Well I did get out and have a run this morning. I said I would, and I did. Running an extra circuit round a field and getting up earlier than last week. It is cooler and even windier as well. I noticed more than usual how I just kept thinking about stuff. How thoughts about all kinds of things would just pop into my head. Some were as strong as horses others were like fleeting butterflies, dropping into consciousness and back out again. It seemed to happen more in the earlier stages of the run. When I was getting my wind. This takes about twenty minutes of hard panting and suddenly breathing finds a comfortable place. My legs felt as heavy as lead but the breathing was a lot easier. So the normal circuit of just two laps ended up 3 laps of a field. There were also fewer people about. With no over friendly dogs. I think people who walk dogs are friendlier than most other people around, they usually say hello to each other. Except their dogs don't say a great deal, they rather just shit or chase things. Hence my chicken legs giving them a wide path.
When I was thinking, I thought about trying to not think as I ran. Then I thought, well how about trying to think when I ran and for about two seconds this achieved silence. I thought about the pigeons on the roof of what would be a good method to get rid of them. Spikes came to mind, as did getting a ferret and letting it loose under the tiles. However, how to get the thing back became problematic. As I ran I thought what about making a tape recording of my thoughts while I run. Then I'd have a diatribe of rubbish. But even amongst the rubbish there would be an odd gemstone worth keeping. I thought about reminding myself to wear a suit to the Fish Factory on Tuesday. I've only got the one suit, so then thought whether I should get another. I had been asked to attend a court hearing to remove a fish from a fish pond. However, it all could be postponed or I might not be needed. I wondered on how many calories this running would use up. I wondered if thinking about nothing and trying to achieve a silent mind would actually do something at all. Whether I'd gain from it or not. The book I'm reading is fleetingly having an influence on me. Paradox, change and comedy all the necessary elements of accepting life, finding some sane quiet place. Never letting things become bothersome because of your very attitude. The paradox of never being harmed by anything, it only being your own attitude which creates the distress. So you can see. Having a run and trying to keep a quite mind is one hell of a challenge.
Eventually I did find some kind of peace. It must of been when I was soaking in hot water having a bath afterwards. Or maybe it was when I just sat down and found I had to keep my back straight. Exercise does this, for some reason you just can't help but want to correct your own posture. I still feel fat, but at least my back is a little straighter.
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