Rock Chick is layed up with one foot in the air, or rather supported by a sofa and a cushion. The nasty little bugger (wart) has been removed after surgery. Now it will take about three to four weeks to heel up. In the meantime her boyfriend, Dangerous Sports Lad is off away for six weeks in another part of the country doing things associated with his occupation. So in these circumstances you would of thought he'd be talking to her every night saying how much he misses her and how he can't wait to get back. But he is a man, a bloody man who needs to grow balls.
Rock Chick tells me there are two sides to Dangerous, there's the side she had tamed which got named the New Dangerous and there's the side before she met him she terms the Old Dangerous. The untamed Old Dangerous is even more self centred and petulant than the New Dangerous, which is a feat in itself. The absence of Rock Chick's presence has now effected New Dangerous so he is reverting to the Old Dangerous. Of course I want to kill him via a contract with my Sicilian friends. I would if I had them, but I haven't been to Sicily so I don't. I am particularly annoyed because poor Rock Chick has so far endured three weeks without Dangerous and it seems on a number of occasions he has been able to make her cry from a phone call. I have said to Rock Chick this behaviour is unacceptable and she should just put the phone down on him. Sparkling is also distraught with the situation and advised Rock the same. Instead, I get a text of a phone call made yesterday and another crying session. This again is outrageous to me; consequently I feel protective of Rock and angry at Dangerous.
Of course Dangerous can only hurt Rock Chick if she lets him. To this extent Rock has to make her own decision whether the Dangerous he now is (Old), is someone she should still care about. If she does and still has an affinity to this scrotum, I'll have no choice but to set the dogs on him when I next see him, stick his jaw together with superglue, find the biggest hob nailed boot I can and kick him up the arse, put a slow working laxative in his drink just before he is about to leave on a bus trip, take his skateboard and accidentally drive a car over it, stitch up the legs to his jeans, put his phone number in a Gents toilet frequented by other Gents who prefer Gent company than Ladies company, with of course an accompanying message about being free, single, available and up for anything, and lastly as he is sleeping one night, shave his head till he's bald and write in indelible ink "I am an idiot" on the back. Only then might my satisfaction be quelled from the tears he has made Rock Chick endure.
It's certainly true, when someone you care about deeply is sad you can't help but want to take the sadness away and make them feel happier. However, sometimes such sadness is a learning experience, and to learn something as important as how to deal with an idiot boyfriend for a girl like Rock is part of growing up. Alternatively, if she reads this BLOG there might be some very useful hints. Just say the word Rock and his arse will belong to a man called Shirley who's got a thing going for young bald men (idiots).
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