping about and then follow it up with incessant cooing, those ones.  Yes, their time is limited.  I've had a roofer come round and arranged for him to do a survey.  He didn't know where they were getting in either, but he will check out the whole roof and report back to me on what work needs to be done.  My fingers are crossed he can find their entrance point, and they will no longer have residence here.  He saw to how neighbours had thrown old break up on a garage roof.  If only I could do something about such habits as well, but I can't.  These flying rats are going to go, and the sooner the better.  I suggested a double barrelled shot gun, but he knew the tiles would get damaged, so it fell on equally deft ears when I pulled out an old RPG (Rocket Propelled Grenade) I had stacked next to a small set of ladders.  So it seems having a little fun while doing away with the things is out of the question.  I wouldn't mind even the cat seems to have no appetite for pigeon, the lazy little bugger, he sleeps all day wants nothing but affection and in return fails to rid me of these vermin.  Maybe I should put him on eBay and see if I get any offers.

It just so happened I noticed a window has been broken as well.  It's a single glazed upstairs bathroom one.  I can't work out how it happened.  Maybe a bird flew into it, but if a bird had flown into it at such force it would of tumbled down to the ground and I'd see it.  Unless the lazy cat then went and ate it up.  Which would be typical.  I looked for any stones which is inconclusive as a stone would of bounced back off the window, cracked it and could of ended up anywhere else in the garden.  I wondered if it might be a pellet from an air rifle.  But again had this happened then it would easily of been lost on the ground.  Therefore I don't know what cracked and broke the window and I don't have a clue when it happened. I'll blame it on the pigeons, well we all need something to heap blame on, and they're are just as good as anything else.

I hit the gym yesterday as a method of getting away from it all.  Then went on the running machine and did a good forty minutes without stopping.  I held a slow pace, didn't push it and just kept going, taking the occasional swig of water from a plastic bottle.  Which reminds me I read an article in the news about some chemical in plastic bottles which isn't good for men's sperm.  So it's plastic bottles which will lead to the demise of mankind.  Shame because it will give women kind something less to moan about.  It's funny the thoughts which go through your head when trotting away.  But running in a gym is nothing like a run in the park.  The park is better, tougher, it demands attention and the skill of a strategist.  Taking the right route to avoid dogs, ensuring when running down a hill it's done at a controlled pace other wise it will be face down if not on your arse.  Oh yes and always take a water bottle.  Damn back to the plastic issue again.  Well at least I can breath a little easier, exercising is good for combating asthma.  But not so good for the little fishes.  Well everything has some kind of risk.  At least the pigeons haven't had a good shit on me, wait to they find out they been evicted.  Memo look out for a hat for next week's run.